7 Tips to see gifts in your defences

Defences are an ingenious gift we give ourselves.  They are strategies that help us get through adversity, trauma, and even survive.  The child's mind and adult mind have unique ways of dealing with discomfort. In order to master yourself, you need to appreciate and grasp ALL levels of defences.  That is, you have to grow conscious of what you are hiding from and why so the unconscious patterns cease to control your patterns of behaviour and projections. This allows you to form ‘the big picture’ of the way all the levels of defences interplay.  Contact us for session details.  Meanwhile, ponder 7 tips to gain new insight into the nature of your own defences:

1. Grow aware of childhood defence mechanisms

2. Get clear on adult defence tendencies

3. Explore character or personality structures that enable you to survive

4. Identify day-to-day behaviours that are defences in disguise

5. Connect defences with emotional blockages

6. Make shadows conscious & heal them

7. Allow effortless transformation to happen

(We all have a Self-Actualising’ Tendency that comes into play once our ‘blockages’ are removed.  In other words, your dreams realize themselves when you know to get out of your own way)

Colors, like features, follow the changes of emotions.- Pablo Picasso

3 Tips to progress in self-mastery

Mastering Time is mastering your ability to direct attention to and from different focal points.  Some people feel these points as different dimensions, frequencies, vibrations or harmonics.  It is all detection of  energy.  Consider these three tips to move further along your path to self-mastery.

1. Grow aware of conditioning

Awakening from the false reality you create requires you grow aware of how conditioning affects you, how your patterns develop, and act to nip this in the bud.  This invites you to let go of the urge to negative self talk, and release it as it arises.  Otherwise, the conditioned tendencies to judge, control and condition people to fit your models of perception continue.   

2. Re-tell your life story

Everyone has a story.  This is what makes human journeys unique.  Listen closely to yourself as you share your own.  Notice whether the voice recounting the story comes from the vibration of judgement or is it coming from a place of unconditional love? Peace and harmony occur naturally in an environment of unconditional love.  Once you love yourself unconditionally, you forgive others an yourself, so you can accept others as they are.

3. Accept what you say is right and wrong

The perception of whomever is listening determnes the validity of what you say, based on their point of view.  We are each responsible for the integrity and clarity of what we express.  We are not responsible for what others hear and feel because we do not control their perception.

5 Tips to master yourself

Its common to feel unfulfilled and also to underestimate your power to change.  Do you ever wonder if this life has more to offer, and if so, how to get a handle on it?  It is the perfect moment to pay closer attention.

Only as you get to know yourself inside out does the bigger picture begin to take shape.   Only then are you in position to consciously transform. Consider 5 tips to master yourself (or at least begin the process):

1. Notice the monkey mind

The monkey mind is engaged in imitating or distracting.  As long as the mind clings to belief, copies and adopts what it sees, it creates and perpetuates its own prison. An unestablished mind is highly influenced, ungrounded and unable to see clearly. Conscious attention is shifted to focus on unnecessary moments or situations.  Thoughts and emotions can escalate, disrupt natural balance and feeling centered.

2. Grow aware of unconscious behavior

Stepping back allows observing your own unconscious behavior.  This is about witnessing how you behave when you think nobody is watching. This is not about judging.  Its about simply growing aware of what you are doing and the underlying reasons or conditioning for it.  Being compassionate helps it grow clearer how you inhabit space. You may choose to videotape yourself and watch it play back. What is apparent?

3. Read your body language

Your body is the physical embodiment or manifestation of your unconscious attitudes, intents and desires.   Observe yourself when alone and with others. How do you sit? What is your posture? Do you lean or slouch?How do you carry your head and the rest of your body? Observations tell you about your attitudes, intents and desires.  How you move, and where you place yourself in relation others, says a lot.

4. Deepen the personal inventory

Branch out from mental chatter, body language and verbal communication. Ask yourself, how and why am I showing up?  Am I typically expressive, well-spoken or at a loss for words?  Am I allowing a range of emotions to flow though and be expeirenced or I am limiting my feelings? Am I generally active or passive? Do I appear confident?    Keep a daily diary of what stands out and also what is changing.

5. Create a well-established mind

A well-established mind  has a handle on the four directions of an integrated system. This whole system includes your mind, your body, your emotions, your energies.  When your thougths, words and actions are in harmony, you experience harmony in your external perception.

12 Ways to master your fear

Resistance is fear in disguise. It has the power to stop you dead in your tracks, stagnate your growth, limit your perception and understanding. Notice specific experiences you reach for or deny yourself right now. Whenever you say you postpone anything, far more is going on.  

Hesitation is fear in action. Fear arises when something threatens your comfort zone. You may tell yourself you do not have the time, the money, the freedom, the right mindset, adequate insight, to take advantage of what is presenting. Its all fear taking shape as excuses. Telling yourself why you cannot do something simply reinforces the fear that holds you hostage. The moment is here to address this and move through it.  

Review these 12 ways to master your fear:

1. Shift focus from the future

Your fear is always about assumptions on what’s going to happen next. Thus, your fear is always about that which does not exist. If your fear is about the non-existent, your fear is completely unfounded, imaginary. The future is always pointing and guiding you to the present moment where intuition is the most reliable guide. If you have the urge to act, fear only holds you back if you are unconscious to the mind's tricks.

