Limitations are illusions

Friends may confide in you that they have dreams of plans they currently postpone. Surprisingly, many of the reasons they offer for not taking risks are based on their underlying fears they often refuse to admit.  You may not realize fear fuels every imagined limitation and they are human inventions.  We attract and create our own sense of limitations based on what people tell us.

I recently spoke with a talented sidewalk artist.  He was designing chalk images comparable to the paintings of the Sistene Chapel in Florence, Italy.  This man admitted he struggled financially to survive.  Nonetheless, whenever he had a spare moment, he ventured out into the city.  He desired to advertise his talents to the public and take initiatives to seek new commissions.  He takes risks to show and promote what he thinks he can do and he also accepts and grows from critics.  He believes that he has the abilities to rise above his own perceived limitations, and he backs up his beliefs with actions to prove what is truly possible.

How many people will tell you they plan to do something or have thought of doing something yet, have yet to do that thing? Robert Bateman is a Canadian nature artist who chose to become a highschool teacher after university. He didn't believe that his artistic talents would enable him to support himself. So, he decided not to take the risk and chose instead an easier, predictable road.  Years later, he gave up teaching and decided to focus on his passion for nature sketching and painting.  Funny, he sketched and drew during his spare time thoughout his teaching career.  He grew to love and appreciate his talents in new ways and rose to a higher level of awareness about taking risks.

For years, I recall speaking to people about writing books. Many people will say how much they would like to do such a thing, but they often hold themselves back. They explain why they don't have the time, don't have the patience or commitment.  I've been asked about the process of writing a book and seeking an agent and publisher after I've experienced those things myself. I've shared my own story and explained the difference between thinking and doing is only the action steps.  For anyone who has postponed a dream, realize that it is well within reach.  All you need to do is embrace the learning process and do some research about details you have yet to learn. People who realize dreams are open-minded and willing to make mistakes as they move ahead.

Valentine

When was the last time you told someone how much they meant to you? In the Western World, Valentine's day has become somewhat commercialized, yet the occasion still encourages people to express how they feel. You may know people who feel as though it's risky to express their true feelings because they fear rejection.  At the same time, if you do not take the chance to tell someone how you feel, they may never know and you could lose out on the opportunity for a very fulfilling relationship.

Back in high school, I recall how friends would encourage friends to share love notes because they were too afraid to deliver them in person. Remind yourself that it doesn't have to be Valentine's Day to compel you to do something impulsive or special for someone you love. Consider sharing some of your own romantic efforts and whether they worked as you'd hoped.  What inspired you to do what you did? How did the other person respond?

Burning bridges

If you're in a competition to get a dollar coin from the bottom of a cold swimming pool, you may prefer to wade into the shallow end rather than step off the diving board into the deep end.  You may desire success, but be reluctant to take big risks required to expedite it.  Wishing or hoping alone will not enable you to win this race.  Don't recognize any prospect of failure.  Instead, institute plans with determination and persistence.  If at first, you jump in and come up empty-handed, take another breath and submerge again.  Definite steps will help get that coin.

Consider a man who's business wasn't growing at the pace he had hoped.  He took the risk of telling his children he would take them to Disneyworld at the end of that same year, knowing full well that in order to afford it, he would have to pull up his socks.  As a reminder of his dream, he wore a Minnie Mouse watch all year.  Each time he looked at it, he was reminded of not only the promise he made to himself, but also the promise he made to his children.  He didn't wish to lose face.  He specifically said he would take his children on that trip to force himself to stay on track.  This motivated him to increase sales and earn what he needed to to go.  He barely pulled it off, but that was years ago, and his kids still talk about how he kept that promise.  Rather than burn bridges, he chose to reinforce the human connections they symbolized in clients and family.

