Unanswered mysteries

You may know people are don't appear to be happy.  Perhaps they're different and desire to be taken seriously when they're not.  Are you the kind of person who would hide your perceived talent or ideas and suffer inside because of secrecy? Do you think you may be laughed at or put down?  Do you have reason to believe offering your service would be controversial or ostracized?

Each person has unique talents with the potential to help the world.  You need not receive some official pardon or forgiveness for what you are.  You have things to offer, so why hold back?  Rather than be discouraged by scam-artists or dishonest people, concentrate on how authentic you feel at the core.  Every person is full of unanswered mysteries.  You may not yet realize you're capable of things that will surprise even you.  Learning about you is your life journey. 

You will likely find life more fulfilling if you resist following rhythms or examples set by others.  As you learn to respect your own rhythm and traits, you will travel your own way, learn what feels comfortable when you're ready, and complete the journey you set out on alone.  Its part of a larger plan.  What you learn along the way is exactly what you are supposed to learn for the next step.

You may find out how other people live or promote their careers, but what you learn about them reflects back on yourself.  How you interpret your reality, and what you offer will all come about during your journey to discover yourself.  You'll sense your confidence as it grows and be happy to share those aspects of yourself that reveal who you truly are.  Raising self-awareness can be an enriching life education.

Choose insanity wisely

How you think determines what you do now and how your life will evolve into the future. If you're foolhardy, or you act based on senselessness, where would you be headed? Your thinking influences mindset and virtually everything you perceive.  Do you realize the wider implications of this? Would you pretend to ignore how your attitudes are slowly revealing themselves and why? How you think matters.

As you reflect back on your childhood, you recall absorbing much of what you were told. You listened to parents, relations, teachers, mentors and role models in your community. Recall what they told you? Local police may have done a presentation at your school about road safety and how to cross the road when the pedestrian light turns green. A church minister or other religious authority may have drilled commandments or other standards into you head. Teachers and principals ingrained those school rules. Caregivers may have disciplined you for bickering with siblings of friends, or not doing what you were told. Which memories come rushing back?

As an adult, you were likely apt to analyze or question rules learned early on. You may walk across the street talking on your mobile phone regardless of the pedestrian lights. You may be rushing around so much and live a life that mutes the impact of religion as the guide it might've been. Being out of school has taught you rules of survival, approval and reward differ greatly in the real world. You may or may not keep in touch with siblings.  What do your past interactions teach you? How do your reactions to rules in society reflect your true personality and aptitudes?

What you do with what you know gives you hints about how you value or apply what you have learned. Where do your current perspectives and values stem from? Why do they matter to you? Other people may think you're crazy. How do previous life experiences shape you? Everything you have done makes you who you are.   Nothing is meaningless.  You'll eventually arrive wherever you're meant to arrive.  When you get there, what you learn along the way and how is up to you.

The time comes when each person arrives at a crossroads. You’re confronted with continuing along the lines of what role models have taught or, you’re prompted to develop the courage and inclination to redefine what you stand for. This includes values and principles, and what seems right or wrong for the person you are now.

Suddenly, what you learned before may be irrelevant. You may struggle to figure out why you think differently. As you start to question things you learned in the past, this may be a sign of growth and the prospect of positive change. The choices you made in the past were based on who you were and how you thought then. If you feel defeated, you may also be ready to think in new ways based on lessons learned. What you did before didn't work. Situations you face now could be new. Where would you seek alternative standards for your ethics, morals and behaviors?

Turning to nature isn’t uncommon. After all, animals behave in ways that may have some appeal. What would you choose to emulate? You can look at how specific species love, nurture and protect their kin, or trigger conflict. You can consider priorities of survival and companionship.  The choices are as vast as you imagine.

Then again, perhaps you would determine what feels right will benefit other people. Which kinds of choices would be preferable and for whom? Rather than act impulsively, you may be concerned with causes and wider consequences. How could you make the world a better place because of a path you follow? Decisions may be grounded in faith.  Your view of 'normal' may be someone else's idea of insanity.

Ageless wisdom

To know what it means to experience a meaningful life implies a kind of personal growth. You will recall life phases where certain activities and friends seem important, and later, these things will no longer seem important at all. You may even ask what possessed you to devote time to causes and relationships you would no longer favor. What is the impact of time on you? How do you evolve?

I recently assisted friends begin to sort through the house of their deceased great aunt. During her 101 years, her habits changed considerably. Imagine how the world evolved in her lifetime. She lived at home until the last four months of her life. Only then, she dealt with the politics of aged care homes. From age 94, she had daily home care visits yet, she also helped herself.

During her youth, she was apparently a social butterfly. However, as she outlived her friends, she became far less social. Her life evolved into simple routines from eating, sleeping and bathing to reading as long as she could strain her eyes. She became quite solitary, except for a few regular visitors. She also outlived her husband by 30 years. He was 6years older than she. What did she do to refine making the most of her time? Health and faculties determined what was possible.

