Brace yourself: what you need is already accessible. A trail of synchronicities points to this. You cannot gain or lose what matters but you can change your perception or focus of attention. Notice what happens as you step back and simply observe what is unfolding without judging. Notice how resistance to change subsides. Do you worry or exist is a state knowing all is well?
As you begin to recognize the 'quest' within the question has different purposes and lessons, the game of life rises to a whole new level. You can move through beliefs and perceived problems, brainstorm possible causes, create affirmations, and new patterns. Feel the roadmap to peace.
In essence, this tells you awakening is not the same for everyone. What you think you want at different stages of life evolves. Underneath every desire and quest, who you are is constant. What stands out as a current priority is impermanent. Each experience you choose serves you and also reveals what is permanent. Everything is here but you may forget how to see. Just ask.
"Act with a spirit of detachment, being equal to success and failure. Such evenness of mind is called yoga." -Bhagavad Gita