Consider the student who was determined to work for a particular employer.  He wanted this job more than anything else.  He created a plan which he felt would attain that purpose.  He burned bridges when he turned down some unexpected offers in sectors of lesser interest.  He stood loyal to his desire until it became his focus and finally, reality.  He approached his prospective employer, not thinking what he'd do if he didn't succeed, but by explaining why he was going to work for them and how they would benefit.  He didn't reflect on other opportunities.  Instead, he reminded himself that this was what he truly sought above all else.  He didn't give himself alternative recourse.  Rather, he moved forward with confidence and convinced the employer. 

When you're willing to burn all sources of retreat, you will be building the mindset known as the desire to win, and you will be less likely to falter from your plan.  You will be building bridges rather than burning them out from under you.

Chosen or imposed risks?

Risks certainly come in different forms based on our own perception.  Do you consider the risks you take to be somehow foisted on you like you don't have a choice? Or do you seek them out because you feel you can gain something from taking risks?

The Dalai Lama chose to secretly flee Tibet because the Chinese violently took over in an effort to suppress an ancient, religious culture.  Like the Dalai Lama, many Tibetan citizens, including brave children, have chosen to risk their lives to journey through harsh natural, conditions in order to have a chance at freedom.  They choose to expose themselves to hazards, possible gunfire and death in order to take charge of their fate. They would be taking a risk to stay in Tibet and be constantly threatened, and they would be taking risks if they choose to leave all they had ever known. When faced with life and death situations, one typically chooses life.

In 1943, when the Soviet Union took over Estonia, my maternal grandparents took their children and risked their lives to escape amidst bombings.  In their minds, choosing between prospective oppression and freedom wasn't really a choice.  To lose national independence and stay there would've meant losing the freedom to use their native language, being unable to nurture their culture, to exercise their will.  There was even the likelihood of ongoing surveillance and a threat of death. They preferred to take their own risks to travel to Germany and work there, then onto Italy and Australia where they lived brief periods before moving onto Canada.  They chose to move places that offered them civil liberties, freedom of speech and opportunities rather than increasing restrictions. They also had the luxury of their health, resourcefulness and determination to overcome incredible odds during wars that are difficult for me to imagine.  So, choosing life over possible death can be linked to our values and principles as much as to instinct.

When you think of the risks you take everyday, you may note bigger ones and smaller ones.  You may be fortunate to live in a country where you don't take your life into your own hands each time you venture to a local market or choose to practice your belief system.  You may not think that more people die in car accidents each minute than people statistically die in airplanes.

Even basic, everyday activities involve risks for some people. You can quantify and compare the hazards, but can you minimize or eliminate them? News headlines regularly announce harmful chemicals we should avoid avoid, or foods and behaviors which represent threats. You may dream of a simpler world where you perceive fewer risks. But does such a world really exist? If we reflect back, a century ago, life expectancy was 50 years, now it is over 70. Do you think this means the sum of all risks must be less than it was? Or, do you feel each time a health risk is eliminated, we simply discover new ones to replace them? 

Discuss things that matter

Talking openly about what's on your mind may seem like a huge risk.  You may be afraid of what others would think.  Would they reject you?  Would they laugh? Would they oppose you? Would their reactions matter to you at all?  The prospect of conflict or competition can be a huge deterrent.  Yet, isolating yourself and keeping quiet isn't typically a fulfilling choice.  Which steps could you take to learn to cope and finally get to the crux of what matters?

You could begin by learning to understand the reasons why approval may be important to you.  If you do not receive a kind of approval from certain people, how does it affect your confidence?  It's time to liberate yourself from narrow forms of expression that could play into your fears.  By changing your inner attitudes, you can learn to overcome fear and realize it compromises your pursuits.

In the Tibetan Art of Serenity, Christopher Hansard offers 7 relevant steps for achievement:

1) Learn how to make decisions that are free from fear, so that your progress shall be clear.

2) Choose pursuits that you love and give them the best that is in you.

3) Seize opportunities based on a clear and serene mind.

4) Learn to live in perfect comfort with your higher levels of power.

5) Know that there are mental and spiritual energies dormant in you that will only wake when there is a need.

6) Be willing to go beyond your limits.

7) Be prepared to fail greatly so that you can achieve greatly.