What happens after "hello?"

More than once in your life, you may have taken a chance to speak with a stranger. It may have been just outside a hotel.  You may have asked a shopkeeper for change.  You may have stood at a bus stop or at some other venue, and something inside compelled you to open your mouth and comment on the weather.  You may have offered to help an over-loaded person carry parcels.  Perhaps you kindly offered directions or inquired about the time. Maybe you simply had had a bad day and desired to get a few things off your chest. But then, what happens after "hello?"

Of course, there's also the chance you have thought about talking to strangers, but always held yourself back.  You may feel tongue-tied, be worried about what you would say, or how your words would be peceived by others. You may lack self-confidence to take such an initiative or, you may have always been told its just not the thing to do. I've met some people who learned it could be dangerous to speak with strangers and other people who simply think it really isn't polite.

My own experience has been varied. I've learned that taking the risk to talk to a stranger isn't wise in some circumstances.  I've also learned that taking a risk to talk to a stranger can open doors of opportunity which have truly enriched my life. I suppose that as you build confidence and learn to trust your intuition, you'll learn where and when taking a risk to speak to people works or doesn't work for you.

A positive example of where I took a risk was outside of a hotel in Sydney, Australia. I had a flexible schedule for part of that day, and I struck up a conversation with a Chinese family who was waiting for a change in pedestrian light beside me. I had a map and asked if I could assist them with directions. Two of the men were living in Brisbane, and one man was accompanied by his visiting parents from Beijing. Not only was I able to offer them directions, but I ended up walking with them into the city, showing them some venues I knew, and we discovered other venues together.

As the morning went on, I showed them Hyde Park, Phillip and Cook Parks as well as Botanic Gardens. We read and laughed about foreign vegetation, and chose to watch and cheer on the competitors of tail-end of the local triathalon. I was available to take photos of strangers and they even took some with me. The Chinese visitors shared a fruit picnic with me. We watched cockatoos, ducks and other native birds beg to share.  These people discovered places they may not have otherwise seen in part because I was took the time to be with them. I also learned from them as we walked along.  Much to my pleasant surprise, I found I had a lot in common with one of them and sense we'll be able to assist each other more in the future. They were surprised that a stranger like me would help and also seem so friendly. They now have a different idea of possibilities. 

About lunchtime, I left them to continue to discover the harbour and other local areas without me. Though, what a marvelous time I had had! All this happened after I chose to say "hello." I went on with the rest of my day, reminding myself that you never know who you might meet or where, and how you might be in a position to help. Risk-taking can be a blessing, if you choose to believe in yourself and all the positive experiences waiting for you around the corner.

Stop resisting things that work

Difficulties may appear to happen. We can each discover we have inner resources. Take the risk to survive your perceived adversity. Paths you define teach you how to live in more meaningful ways. It's not that you forget how to take risks. Some people just never choose to learn how. You may resist doing things you sense are truly necessary. Next time you tell yourself you're too busy to do what you you'd rather, stop and think what you're really saying. Learn to read between the lines. You may have forgotten what it means to be honest with yourself.

Choose instead to be brave. Reflect on your life and discern where and when you've taken risks and where you've chosen to avoid them. Do you recall experiences where you learned to take risks to love and encourage others or, to take risks to feel encouragement? Some of those risks you took will not have turned out as you hoped. Yet, all outcomes from all experiences enable you to get in touch with yourself. What have you learned? Take risks to listen and help yourself while you also serve others.

Did you ever think you were meant to get off track in order that you would develop the skills to live a more fulfilling life? If you stumbled onto a material fortune and had all your needs and dreams satisfied, taking risks to lose it all might become your primary source of motivation. Is our task to learn to trust ourselves and others? to take chances and experience vulnerability? joy and pain? Why are you here?

Some people take steps to teach themselves the true meaning of impermanence. It requires risk to define and lead a life of instability. Other people strive to reinforce permanence, legacy and physical reality. No matter what your choices, you take risks to learn how to live. As you find ways to help yourself, your inner wisdom grows. As you learn to listen to yourself, other people may begin to learn from you and take their own risks. Once you stop resisting what it means to feel more alive, you'll take risks to set yourself free. The degree and nature of freedom are totally up to you.

Against the odds

Are you the sort of person who asks, "when will they ever learn?" You may secretly wish you had the courage to take chances other people do, even if they don't always end up with their desired outcomes.  Maybe hearing about and even knowing some of these people is causing you to think it might be time to give up some of your fears and false beliefs.  After all, consider the barriers you have built up around them.  What do you prevent yourself from experiencing or achieving?

From the point you decided you desired more of certain things in life, you resolved to do what was required.  In your mind, you thought of reaching out to take what you could, but you didn't have the audacity.  Instead, you chose to follow set rules and systems, adopting the status quo.  You did what was expected, and you gradually moved up the ranks.  Perhaps you even lost your nerve to take chances.  What would it have mattered anyway, you think, unless it might've cost you your position or peer respect? You came to feel brute force was the way to separate winners and losers, yet, you've come to feel having what you've gained is missing something.

A voice inside is urging you to evolve away from that which you thought you were, in order to accept who you are.  You're realizing that protecting yourself from what you wish to experience is no longer the way to go.  You will stop justifying why you refuse to take that chance.  You're thinking it makes more sense to expend effort toward acting rather than listening to your doubt. 

It's time to ask yourself a few questions: is it possible some of your past choices weren't the ones you really desired to make? Is it possible that by taking a risk now to do things differently, that you would learn things about yourself that could change everything?  Is it possible that inviting yourself to step out of your comfort zone could be exhilarating, life-altering and transform you for the better? 