It was quite startling to discover piles of clothing and shoes stashed away that this lady had bought many years ago and never worn. She had a wardrobe full of mould and dead bugs along with newspaper cut-outs, shot gun shells and basic sewing accessories, among paper bags and buttons supposedly worth saving. Handbags, gloves, hats and scarves had been collected during an era when shopping was her favorite thing. That part of her life was over, but she wanted to hang onto these things.

Her kitchen drawers were stuffed to the brim with coupons, knick knacks and paraphrenalia. She was portrayed as a pack-rat, a sorter of gadgets and a very organized woman who knew exactly how much her bills were and whether or not they had been paid. The stories she retained and shared were perhaps the best example of her humour and ageless wisdom.

We can learn a lot form our elders; how they lived, what they did or didn't do, and their general perspectives on situations which may be part of our history.

Swat that annoying habit

As you get-to-know yourself, you begin to recognize patterns.  How can you learn to distinguish between the constructive and destructive ones for you?  You may seem to fall into new jobs because you presume you'll get them, even if your qualifications don't fit the bill.  People may naturally blame you when things go wrong or, question your reliability even when your track record doesn't give them reason to think that way. Do you feel like you only do the wrong thing? Examine your mindset and swat those habits that don't help you. You have power to choose!

1) Why do you talk so much? Its possible you're a big talker yet, you may still sense that you're unable to do everything you say.  Acting as though you're 'bigger than your britches' implies you will find yourself in an embarrassing situation. As you defend ideas, be ready to live accordingly.

2) What is it about forcing the issue?  Each time you talk inventory of where you are and how you feel, identify whether you're satisfied and whether you have faith in evolving situations.  Whenever things don't feel right, it's the time to stop and re-evaluate.  People react to you in ways that reflect how comfortable you feel about yourself.  Take a cue and better equip yourself.

3) Do you assume you know it all? People you know may point helpful things out  that you failed to notice yet, you get tense.  To be responsible means you're always ready to watch and learn.  To be irresponsible would imply you disregard external input and refuse to remain open to learning lessons.  Assuming you know everything closes you off from growth and new motivation.

4) Who are your peers? If you choose company in people who criticize, belittle or otherwise harm you, then you may not know the value of true friends.  You may be on a self-defeating road.  True friends support you in all conditions and do not focus on your faults and weaknesses.  They seek to encourage you, to help you develop your skills and talents, rather than break your confidence.  If you don't yet know anyone like that, these people are "out there." It's up to you to find them.

5) How is it you dwell on guilt or sadness?  It can be tempting to get wrapped up in conflict and human tragedy around you.  Don't.  Recognize people will always be happier or worse off than you somewhere.  This doesn't beg indifference, but on some level, it does give you reason to believe you deserve what you experience.  As you learn to stop asking why me?, why not ask, why not me?  Overcome negative feelings about things you can't control.  Shape your life instead. 

Tune into your signs

You dream your life is evolving at a rigorous pace, in what you convince yourself to be all the right directions, but how often do you really listen to yourself and your behavior? Do you know what you really want? This isn't simply a question of knowing how you really feel about your choices and relationships. Its a question of discovering things you may not have known about yourself. When you’re ready to learn, the signs are all accessible for you to sort through:

1) Read your physiology. Consider your autonomic nervous system. Notice how you react spontaneously to ideas and thoughts of your life circumstances. When does your mouth water? Why would you perspire? What can differences in your heart rate tell you? In which conditions would you get goose bumps? Do you experience adrenalin rushes? What about energy boosts? Are you affected by sympathetic ("fight or flight") or parasympathetic ("rest and digest”) instincts?

2) Read into your emotions. Your body responds to the way you think, feel and act. This is your mind-body connection. Anytime you feel stress, anxiety or worry, your body reveals signs that something isn’t right. If your blood pressure rises, you know restless sleep or you develop stomach ulcers, stress about some aspect of your life may be the root cause. Strained emotional health may weaken your body's immune system, making you more susceptible to colds and other infections during hard times.  How you react to your life determines how well you handle things. 

3) Identify your instincts. Your body senses whether a particular choice or set of circumstances, contribute to your happiness. To feel as though you work toward something that motivates and inspires you is incentive to keep on your track. Yet, if your mind is filled with doubt, negative thoughts, and questions slowing down to understand more is desirable. Don’t continue action you feel isn't good for you.

4) Isolate what’s missing. At times, what you don’t notice or tell yourself is precisely what you should be noticing or saying about your life. If your self-confidence is lacking, it would be difficult to convince other people to support your ideas or convince them, things are great.  Are you persuaded where you are is a good thing? If you don’t hear your mind, body and soul encouraging yourself to continue as you have been, you should recognize the implications for change.