Step away from self-sabotage

How far would you go to live your dreams? What risks do you contemplate? A sense of insecurity may cause you to avoid risks. Ask yourself why you hesitate to discover yourself. Drifting around in defeat and failure doesn't have to define your future. What looks like a mistake, isn't really a mistake at all. It's all in how you interpret it, what you choose to learn. Your family history may include serious physical illness, depression, addictions, negativity, disaster or 'wrong' choices. This track record doesn't mean you must forever identify with pain or failure. You aren't your relatives. Step away from self-sabotage. You define yourself through your own risks.

Consider the story of Santiago Munez. As an illegal Mexican-American immigrant, he worked as a gardener with his father to pay bills. His father repeatedly told Santiago he wasn’t capable of doing anything meaningful with his life and that he would always be underprivileged. When he was offered the chance of a lifetime, he chose to leave his family, his struggling life in Los Angeles and everything he knew to travel to England to a totally foreign world. His determination and belief in himself led him to exhilarating, fast-paced international soccer areans. He rose to be a star.

Consider the story of a Costa Rican boy who grew up with 17 siblings in a small apartment with a drug addicted mom. At age 15, he left for the U.S. with an older brother. About a year later, then living on the street, this 16 year old boy grew into one of the most violent gang leaders in New York’s history. At one point, a brave priest approached him to attend a church meeting. The boy reacted with ridicule. He took his gang to church, intending to disrupt the service. Yet, instead, he was moved beyond measure by a love and compassion he had never known. That turning point led him to become a missionary and evolve to counsel violent teens.

Consider the man who's relationship history includes three marriages and three divorces. After a bout with infidelity, another wife contracting cancer, and a quick fling and run to the chapel he'll seldom discuss, his view of good relationships has been severely damaged. Although employed with a stable income later in life, his self-esteem has progressively deteriorated. Yet, somewhere inside, he realized restlessness wasn't the answer. He realized hanging in limbo with a sense of self-defeat wasn't resulting in his desired reality. He took a hard look at himself, sought counselling, admitted accountability and clariifed his desires. Soon after, a kind woman entered his life. His new marriage is the most loving and meaningful yet.

Just because previous attempts to get what you wanted didn't work out, doesn't mean all is lost. You could be from a dysfunctional background, or maybe you've done things you aren't proud of. Even though you think you've repeatedly messed up, if you keep faith in your abilities, you nuture hope. If you aren't blaming the past, you may blame yourself. The only person who holds a grudge is you. You may know divorce, bankruptcy, even illegal acts. Your past choices don't have to define how you proceed from here. You decide whether you'll risk a new path. Isolate and reverse any self-defeating thoughts prevent you from doing what you aim to do.

Reach out for guidance. Learn how to put your hopes up. A positive, hopeful frame of mind will encourage you to take risks to lead a more fulfilling life. You have as many chances as you're willing to give yourself. As you give yourself another chance, you won't change the past, but you can ressurect your dreams and pursue them with new vigor. Move beyond disappointments and situations that discouraged you. You have a destiny. No matter what your perceived setbacks, you can rise above them.