2. Decide why you are here

You must decide whether you are on this planet to experience life or avoid life. If you exist to experience life, intensity is required. Without it, you are not living fully. Using fear as a tool to protect yourself reduces the energy flow available to you to create. Once the visceral is gone, you are no longer really living.  You only live based on mental ideas or heresay. You cannot experience anything fantastic and ecstatic.  When you are fearful, you cannot experience wild abandon. You cannot sing, dance, laugh, cry, fall inor lose yourself in love. You cut yourself off from what makes you feel alive. You only sit, grieve, regret not taking risks. 

3. Get comfortable with the unknown

Admit it.  You are taught to feel comfortable with the familliar, with what is predictable, or  perceived 'normal' though no such thing exists.  The more you accept life is energy in motion where nothing is permanent or predictable, the more you realize you are living with the unknown every moment and doing just fine. Be conscious of this and watch your perception of fear transform into excitement about the unknown.

4.  Let go of the urge to control

HUmans are taught that unless we can exert control, we must fear. But is it possible to ever have control? Even if you can swim, you can drown. A professional musician or experienced chef can still make mistakes. Give up the illusion of control, and you are free.

5.  Surrender

Surrender to what is is powerful, even if it seems 'way out there.' because as long as we try to change what is, we allow the mind's filtered version of reality convince us that is real.  In doing so, we cut oursleves off from far more.

6. Get rooted in reality

When you are not rooted (grounded) in reality, suffering happens. Suffering is always about that which does not exist.  When not rooted in reality, you are always rooted in your mind. Mind is – one part of it is memory, another part of it is imagination. Both of them are in one way imagination, because both of them don’t exist right now. You’re lost in your imagination, that’s the basis of your fear. If you were rooted in reality, there would be no fear.  If you are suffering the non-existential, we call that insanity. So, people may be in just socially accepted levels of insanity, but if you’re afraid or if you’re suffering anything which does not exist, it amounts to insanity,

7. Consult a Life Coach 

Do you fear success or fear failure? A good life coach can help you examine what you truly want from life, and guides you to pinpoint the true origin of your fears. Its crucial to be clear on what you really want and what is actually holding you back.  Commit to loving the process.

8. Read & Listen

Reading a book, scanning relevant webpages or listening to podcasts that touch on your specific fear can open new doors on how you can get rid of it. Access motivational and inspirational work or glimpses of workshops about topics you recognize you are avoiding.

9. Get into the flow

Inactivity can be a sign from your inner guidance system telling you that you still have preparation to do. If you tell yourself you cannot do something due lack of income, it helps to see everything as the flow of the same energy.  Taking action to generate income begins with loving yourself and being true to who you are. Loving more, doing what you love and seeing everything as energy in motion, allows flow to happen. 

10. Watch films & Youtube videos

Watching a movie, documentary or Youtube videos can be eye-opening. Sometimes it’s nice to distract yourself from your fear, but if you really want to, you can find loads of movies on the fear you’re dealing with and empower yourself to see your fear from a completely new perspective.

11. Identify the lesson

Fears are pointers to lessons we create for soul growth. Overcoming fear involves learning related lessons and moving ahead.  The Path of life is about identifying lessons, accepting and expressing more of yourself. This shapes all areas of your life; relationships, career, and far more.

12. Model a master

Connect with a person or people who have experienced the fear you have and also moved beyond it.  Spend time with them, ask how they did it, and explore whether this approach could work for you.  Discuss the nature of the process. You can learn a lot about yourself and the emerging master within.

4 Ways to increase self-esteem

Many reasons exist why clients hire mentors (coaches).  Individualized program design, accountability, time management, and soulwork have increasing appeal.  Clarifying and aligning with core values, career/ business transitions, moving from headspace to heartspace, intuitive guidance, are also key. Whatever your reason, you are here to clarify more about yourself.

Coaches exist to help clients believe in themselves, to reinforce high self worth. In order to be effective, a mentor has to have high self-worth.  Working toward more consistent self-acceptance and self-worth often arises as a core major focus of coaching. A person’s attitudes, abilities, and cognitive skills make up what is known as the self-system. This system plays a key role in how we perceive situations and how we respond to different situations or opportunities.

Anyone with high self-esteem (self-worth):

• View challenges as tasks to be mastered (is solution-oriented)
• Develops deeper interest in heartfelt activities (increasingly intuitive) 
• Commits to what matters with confidence
• Visualizes and feels the way into new realities

Anyone with low self-esteem:

• Avoids or feels disheartened by challenges 
• Imagines and focuses on reasons why something is unreachable
• Focus on personal failings and negative outcomes 
• Lacks confidence in personal abilities

If you wish to increase self-esteem, you must respond to the world like someone with high self esteem. Ponder four ways to increase (and stabilize) self esteem;

1. Choose to Master Experiences

This is about focusing energy and attention, performing to the best of your ability, knowing you are. Visualizing and feeling realized dreams in this moment strengthens self esteem and brings them into your scope of awareness and experience. This is an exercise in vibrating like a master, convincing yourself of what already is.

2. Select Role Models (or Blaze a Trail)

Witnessing other people successfully completing a task is important inspiration for increasing self-esteem. Seeing other people succeed via sustained effort, it inspires observers that they can do the same. 

3. Increase Awareness of Self-Talk

Talk to yourself regularly in ways that reinforce you have what it takes. Recall encouragement that helped you achieve a goal. Ask people to support your intentions.  This empowers you to believe in any task at hand.  

4. Psychological Responses

Our own responses and emotional reactions to situations influence self-esteem. Moods, emotional states, physical reactions and stress levels all contribute to what a person feels is realistic or doable in a particular situation. By learning to envision success and feel the experience in the present is what creates a comparable reality.  This strengthens and stabilizes self-esteem. You have to tell yourself how it feels to already be doing what another part of you is working toward.