13 Situations where we ought to speak up

(Image: Human Energy Field- visionary art by Alex Grey)

Many people have heard phrases like “Silence is golden” and “Silence speaks louder than words.” And yet, situations also arise when not speaking up is not in our best interest and can also be detrimental to others.

This article invites reflection on 13 situations that invite us to recognize speaking up is important, desirable and in the interest of the greater good.  Knowing the best course is about learning to tune into our vibration and watch signs and signals within us. May this inspire each of us to step back and review what can feel like tricky situations. Self-mastery involves systematically mastering our fears. 

1) When we witness injustice

When we see someone is treated unfairly or unjustly, we ought to know deep down silence is not an option.  Whether it’s at work, in public, or even among friends, standing by and doing nothing makes us complicit in the injustice.  It takes courage to speak up, especially if the person acting unjustly is a partner, family member or perceived authority.  We each matter. What we say matters. Validating others and their rights is like validating ourselves.  Candidly sharing can inspire others to also listen to their gut and say what they feel.

2) When our boundaries are being crossed

Moments arise when people, intentionally or unintentionally, cross our boundaries or those around us.  It might be through words, actions or even invading personal space. Many people know what it is to stay silent, thinking they don’t want to create a scene or get on someone’s bad side.  Yet, I’ve come to realize my peace of mind is paramount.  Respecting myself not only alleviates discomfort.  It also ensures my boundaries are respected. Yet for my boundaries to be respected, I must first clearly define them.

3) When something is unclear

Many people seek clarity.  At the same time, they may act as if they know or understand things they do not.  I’ve been in meetings and personal situations when what’s being discussed is confusing or unclear.  It’s easy to feel embarrassed and just nod along, pretending to understand. Yet, I’ve found that asking for clarification shows courage, open-mindedness, and willingness to learn.  That does not necessarily mean I always get clear on everything, Yet, If we say nothing, we stay in the dark. Instead, make room to let light in.

4) When our health is at stake

Well-being is a given yet how we experience health in the body, varies.  True health and balance depend on being in harmony with our soul.  Life experience has taught me to tune into the heart for guidance.   Although self-care may be effective and beneficial at times, there are situations where I speak up and reach for external expertise. In health matters, silence is not an option.  If I have a serious physical wound that is bleeding, or require surgery, I get things properly treated. I am open to discussing symptoms with specific practitioners,  expressing discomfort to a fitness instructor or friends who relate.  It’s easy to ignore signs until that no longer resonates with conscious living.  

5) When our values are compromised

Certain situations arise that challenge our sense of taboo or compromise of our values.  Whether it’s at work, in relationships, or even casual interactions, I’ve been in situations that turn out not to align with my core values.  Tempting as it might be to keep silent to maintain peace or avoid conflict, I’ve learned that this can lead to regret and resentment.  As the way I live my life is my message, I work toward transparency to encourage others to work though their own layers of unconscious dishonesty. Hence, it’s crucial for me to shift situations when my values are disrespected, standing firm in my convictions while also promoting understanding.

6) When we feel unsafe

Safety is a tricky one. This may seem obvious but it is not. Earlier in life, I found myself in situations in school, workplaces and elsewhere where I was bullied and due to fear of authority, injury, or undesirable consequences, I chose not to speak up when I felt unsafe.  Fear of safety led me to allow others to exert power over me.  Of course, we are generally taught not to put ourselves in harm's way.  Yet the mind can interfere. As we grow in wisdom and maturity, this allows seeing things from new perspectives.  I am systematically working through this and empower others to do so. It helps to take the personal out of situations, to reflect on universal principles and make decisions based on what is for the greater good not based on what ego would have us do or not do.

7) When someone we care about is hurting

During our life journeys, we encounter situations where people we care for deeply are going through a tough time, mentally, emotionally, physically, perhaps living with the memory of having done something they regret. If we truly see this, feels it, we are aware of it, both the inward sorrow, as well as the outward sorrow. Then, only one option exists-we must respond, one has to solve it, one can't just sit by and do nothing.  Of course, it may be  tempting to remain silent, assuming they need space or fearing that we might say the wrong thing.  However, I’ve discovered that reaching out and expressing concern and support can make a difference.  It’s not about proposing ot solve their problems. it’s about reminding them they’re not alone.   Sometimes, it is reassuring to feel supported.  At the same time, its also important to recognize we are not responsible for the choices other people make or do not make. 

