How often have you realized that people can detect things about us that we don’t naturally sense or acknowledge in ourselves? Consider whether you easily notice when other people behave in ways that you feel are wrong or, evoke discomfort. What should you do about that? What can you get out of this to improve yourself?

1) Move beyond identifying what others do wrong. You may readily notice when people make mistakes or anticipate when they’ll make them. You may discern how other people could improve results. Many people never ask, and if some do, they may resent your feedback. It’s all in how you say it. Only the truly courageous and open-minded seek feedback and apply it. The discerning among us, evolve to read into the reactions of others and the meaning behind emotions evoked in ourselves.

2) Rethink whom you emulate. We all have role models. People refer to workshops, seminars, tapes, DVDs and a host of other sources of information to guide them. Yet, listening and observing others won’t necessarily trigger transformation in yourself. The answers you seek always lie within. Other people may raise your awareness about how you can uncover innate talents or create new habits and patterns. Ultimately though, you must exert the effort and nurture the discipline.

3) Recognize your strengths and talents. You may take your own innate skills for granted. You may focus on the frustration of weakness and overlook the flip side. Perhaps you don’t know how to handle joy of compliments? It may not occur to you to take steps to read between the lines and develop yourself further. As people draw your attention to what you do well, this is a sign to move to the next level. 

4) To repeat affirmations and good intentions aren’t enough. You can boost your morale and inspire positive change in yourself with a few words, yet, if you don’t change your behavior longer term, your life will remain as it has before. You may feel better because you feel you take some action, at least initially. However, you are also your own most influential motivator. What will you do differently?

5) Self-directed learning can emerge from good intention. Decide to become the person you envisage would be required to reach your specific goals. Your ideas may or may not be compatible with those of people around you. You can grow to evaluate what works and doesn’t work.  A process of trial and error will enable you to find your way. Rather than seek to change others, become the model you imagine.