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« Digest the possibilities | Main | Sarina Russo & 5 Reflections to prepare for peak performance »
Thursday
May102007

Identity crisis

How often have you met people who equate self-worth with their sense of success in career and school? These people define themselves only in those spheres, and they have never learned to identify with anything else. Do you know anyone like this? Have you ever felt like this? If so, what have you done? What would you like to do?

Conditioning yourself in some ways and then, feeling unprepared for other life changes, has been known to leave some people disturbed and disoriented about what their lives are supposed to mean. Yet, self-confidence doesn't only have to come from what you do and what other people assume you should do. Begin to realize you aren't missing what you're no longer doing, but you may be missing out on great things about where your life is at right now.

If you haven't experienced such an identity crisis before, consider what you would feel like if you devoted yourself to work and school and it became all-consuming. If your life basically revolved around how you spent your time and you suddenly stopped doing these things, or were prevented from continuing because of health reasons, job loss or other changes beyond your control, then your intimate bond with yourself and life might seem abruptly cut. You may wonder where you're supposed to belong and whether things could be as they were before. How would fear or regret help you?

An identity crisis may set in because your life is evolving in new directions and you resist change. Ask yourself what these experiences are teaching you? Getting worked up about where you're not is failing to see the significance of where you are and why you feel as you do.

For now, learn to be where you are and see blessings in your conditions. You can find things to appreciate about new places, jobs, perspectives, relationships, parenthood or other changes. Reflection will help you better understand why you desire to return to the phases of you're life you've already passed even if you aren't sure exactly where this is. You'll get your bearings. Believe that you can and you will.

It may be hard to grasp initially, but you don't always succeed at certain things because you decide not to inside. You may consciously decide to pursue one direction and find your life circumstances evolve in completely different ways. Take this as a sign. You may not know yourself as well as you think you did.You're always learning.

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