4 Steps to own disowned anger

During childhood, sometimes certain of our behaviours are judged as unacceptable.  As the result, we are conditioned to fear the consequences of re-enacting them.  Deep down, we develop core beliefs that certain natural responses are bad, wrong or dangerous, and we banish or repress emotions we judge in ourselves rather than allow them to flow. 

If tense muscles and recurrent discomfort in different parts of the body are familliar, there may be more to this than initially imagined.  As we grow more conscious and search through our feelings, it hits anything we attempt to hide or disown in our subconscious silently drives the dynamics of our present. Reflect on 4 steps to begin owning disowned anger:

1. Accept feeling anger is okay  

Some kids are taught anger and negative emotions are bad and to be avoided. We disown emotions as a defense mechanism to protect ourselves from harm or backlash.  Anger may be something we hide from or, it may be a healthy part. Anger is a very common disowned part and deserves attention like all emotions.

2. Recognize the implications

If we disown our anger (or another part of ourselves), it helps to know why we do this as well as the implications.  In the case of disowned anger,  we may also lack assertiveness.Our strength (healthy aggression) also gets disowned along with anger. We may feel unheard in areas of our lives, belittled, not taken seriously, may be perceived as passive, pleasing, self-effacing, or lacking in self-confidence and drive. 

3. Validate all emotions

As we validate all emotions, express them when we feel them, this helps accept anger or another part of us that has been disowned.  We make ourselves what we are.  When we love all parts of ourselves, we believe in ourselves and other people naturally believe in, hear and validate us.  Self-validation is a step to allowing ourselves to change, blossom and share more of our gifts with perfect timing.

4. Develop healthy ways to express intense energy

The more allow ourselves to express intense energy in healthy ways like tantrums, the more we speak our truth, stand up for ourselves in the moment, the more we stand in our power. This involves creating healthy boundaries. The ability to be firm, take risks, be grounded, allows us to feel more alive. As we express how we feel, our inner strength is activated.  Thus, anger rarely arises because we call on our healthy sense of power, forcefulness, and set limits to handle situations. It hits we can be strong and assertive without frightening or harming others.

11 Tips to embrace change with grace

More and more people are growing aware of changes and opportunities for change are unfolding all around them. 

You may find yourself feeling confused, uncomfortable, getting emotional more often, noticing opportunity for change knocking at your door or change happening without you in different situations.  Consider 11 tips for embacing change with grace:

1) Focus inward

Pay attention to how you are thinking and feeling. Be aware of core beliefs you project are what reflects and your external reality.

2) Notice your emotional triggers

Being aware of your emotional triggers implies not only recognizing when you are triggered, uncovering and healing deeper reasons for them.  This empowers you to create a new reality.

3) Talk less, listen more

Rather than listen with the intent to reply, listen with the intent to understand how you/ people are feeling. This approach offers surprising insight into why it feels easy or hard to go with the flow of change.

4) Validate yourself

Validating yourself is being heartfelt. Listening to the heart means taking more action based on intuition, and having the courage to do what feels right rather than on what you are conditioned to believe is acceptable or would appease others.

5) Invest more in personal development

When spiritual or related programs, workshops, courses, books, videos, coaches or mentoring enter your scope, you are ready.  Its up to you to see the value in investing in yourself and actually commit.

6) Offer workshops or courses

Share insight based on your passion, interest or hobby. Join skillshare, offer your own on-line courses, propose a physical airbnb experience in your local area.  The options are only limited by your imagination. 

7) See everything is connected

What is happening in education, economies, religion and other spheres is all connected.  From the moment you grow more aware of trends and interconnectedness, you begin to see through illusions of separation on a whole new level.

8) Accept yourself

The degree you accept (or reject) yourself is reflected back in every area of your perception and life. As you grow in tolerance and understanding of the world around you, this reflects changing self-acceptance.

9) Love more

As you can begin to find something to appreciate whatever you perceive to be happening, you are beginning to see through your own filters of judgement and negativity. Resistance to change is akin to resisting love.

10) Feel deeper

Feelings are key to understanding yourself and why you choose to suffer, see and create the world as you do. Suppressing feelings is the conditioned way to live.  The more you explore your feelings in the moment and along timelines rather than overlook or deny them, the more you begin to understand yourself and why you accept or resist your destiny in thi s (and other) lifetime (s).

11) Explore breathwork

Consciousness flows through the breath.  Exploring breathwork is a kind of rebirthing process which allows you to gain invaluable insight into how and why you create habits, behaviours and patterns. All of this shapes your perception of Self and the external. It helps you understand your unconscious motives for creating and responding to change. Nothing transforms your life like making the unconscious conscious.