4 Steps to own disowned anger

During childhood, sometimes certain of our behaviours are judged as unacceptable.  As the result, we are conditioned to fear the consequences of re-enacting them.  Deep down, we develop core beliefs that certain natural responses are bad, wrong or dangerous, and we banish or repress emotions we judge in ourselves rather than allow them to flow. 

If tense muscles and recurrent discomfort in different parts of the body are familliar, there may be more to this than initially imagined.  As we grow more conscious and search through our feelings, it hits anything we attempt to hide or disown in our subconscious silently drives the dynamics of our present. Reflect on 4 steps to begin owning disowned anger:

1. Accept feeling anger is okay  

Some kids are taught anger and negative emotions are bad and to be avoided. We disown emotions as a defense mechanism to protect ourselves from harm or backlash.  Anger may be something we hide from or, it may be a healthy part. Anger is a very common disowned part and deserves attention like all emotions.

2. Recognize the implications

If we disown our anger (or another part of ourselves), it helps to know why we do this as well as the implications.  In the case of disowned anger,  we may also lack assertiveness.Our strength (healthy aggression) also gets disowned along with anger. We may feel unheard in areas of our lives, belittled, not taken seriously, may be perceived as passive, pleasing, self-effacing, or lacking in self-confidence and drive. 

3. Validate all emotions

As we validate all emotions, express them when we feel them, this helps accept anger or another part of us that has been disowned.  We make ourselves what we are.  When we love all parts of ourselves, we believe in ourselves and other people naturally believe in, hear and validate us.  Self-validation is a step to allowing ourselves to change, blossom and share more of our gifts with perfect timing.

4. Develop healthy ways to express intense energy

The more allow ourselves to express intense energy in healthy ways like tantrums, the more we speak our truth, stand up for ourselves in the moment, the more we stand in our power. This involves creating healthy boundaries. The ability to be firm, take risks, be grounded, allows us to feel more alive. As we express how we feel, our inner strength is activated.  Thus, anger rarely arises because we call on our healthy sense of power, forcefulness, and set limits to handle situations. It hits we can be strong and assertive without frightening or harming others.

Pay attention to the signs

Submitted for analysis by Anonymous in Tallinn, Estonia.

Dream- I pulled up to a used car lot driving a fancy sports car. I arrived with the intention of selling what I had and replacing it with something more practical, like a bicycle. Yet, the car salesman was directing his junior colleague.  Both carried an end of a long pole.  In the middle of this pole, a woman hung upside down tied to the stick and her mouth was duct-taped. I could not see her face clearly. The men said I could make an appointment for the following day. I looked away. My instinct was to leave.

Hightlights-  discomfort, fear, impatience, torture, angst

Interpretation- Every dream encourages you to identify objects and themes that stand out. If you choose to view every element of your dream as sending you messages, you still decide what is important for you to notice and examine now.

To drive reminds you who controls direction of every stage of your life, even if you choose to be consciously unaware.  One useful exercise is to view your current conditions from the perspective of every person in your dream. Note dominant and passive personalities as well as the part of you that is forced to keep quiet.  You choose what to muffle or ignore.

The ego is motivated by opportunity to control your life perspective and overall behaviour. When it feels threatened, fear is evoked to keep you where you are. Through mental discipline, you learn to transcend ego control and expand your perspective beyond artificial limits ego creates.

Beliefs are adopted and discarded as you shift consciousness. What you are taught is acceptable or unacceptable may differ from what you feel inside yourself. Priorities and values change when you are ready to adjust perception.  Materialistic practices no longer suit you. Some people are conditioned to resist change, yet you can evolve to see positive sides to it.

The bondage theme draws attention to physical, emotional or other kinds of repression. You o someone else may be tightly controlling what you say or do. Consider what you fear and why you lack confidence.  This image invites you to permit freer, creative expression.  Regardless of perceived conditions, you are only ever a prisoner of the mind. The sexual view of bondage also implies suppressed passions. As you learn to be more honest, you choose to surrender.  Unleash the real you.