Severing views of your history

Undesirable situations in your present are simply perceptions.  They are grounded in a belief about history.  The more you dwell on and share painful stories, the more you add energy to negative feelings and cement a sense of the past.  The essence of being exists beyond them. 

Consider an idea that Carlos Castaneda's teacher, the Nagual Don Juan, told him about what one requires to arrive at the highest level of peace and harmony:

"One day," he said, "I finally realized that I no longer needed a personal history, and just like drinking, I gave it up, and that, and only that, has made all the difference."

Whatever happened in your past is simply a belief.  Watch what happens as you shift attention from that kind of perception  To focus on the present is to know the past is imagined into being. You exert control over how you feel.  Use this time you have to your advantage.

Sever those experiences ona  teimline that evoke restlessness and discomfort.  Let them go such that they no longer control you. Focus on feeling good where you are and know everything emerges based on how you feel.  As you love everything. Life is perfect.  The more you encourage, the more you enrich the world.    Mind invites youto focus attention on the future, tells you the best is yet to come. The heart feels the best is here.  Now choose. 

Tell-tale judgments

Whether or not you realize it, when you judge other people, underneath it all, you are really reflecting being judgmental and non-accepting of yourself. In order to evolve to become less critical of others, you first need to learn to be less hard on yourself.  This is within your reach.

You may mutter under you're breath, "That was stupid of me!" or "How could I be so dumb?"  Maybe you've criticized your forgetfulness or other traits simply because this comes easily.  This could be because you've heard it in movies and read about it in books.  Perhaps you've heard people you know say it to you so often that you've been conditioned in destructive thinking. That's a tell-tale sign. You're in a fantastic position to experience a new kind of freedom. You just may not know this yet. 

From the moment you begin to accept yourself for all that you are, strengths and weaknesses, even perceived imperfections, it is from this point that you will finally start accepting people for who they are. This isn't as difficult as you might initially think. It requires honest self-reflection, a willingness to explore your fears about yourself and a sincere desire to change your attitude.

As an exercise, take out a piece of paper and separate it into two columns. In one column, list those things you like and appreciate about yourself. In the second column, list those things you dislike and desire to change.  As you learn to realize the second column contains stumbling blocks to you getting ahead, you can learn to work though them. Why do you feel as you do? Discover that what people have always told you doesn't have to influence what you think.  Being yourself the key to your happiness. Recognize benefits in every aspect of your character. You can learn things about your past, present and future.  If you have judmental friends or family, this history doesn't have to repeat.  You have power to change the course of your behavior if you choose.

Who pushes your buttons?

As life has it, you meet people who will test your patience. Certain people may seem to try their hardest to annoy you, or to distract you when you prefer to focus on what you see as important. Step back. Reframe situations where people 'press your buttons.' How else could you see them?

If your child knocks on your home office door to ask if you would come to his soccer game or help him with his homework, and you brush him aside, what does this say about your priorities?

If your mother-in-law shows up on your doorstep regularly to impose her advice, and you let her monopolize your time or run your home, what does this say about your assertiveness?

If your office intern always asks questions when you're in the middle of projects, and you lose your temper, what does this say about your role as an effective teacher and mentor?

If your partner is depressed because of losing his job, and he mopes around complaining, and you chose to ignore him, what does this say about your ability to empathize and support him?

If your retired spouse is suddenly under your feet because he doesn't know what to do, and you cancel your regular schedule to suit him, what does this say about your view of 'alone time?'

If someone doesn't understand after you repeat things three times, and you decide to give up rather than try a new approach, what does this say about your faith or belief in that person?

If your boss lies to you, chooses to mistreat other employees and you accept that behavior without reacting, then what does this say about the nature of your principles and ethics?

If someone you know is constantly negative and obnoxious, and you allow yourself to get hostile, what does this say about your ability to show the person compassion they may never have felt?

If an associate has financial problems and constantly takes advantage of your good will, what does this say about your ability to look after yourself or to draw his attention to root causes of issues?

Impatience in any form takes it toll on our physical bodies. It causes stress, raises blood pressure and aggravates the body's organs and immune system. Impatience can rattle your social life too, by straining relationships, and disrupting group activities, but only if you let it.  You always have the opportunity to consider another side to distractions.We can all benefit from learning to see value in other views.

You are in charge of giving your life meaning

The way you perceive yourself and your circumstances reveals whether or not you accept the truth.  Is this what you know or choose to accept? Do you focus on parts of situations or do you actively seek to understand as much as you can of the bigger picture that involves other people?

John F. DeMartini explains that our perceptions "often exaggerate or minimize the truth."  We see what we wish to see, hear what we desire to hear, and selectively draw from our senses based on our own hopes, fears and expectations.  We train ourselves to block out what we'd rather forget.  This kind of behavior doesn't enable us to strengthen our self or get to the crux of who we are. How you feel about things and people are based on your perceptions as well. 

How often do you selectively overlook some of your personal qualities? You may say, that's okay, or it doesn't bother you when underneath it all, that little something has a big impact on the choices you make or how you hold yourself back from things you sincerely hope to achieve. You may fear or condemn based on your own ignorance or on what you'd rather not exert effort to understand. This is your choice, but do you even realize you may be doing this?

The more you open your senses to see and experience some level of good in everything, the more you will realize that you are in charge of giving your life meaning.  The choices you make are ways you seek to convince yourself of your abilities, your potential and your visions of future. How you decide you will view everything that happens will determine what you see.

Consider the film "It's a Beautiful Life." The context of the Nazi concentration camp was not itself uplifting, so how could a director achieve a successful comedy? The protagonist chose how he wished to portray what was happening to his son. The father was so effective, the audience chuckles out of sheer disbelief.

You too can decide how you will perceive the world and your place in it. Whether you choose to better yourself and your circumstances is a first step. If you make this choice, you'll figure out how.

“The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning.” -Mitch Albom

Why do anything?

Why is it that we may feel as if something about us needs to change? Did someone tell you that you weren't perfect? You're not disappointing me.  Perhaps this doesn't matter to you.  You may not have a vision where you wish to be more like others.  That doesn't have to be a problem, unless you make it one.  That begins and ends with your attitude.

I empathize with you. You don't have to make certain choices just to make me or someone else happy.  I will be as real with you as possible.  No facades.  No little white lies.  Just honest me.  I would like you to realize many good experience exist in life.  What is that? You do not know what I mean?

It's not my place to remove your pain or erase your past.  I'm not here to push away the barricades.  These are your responsibilities.  I'm not afraid of you though.  You have no reason to fear me either.  Take the time and space you desire to work things out for yourself.  I encourage you to let go of any pain that holds you back.  I can help you get through this.  I will lend you my ear.  All you need to do is realize you're in charge of figuring out what health and well-being are in your own life now and compare that to what you would like them to be. You can get there!