8) When we are hurting

To feel is what makes us human. Pain is physical, suffering is mental.  Self-worth can be affected. At times, I’ve chosen to keep difficult feelings to myself.  I’ve put up a facade, pretending I could handle it all.  But I’ve learned that silence can amplify my suffering.  Being honest about my feelings, reaching out for help when it feels right, has been one of the hardest yet most liberating things I’ve done.  Turns out, vulnerability is strength. In some situations, to admit that we not okay is a big step towards deep healing.

9) When our ideas can make a difference

Some of the biggest innovations have come from unexpected ideas?  For instance, the idea for the Post-It notes came from a 3M engineer who thought of using a weak adhesive for bookmarks.  To doodle or generate ideas invites brainstorning and expanding on what inspires us.  Our ideas could be the next big thing, or might resolve a situation that’s been bothering loads of people.  Remember, thought and the courage to voice it is what changes our reality.  

10) When we are treated unfairly

Discrimination and other mistreatment are more widespread than often realized. I recall a period in my life when I was working for a few different employers who had favorites and exploited me.  It wasn’t initially overt, but the subtle biases were felt.  I was often overlooked for opportunities for which I was just as qualified. In some cases, I was underpaid for my work.   At first, I brushed it off, thinking it was all in my head. But as time passed, the pattern grew more evident.  It took courage, but I finally voiced my concerns.  Those employers did not always see the same way as I did.  I was let go in one case and threatened by others. Things didn’t change immediately.  Yet, I began to see a shift in myself which led me to create situations where I was treated well.  The lesson here is, if you feel you’re being treated unfairly, don’t suffer in silence.  We deserve to be heard and treated with respect. Life is a mirror for how we treat ourselves.

11) When silence hurts more than words

We’ve all had moments in our lives when we chose silence, hoping it would save us from confrontation or pain.  But sometimes, silence hurts more than words.  I remember a time when I had a falling out with a friend. Instead of talking it out, we both chose silence. As days turned into a longer period, the distance grew. It took a lot of courage and swallowing of pride to finally break the silence and mend the friendship.

12) When dreams are guiding us

The more we develop drem recall and explore possible meanings in our dreams, the clearer it is we are often giving ourselves soul-level guidance from about how to manage situations in the physical world.   Exploring dream recall tips and writing down what we remember is a helpful way forward.

13) When you experience (or witness) a conflict of interest

Conflicts of interest happen when people acting in professional roles of authority as well as in personal roles that compromise our position and vulnerability.  For example, its unwise (and unethical) to get romantically involved with our boss or a anyone who exercises authority over us. Its also not in our best interest to share deeply intimate details of a colleague or co-worker who could take advantage of that information. This is about creating or reinforcing boundaries.

In closing, if you’re in a situation where silence is causing more damage than good, it’s time to speak up. The words might be hard to say but remember, healing starts with a conversation.

Choose love over judgement

The feeling of being in harmony with our surroundings may seem harder when among people or living our day-to-day lives.  The peacefulness of a nature walk, soothing meditation or centred yoga practice may wear off. Is the mind quick to analyze, group, compare, and label everything?

Although the comparison game takes us out of the stream of well-being, comparing serves a useful purpose.  It helps us grow aware of our preferences.  They create new desires in us which fuel joy and excitement.  This kind of energy propels us forward to create new realities.

Contrasts are part of what makes earth what it is.  What is important is to be aware of how to be connected to Source and not controlled by negative emotions and judgements.  Its part of a process to come to recognize changes in the body and behaviour and coming to connect them to changing thoughts, beliefs and perception. 

Before making a choice, tune into the energy surrounding it. Ask whether the urge to change relationships, career, circumstances comes from the desire to escape or avoid something or to embrace something new. Then, allow seeing everything as energy.  Feel forcefully pushed or conditioned in a certain direction?, or maybe a gentle nudge like the wind on the back. As we choose love more consistently over fear, we are subtly shifting our energy vibration, perception and reality.  We are expanding into new potential.  Each of us decides what and how to see.

7 Dimensions to Breathe into wellness

Many people have heard that mastering the rhythm and power of the breath is the key to optimal health and well-being.  Yet, fewer are familliar with the dimensions of wellness and the ways each one is positively affected by breathwork. Feeling a spark of curiousity growing within?

Turns out, our breath is the energetic stream in the background that shows us everything is interconnected.  What if we could be guided through breathing sessions that empower us to see, feel and release our own blocks? What if we are primed to feel more love, joy, balance and realize greater potential naturally? What if the experience of pure freedom is closer than we think? What if we are missing something and this makes things seem harder than they are? What if we could align the conscious with the subconscious mind and let go of what we outgrow?

