Urges to respond or not

It's often said that the greatest urge human beings have is actually to be recognized and appreciated.  Do you feel these urges to receive this kind of compassion and attention? Consider whether your primary focus is in yourself or in other things. Do you tend to focus the subjects on you? It's possible to review and live up to your expectations. You have power to shape your life.

In my own life, I've met many people who have developed conditioned reactions to criticism.  A popular reaction is the urge to respond back, often on the defensive. Sensitive people do this.  Perhaps such reactions are familiar to you?  Whether or not you realize it, you can take a kind approach which opposes this urge.  Instead, why not suprise the person who criticizes you and agree with what they say.  This would acknowledge how intelligent and perceptive this person is and recognize him or her as valuable.  You could always expand by re-stating your point of view in a less-threatening way afterward.  If you happen to disagree with the critic, you can still accept it and respect it for what it is. A good rule of thumb is

1) recognize the other person's feelings in a positive way

2) express how you have felt in the past and why

3) identify how the present can positively influence your future (value the critic)

Signposts

When I visited a library today, I was reminded signs exist all around us to indicate we are exactly where we're supposed to be and doing what we're meant to do.

I met people who were searching for meaning in their lives after major life changes.  One man confided to me that he had recently divorced and was struggling to seek out new streams of inspiration.  I spoke with him about the benefits of web blogs and forums. I also suggested books of possible interest.   A woman I met was also seeking ways to stimulate her reflection process.  I was able to help her as well.  Each person I meet who is open to receiving information realizes ideas often come along in their own time.  We simply need to be ready, observant and willing to perceive the things that can help us.  We need to be courageous enough to let go of our fears in order to move ahead.

Even if you don't yet know it, a thought, talent or activity represents who you are at the core in this period of your life.   If you haven't yet found that, clues exist all around you.  As you explore interests and ways you can connect with the world,  you will discover the kinds of things that boost your energy, stimulate your mind, peak your curiosity and inspire your imagination.  Discovering and connecting with such things is a useful practice.  In time, as you feel more comfortable, you can decide how you wish to integrate these things into your life.   

Life stories

When you share chapters of your life with others, you begin to realize that one of your deepest needs is to be heard and valued.  Yet, in order to earn the willing ear of others, to obtain their support and compassion, you also need to be fundamentally honest with yourself about your feelings.  From the point where you take someone on a journey into a place within yourself of vulnerability and authenticity, you create a sense of connection that helps you grow and heal.  Your efforts to share stories help raise awareness in others about what you have endured and learned so they can grow through you and by facing the many obstacles life throws their way.

Consider Nelson Mandela, a South African leader who spent 27 years in prison during Apartheid.  He suffered humiliation and physical hardship, but his story of resilience and human rights inspires people the world over.  He became a meaningful symbol for resistence, freedom and survival.

When news broadcaster Katie Couric lost her 42-year-old husband to colon cancer, she discussed the illness openly and initiated a public awareness campaign. Her efforts resulted in more people talking about their fears and a 20% increase in colonoscopies, a test used to detect colon cancer.

When fomer actor Christopher Reeves was paralyzed after a riding accident, he became an outspoken advocate for physically-challenged individuals and for stem cell research.  This led to issues gaining higher profile in Congress and more people questioning their ethics and motives. 

Child poet and peacemaker Matti Stepanek suffered from a hereditary illness called dysautonomic mitochondrial myopathy. His three older siblings died from this rare form of muscular dystrophy  before him. His mother also suffers from this disease.  By age six, Matti had already written hundreds of poems to promote gratitude, hope and positive thinking.  During his brief life, he became a best-selling author many times over.  He spoke to millions of people to encourage making the most of life, no matter what your cicumstances.

I think of glimpses into the lives of people who aren't famous. Their way of living can inspire me where their behaviour says more about who they are than what they have.  One such person is a Chinese businessman and former missionary. His kind-hearted motives lead him to sacrifice himself and do what it takes to instill hope in people.  I think of relatives, friends, acquaintances and strangers who persevere, who take responsibility and share stories that prove they can defy odds.  These people manage to make positive contributions no matter what obstacles they face.  They enrich their own lives as they encourage and enrich others. This inspires me.

Miracles

The Dalai Lama reminds us that peace and affection are the strongest tools for healing the world and also for strengthening our inner selves.  Yet, how many people believe they can use their minds to create their own miracles? How many people take steps to expand miraculous abilities?

A miracle is "a transgression of a law of nature."  It's something you don't expect to happen, some event meant perhaps to prevent you from becoming too rigid or set in your ways.  We can assume miracles happen.  We may hear about them or, in rare cases, be lucky enough to witness them. What seems normal talent or ability to some people will also seem most extraordinary to others.  

The area of conscious awareness never functions to its potential in a person who refuses to learn.  Only when mentally-prepared will a person be ready to effect or perceive extraordinary events in the physical world and even go so far as to redefine what is humanly possible. 

Consider how athlete Roger Bannister stunned the world by breaking the 4 minute mile.  At the same time, he shattered a psychological barrier. People had said that couldn't be done.  His achievement humbled naysayers and motivated other athletes to redefine limits and potential.

To achieve a high level of spiritual experience, has enabled human beings to heighten their perception; to see, hear and feel what others haven't yet developed the capacities to grasp.  Milrepa was a well-known Buddhist poet and visionary who was supposedly able to fly.  This was apparently a result of the depth and saintly wisdom he achieved in mediation.  Joan of Arc claimed to have been spoken to by God and guided to lead a historic army to save France.  A simple peasant girl, she transformed into an inspirational warrior because she believed she could and she had faith in her destiny.  People still believe in the power of signs and guides.

Miracles happen all the time. As we learn to believe in the potential for something wonderful, we open our senses and begin to appreciate life more.  Each time events occur that surpass all known human or natural powers, they may indicate Divine intervention or supernatural cause.  These events can also inspire us to redefine what is possible in our own lives. We all have abilities to develop ourselves from within, to rethink what we once thought were limits. As you learn to raise your standards, to expand your horizons, to surpass achievements, some people may describe that as 'a miracle.'  If you believe in infinite learning, your view may differ.

True Power

Power means different things to different people. True power may come from serving and helping others who come to respect you. These are the kinds of people who show sincere interest in listening to your views and experiences. They are willing to connect with you and evolve to support you as a person based on your beliefs and actions. You naturally build on and expand yourself as the energy and relationships from others assists you to learn about yourself.

You may also come to believe that power is knowledge or obtained through a position. Yet, if you ignore promises made to others or forget the reasons why you gained the current knowledge, your power loses its intensity and authenticity. When you lose people's trust, when you do not meet your responsibilities, you lose any power associated with the authority or reputation they gave you. John Steinbeck rightly said, "power does not corrupt.  Fear corrupts...perhaps the fear of a loss of power."

Power is rarely associated with a single person. Many people entrust power temporarily to single person who is at least initially regarded as having integrity. When you commit any act, you will reap the appropriate results to balance things. You will grow as you realize the responsibility you hold and the implications of your motivation to obtain power.

Genuine power can emerge when you believe in yourself. It can relate to your karma and intelligence. Whether or not you decide to interact with people and how should be influenced by their receptivity and their attitude. Do they believe in compassion and tolerance? Even if they don't, a heated debate based on genuine motivation can still produce positive results. No matter who you are or what your conditions, you have the power to develop peace of mind within yourself, an altruistic attitude and a sense of global connection and universal responsibility.