13 Situations where we ought to speak up

(Image: Human Energy Field- visionary art by Alex Grey)

Many people have heard phrases like “Silence is golden” and “Silence speaks louder than words.” And yet, situations also arise when not speaking up is not in our best interest and can also be detrimental to others.

This article invites reflection on 13 situations that invite us to recognize speaking up is important, desirable and in the interest of the greater good.  Knowing the best course is about learning to tune into our vibration and watch signs and signals within us. May this inspire each of us to step back and review what can feel like tricky situations. Self-mastery involves systematically mastering our fears. 

1) When we witness injustice

When we see someone is treated unfairly or unjustly, we ought to know deep down silence is not an option.  Whether it’s at work, in public, or even among friends, standing by and doing nothing makes us complicit in the injustice.  It takes courage to speak up, especially if the person acting unjustly is a partner, family member or perceived authority.  We each matter. What we say matters. Validating others and their rights is like validating ourselves.  Candidly sharing can inspire others to also listen to their gut and say what they feel.

2) When our boundaries are being crossed

Moments arise when people, intentionally or unintentionally, cross our boundaries or those around us.  It might be through words, actions or even invading personal space. Many people know what it is to stay silent, thinking they don’t want to create a scene or get on someone’s bad side.  Yet, I’ve come to realize my peace of mind is paramount.  Respecting myself not only alleviates discomfort.  It also ensures my boundaries are respected. Yet for my boundaries to be respected, I must first clearly define them.

3) When something is unclear

Many people seek clarity.  At the same time, they may act as if they know or understand things they do not.  I’ve been in meetings and personal situations when what’s being discussed is confusing or unclear.  It’s easy to feel embarrassed and just nod along, pretending to understand. Yet, I’ve found that asking for clarification shows courage, open-mindedness, and willingness to learn.  That does not necessarily mean I always get clear on everything, Yet, If we say nothing, we stay in the dark. Instead, make room to let light in.

4) When our health is at stake

Well-being is a given yet how we experience health in the body, varies.  True health and balance depend on being in harmony with our soul.  Life experience has taught me to tune into the heart for guidance.   Although self-care may be effective and beneficial at times, there are situations where I speak up and reach for external expertise. In health matters, silence is not an option.  If I have a serious physical wound that is bleeding, or require surgery, I get things properly treated. I am open to discussing symptoms with specific practitioners,  expressing discomfort to a fitness instructor or friends who relate.  It’s easy to ignore signs until that no longer resonates with conscious living.  

5) When our values are compromised

Certain situations arise that challenge our sense of taboo or compromise of our values.  Whether it’s at work, in relationships, or even casual interactions, I’ve been in situations that turn out not to align with my core values.  Tempting as it might be to keep silent to maintain peace or avoid conflict, I’ve learned that this can lead to regret and resentment.  As the way I live my life is my message, I work toward transparency to encourage others to work though their own layers of unconscious dishonesty. Hence, it’s crucial for me to shift situations when my values are disrespected, standing firm in my convictions while also promoting understanding.

6) When we feel unsafe

Safety is a tricky one. This may seem obvious but it is not. Earlier in life, I found myself in situations in school, workplaces and elsewhere where I was bullied and due to fear of authority, injury, or undesirable consequences, I chose not to speak up when I felt unsafe.  Fear of safety led me to allow others to exert power over me.  Of course, we are generally taught not to put ourselves in harm's way.  Yet the mind can interfere. As we grow in wisdom and maturity, this allows seeing things from new perspectives.  I am systematically working through this and empower others to do so. It helps to take the personal out of situations, to reflect on universal principles and make decisions based on what is for the greater good not based on what ego would have us do or not do.

7) When someone we care about is hurting

During our life journeys, we encounter situations where people we care for deeply are going through a tough time, mentally, emotionally, physically, perhaps living with the memory of having done something they regret. If we truly see this, feels it, we are aware of it, both the inward sorrow, as well as the outward sorrow. Then, only one option exists-we must respond, one has to solve it, one can't just sit by and do nothing.  Of course, it may be  tempting to remain silent, assuming they need space or fearing that we might say the wrong thing.  However, I’ve discovered that reaching out and expressing concern and support can make a difference.  It’s not about proposing ot solve their problems. it’s about reminding them they’re not alone.   Sometimes, it is reassuring to feel supported.  At the same time, its also important to recognize we are not responsible for the choices other people make or do not make. 