Thoughts, feelings, beliefs and emotions are in a perpetual dance. Thoughts and beliefs lead to emotions. Our feelings and emotions shape our thoughts, and other areas of life. We cannot affect one without affecting all. As we uncover origins of our negative self-talk and unconscious behaviours, and shift, our emotions and conditions shift. As we honor our feelings, voices of anger or fear diminish.  Ponder 7 dimensions to breathe into more holistic wellness;

1. Physical
2. Emotional 
3. Mental 
4. Social 
5. Financial 
6. Intellectual 
7. Spiritual 

5 Tips to reach deeper fulfillment

Perceived lack of fulfillment is one reason people take up new training, aspire for promotion, shift job or career or re-evaluate relationships. Restlessness triggers desire for change. Without realizing it, we create barriers to our own career progress.  As you muse over options, reflect on underlying reasons for your own choices.  Ponder these five tips to reach deeper fulfillment:

1) Shift your perspective

Rather than limit yourself to an area of job or career, shift to a wellness model.  Get in touch with what enables you to feel good about yourself. Career isn’t something to reflect on or change during crisis. Discover what career wellness is and make it your norm. You can avoid some crises, and definitely be better equipped to deal with any that occur.  All-the-while, what you gather experientially, and intellectually, none of this is you. The question of being peaceful, joyful or fulfilled only arises from ego. When you conduct your life by accident, or simply do what ego tells you, life is not fulfilling. As you live more consciously, you realize no accidents exist, only unconscious choices.  Functionning unconsciously is unfulfilling, no matter what you do. As you can get to know yourself, choose jobs or careers consciously, being in a heartfelt place happens. 

2) Let go of self-centredness

When ecstatic, you do not wonder what your life purpose is or seek fulfillment.  All questions about that come from burdonsomeness, restlessness, discontent.  The height of human ego is to assume existence is human-centred, that God has some hidden purpose for you to fulfill. Rather than ask why misery? Shift to ask how to transcend your misery. The path to fulfillment is not what you think. You feel the way, notice synchronicities, trust intuition, make fears conscious and master them.

3) Be open to new ways of seeing

If something is not yet in your experience, you are forced to believe or disbelieve.  When someone chooses to believe or disbelieve outside of their experience, they have a positive or negative story to tell. Assumptions and stories do not bring fulfillment. Seeing directly does. Practical experience in all sorts of settings evokes fulfillment.  Allow yourself to step outside your comfort zone. Do what makes you feel alive.

4) Stop the self-torture 

Happiness is neither easy nor difficult. You need not manage happiness. Simply learn to manage your faculties. Memory and imagination set you apart from other creatures.  You reflect on the past and project into the future. People seeking fulfillment suffer from effects of memory and imagination. Rather than seek happiness, or link it to another job or degree, notice how you are conducting your faulties. If you give your power away, somebody can cause you to get angry or unhappy.  How you think and feel are up to you.  Notice personality is not SELF. Personality is largely unconscious, a little bit conscious. Content of the mind is acquired. What is not acquired from outside is called SELF. Physical body and mind are software and hardware.  What is inside is undeniably here yet often overlooked. Concentrate here and watch what happens.

5) Focus on inner well-being

If you are truly interested in your life, pay closer attention to what goes on within you rather than what is happening outside. Right now, your physical and emotional needs are passing needs. It is not a question of what is inferior and superior, it is a matter of doing what feels right for you at a given moment.  This changes.  Focusing on inner well-being happens as you begin to understand what happens in the external world is a reflection of your inner world. What you want is what is happening within you already but you overlook it.  To focus on inner-well being, some striving is required. In body and content of mind, in personalities, in memories, we are different, yet the SELF, the essential me, everybody is the same. Realisation means something already here is recognized.  This is not an achievement or an accomplishment.  You do not make up or earn fulfillment. It is not something you feel based on what you do. Rather, it is core state of being like love and success that you fail to recognize and accept until ready. Only then do you feel truly fulfilled. 

Be happy now

At the centre of your being, you are happy to be you.  You are glad to be the way you are at this moment and you are happy about what is arising.  You see the path to the answer you require.  You know who you are and you are exploring unique forms of self expression.  Every choice you make is pointing to what it is to live authentically.  As you reflect here, you are feeling better and better and begin to notice your healthy sheen.  Notice the nature of stepping stones in your life. Insight is speaking to and through you.  Notice what you see and what is expanding.  Everything is a teacher.

"We must never forget that it is through our actions, words and thoughts that we have a choice."-Sogyal Rinpoche