It's true some people appear content as they are.  Still other people refuse to accept a possibility of new ideas, and prefer not to try to understand them.   Each day, in everything you do, you live the results of your assessment and your choices.  By doing something or not doing something, you're responsible for the risks you consider and your reactions.  What would it take for you to alter some of your conditioned beliefs, to rethink your ways, and evolve new points of view?

Rebel with just cause

Taking a risk to be yourself and not conform may be a challenge. After all, society discourages it. Consider current job systems require individuals to study the same courses and take the same tests. Rewards include predictable employment, vacations and lifestyles. These are often sought after. Would this appeal to you?

When you attend social functions, one of the first questions asked often pertains to what you do for work. Some people feel more comfortable if they can pigeon-hole you into a category. Then, they think they may begin to understand and relate to you. For some of us, it would be a risk not to 'fit in.'  For others, conforming to discomfort would be too risky. If you don't care either way, it may be a toss up.

The mindsets and performance of people who excel in status quo systems reflect a certain kind of intelligence. Yet, did anyone ever tell you that more than one kind of intelligence exists? Think about emotional intelligence, intellectual intelligence, relationship intelligence, business acumen, to name a few. Just because you develop personal strengths in a specific area doesn't mean you know about them all.

Based on your behavior and attitude, people may describe you as "unique" or keep their distance because your choices make them feel uncomfortable. They may admire you for courage but fear stepping out of their comfort zone. You may be tempted to dress like everyone or make similar choices to people around you if you think this what is expected of you. This may also be true. However, what does the little voice inside of you say? Is this what you truly desire to do or be?

Rebels are often perceived as troublemakers who break existing rules or resist authority. Yet, expressing your own thoughts, paving your own road, and becoming a pioneer in your chosen field, doesn't have to be understood as an act of defiance. The world would be far less interesting if everyone all thought the same, acted, and spoke the same. Each of us has innate talents and personal visions yet, we don't all listen to ourselves, recognize our dreams or seek to be ourselves.

When was the last time you took the risk to listen to your conscience or intuition? If you did take the time, what kinds of feelings would you encounter? Hopes and fears are key to our dreams.  Why not take a risk to begin to decipher what you've known forever, but had chosen to forget? It's never too late to discover new parts of you.

Strategies to get over hurdles

Risk-taking is sometimes compared to thrill-seeking in such sports such as rock climbing, deep-sea diving, spelunking, hang gliding, bungy jumping or parachuting from planes.  Of course, gambling and feeding addictions or obsessions describe very serious and perplexing problems in societies. A need for safety is fundamental, so are risk-takers illogical? irrational? or somehow mentally ill?

People who take a chance to lose things recognize value can be found in a hazardous situation.  You may find yourself in a position where you're unsure if you're willing to do what it takes to get the adrenalin flowing or to redefine an acceptable or menaingful life.  You may hear people telling you all those reasons why they think you should or shouldn't, when a voice inside whispers what you really wish to do.  Consider these questions when contemplating how to proceed:

1) What is your confidence level? Sporting risk takers tend to have high self-confidence they can manage the risks involved, and friends also choose to take fatal risks. Physical challenges in extreme altitude or temperature may trigger fight or flight response, although because confident people believe they're in control of the risks, they sense high arousal as excitement rather than fear. If you're a sporty sensation-seeker with a track record, go for it! If you have no record, but you have attitude, confidence and emotional support, that's a good sign.

2) How would you describe your anxiety level? No matter what you wonder about, from those potential job changes, developing or leaving a relationship, to making other decisions you've never made before, it's natural to second guess yourself, at least initially.  Your own conscience you may seize your attention to ensure you think before you act. If fear and doubt grab your attention, only you determine whether you permit them to control you for good reason or if your imagination runs wild. Consider the impact of prospective decisions on other people and if you act with self-interest or for the greater good.  Refer back to the principles and values you've been taught, on how you evolve, and on the future you desire.

3) Could you afford to lose? Where health or financial stakes are high, consider the worst case scenario. If you bet your life savings on one horse race or a handful of companies in the stock market and you lost, would you be able to live and survive with the consequences? If you know substances from smoking to illicit drugs will lower your life expectancy, and you take them anyway, how does this impact family and friends? If you're willing to take serious health risks, you go beyond rebelling against social conventions and rules and risk physical well-being and your life.

4) Are you in line with your priorities? The nature of the risk you ponder may not "fit a specific profile." Think about your personality in relation to your view of risk-taking behaviour. You may not know anyone who has taken risks you contemplate.  You may desire to be a pioneer, or do things no person in your family has done.  Generalisations of what is or isn't a good risk may not apply.  Reassure yourself about exceptions.  Profiles of desireable risks for certain types of people need not be your reference.  If you research pros and cons of taking the risk or not, you will have to decide if the possible sacrifices and rewards would be worth it.

5) Could you live with yourself if you didn't take the risk? Your circumstances may be humble, and you're offered the chance to try out for a professional sports team in another country.  Your life may be hanging by a thread, and you're given the chance to test a non-proven drug which could save your life.  Your young child has the chance to accomplish significant in life but it goes against what you know. Do you pass guardianship to a foreign coach and send the child away?  You're nominated for a position that would enable you to enrich your community, but it would require compromise and sacrifice beyond your current limits. You may be in love with someone and feel shy about sharing how you feel. What if they never know? Taking the risk to step outside your comfort zone, to do something uncomfortable or scary has the potential to change your life or the life of someone you are about. Reflect on the power of control and ego and the benefits of making trade-offs.