Redundant and happy?

Many people have urged me to bring up a topic that caught them off guard. These people have discovered that being made redundant has enabled them to change their lives for the better. They don't recommend you do what you can to get fired as part of your route to success, but retrenchment has led to a curious increase in their resourcefulness, motivation and self-directed learning.  It's all based on a choice that begins inside of you. You may not control what happens, but you do control how you react to what happens. Once you realize this, you exert real power.

You don't typically have to go very far to speak with someone who has lost their job. The initial feelings of surprise, anger and disappointment often bring up bitterness and a desire for revenge.  The 'poor me' syndrome and 'why me' victim mentality are also known to influence depression. People who lose their jobs may voice negative feelings, but they may not realize focusing on what you have little or no power to change holds you back from everything you actually do.

One woman in the U.S. voiced her anger to her boss. This employee was unhappy about being let go in downsizing. Being fired initially caused her to feel incapable of caring for herself and her infant son. Yet, after reflection at home, she chose to write her boss a letter of apology. She thanked this boss for hiring and firing her because deep down, she desired to return to school and better her skills. She saw her circumstances offered her the chance to do just that. She found paid work to look after herself and her son, and she came to see being fired as a blessing.

A friend of mine worked on heavy machinery in a coal mine.  When that mine closed, his peers were scared about how they would survive on the settlement packages. The work buddies began to spend their new free time drinking at the local pub and bemoaning their situations. My friend surprised them.  He decided to set out and realize his dream to become a physiotherapist. He discovered ways to apply for loans and to prepare for university entrance exams. He found part-time work to support himself and felt motivated to learn new things for the first time in over 20 years. Today, he works hard in a group practice and community hospital in the United Kingdom.

Regardless of the reasons for being told you're no longer needed in a position, remind yourself you'll always be needed somewhere.  You can decide where this place will be or you can let someone else decide what they think is best for you. It's possible to be made redundant and to see the bright side. Think of all those things you told yourself that you couldn't do because of being restricted in time, mindset and circumstance. All that can change in the blink of an eye.  You have the power to make choices, to make the best of wherever you are. Rather than focus on freedoms you don't have, take steps to redefine the choices that you can and already do.

Holding back or moving forward

Everyone is bombarded with ideas of success. They come from people you know and don't know. You can choose to believe what people say or not. You have freedom to define your own views.

For some people, success is the ability to get out of bed in the morning and to feel as though they have a place to go and things to do there.

For others, success is defined by the ability to be patient and bide their time.

You may think success is explained by preventing yourself from doing what you might regret, or creating a vision of your future and taking steps to make it happen. Examine your feelings.

Whatever you decide, your understanding of success is a way to verify your existence. Moving forward is as much a state of mind as holding yourself back.  You are your own compass.  You orient your direction and you identify your course.  Change your itinerary as you see fit.

What's all the fuss about?

Sometime, in the not too distant past, the general public began to feel as though they had reasons to review their lives, their track record, their views of themselves and the world.  Large numbers of people began to feel as if their lives needed fixing.  Self-help books evolved in droves in identify widespread problems experienced in daily life and their supposed solutions.

Why is it that you may suddenly feel you don't have enough confidence, you don't have a good enough lifestyle, you don't have strong enough relationships, you aren't connected enough to a purpose, you don't spend enough time on people and activities that should mean the most to you? What's all the fuss about? Why do people suddenly accept that what they have isn't good enough?

Steve Salerno wrote a book, "Sham: How the Self-Help Movement made American helpless."   He explains the self-help industry promotes self-criticizing to encourage you to tear yourself down with a goal of building your confidence. Salnero argues this kind of approach to positivity yields questionable results.  Salerno asks why, if 'SHAM' programs and treatments supposedly solve their clients' problems, the industry thrives on repeat customers. Why is the proposed next step, should initial program or treatment fail, new views of the same? In the book's second half, Salerno argues that SHAM does real harm through its influence on love relationships, schooling, and health care.  Although he feels the self-help industry should not be dismissed as "silly but benign," he shows how it undermines the value and techniques of traditional psychology and empowering education.

Each of us may forget that we have the power to decide what is "enough" time or what constitutes our own "success."  Perhaps one of the most challenging things for many of us is to determine what defines balance and fulfillment for us as individuals separate from what other people have or may want us to experience. We can benefit greatly from listening to other people because they will almost always notice details that we miss. However, we can also benefit from learning to listen to ourselves to figure out how we feel and and what we consider to be self-satisfying.

See Feb 16 Oprah: The Secret-- Like attracts like

 Oprah Show

Watch this show- click on the hyperlink.

How do you see and experience your energy? The reality of your life is something that you have created and your thoughts and feelings continue to build on it all the time. Rather than focus on what you don't want, why not focus on the life you seek for and invite it in? What you focus on expands. What are you doing with your energy and attitude to shape your life? Are you a full participant in your life?  After all, you have been given free will.  The choices you make will always have a consequence.  You are accoutnable for the things you do and don't do. You're responsible for your thoughts, hopes and dreams.

You need a vision and clear intentions in order to bring circumstances into your life.  Take action in the direction of where you see yourself.   Take the word "try" out of your vocabulary. This word means effort, failure with honor.

Deciphering ignorance

The Indian Patanjali suggests you need to return to school in order to rise above ignorance and achieve success.  According to him, we may all access useful knowledge in our minds.  It's what we choose to do with this that creates our version of success. Who is given the authority to determine what kinds of facts and skills are more important or more useful than others? What kinds of reasons do you have for accepting a particular hierarchy of steps to success?

If, by drawing from some of your skills, you're able to acquire more money and you desire this, then it may make sense to pursue this avenue.  However, if someone chooses to apply different kinds of knowledge at his disposal, which brings him less money, this individual is not ignorant, though certain cultures would have us believe that intelligence is measured by level of income.  For some people, success is based on feelings, such as a level of accomplishment or satisfaction.

Ignorance can be felt as what Wayne Dyer calls, "falsely identifying oneself as only of the ego-based world."  How can you reframe views of success such that you unlearn your thoughts to separate yourself from cravings and objects you desire? Ignorance prevents you from experiencing success and fulfillment so long as you continue to pursue what appears to provide it rather than find a sense of purpose and success within yourself without doing anything. 

Your senses may influence your view of success by tempting you with things you think you want but don't really need.  Success may involve overcoming certain self-destructive habits, such as over-eating, addictions, focusing on sources of grief, frustration and pain. 

Come waht may, remind yourself that you are not your experiences. You are not the person who thinks he chooses and controls them. A watcher exists beyond all that is perceived. Know values and habits arise as your own illusions. Reflect on your selected activities and what they reveal about your views on success. Ask yourself whether any belief about success is ever spot on.