8) When we are hurting

To feel is what makes us human. Pain is physical, suffering is mental.  Self-worth can be affected. At times, I’ve chosen to keep difficult feelings to myself.  I’ve put up a facade, pretending I could handle it all.  But I’ve learned that silence can amplify my suffering.  Being honest about my feelings, reaching out for help when it feels right, has been one of the hardest yet most liberating things I’ve done.  Turns out, vulnerability is strength. In some situations, to admit that we not okay is a big step towards deep healing.

9) When our ideas can make a difference

Some of the biggest innovations have come from unexpected ideas?  For instance, the idea for the Post-It notes came from a 3M engineer who thought of using a weak adhesive for bookmarks.  To doodle or generate ideas invites brainstorning and expanding on what inspires us.  Our ideas could be the next big thing, or might resolve a situation that’s been bothering loads of people.  Remember, thought and the courage to voice it is what changes our reality.  

10) When we are treated unfairly

Discrimination and other mistreatment are more widespread than often realized. I recall a period in my life when I was working for a few different employers who had favorites and exploited me.  It wasn’t initially overt, but the subtle biases were felt.  I was often overlooked for opportunities for which I was just as qualified. In some cases, I was underpaid for my work.   At first, I brushed it off, thinking it was all in my head. But as time passed, the pattern grew more evident.  It took courage, but I finally voiced my concerns.  Those employers did not always see the same way as I did.  I was let go in one case and threatened by others. Things didn’t change immediately.  Yet, I began to see a shift in myself which led me to create situations where I was treated well.  The lesson here is, if you feel you’re being treated unfairly, don’t suffer in silence.  We deserve to be heard and treated with respect. Life is a mirror for how we treat ourselves.

11) When silence hurts more than words

We’ve all had moments in our lives when we chose silence, hoping it would save us from confrontation or pain.  But sometimes, silence hurts more than words.  I remember a time when I had a falling out with a friend. Instead of talking it out, we both chose silence. As days turned into a longer period, the distance grew. It took a lot of courage and swallowing of pride to finally break the silence and mend the friendship.

12) When dreams are guiding us

The more we develop drem recall and explore possible meanings in our dreams, the clearer it is we are often giving ourselves soul-level guidance from about how to manage situations in the physical world.   Exploring dream recall tips and writing down what we remember is a helpful way forward.

13) When you experience (or witness) a conflict of interest

Conflicts of interest happen when people acting in professional roles of authority as well as in personal roles that compromise our position and vulnerability.  For example, its unwise (and unethical) to get romantically involved with our boss or a anyone who exercises authority over us. Its also not in our best interest to share deeply intimate details of a colleague or co-worker who could take advantage of that information. This is about creating or reinforcing boundaries.

In closing, if you’re in a situation where silence is causing more damage than good, it’s time to speak up. The words might be hard to say but remember, healing starts with a conversation.

Allow it to happen

Kundalini is a buzzword many people aspire to. Its the byproduct of spiritual advancement. In the West, people are taught to be ego-driven, self-centred, to focus on the goal, prize or destination rather than the path to get there. People are widely unaware of the reasons behind the process, its origins, and the collective motive for doing it. It is about contributing to evolving humanity. It was originally part of an initiation process. The energy generated here allows the mythical phoenix to arise from the ashes. 

An energetic view is its the rising of consciousness through chakras.  The cakra (Sanskrit) means “wheel” and refers to energy points in your body. They are thought to be spinning disks of energy that stay “open” unless blocked. The life force is a symbolic flow of energy that can rise in a very gradual and smooth process which is the natural course of things for some beings.  In ancient times, when one had a guide through processes, it was the traditional reflection of maturity and development. It can result naturally and spontaneously from living a pure and wholesome life.  Yet, in modern day, this is a rarity.

Many people are familliar with the Purusharthas (inherent values of the Universe: Artha (economic values) Kama (pleasure), Dharma (righteousness), and Moksha (liberation).

At a spiritual level, the Purusharthas are the blueprint for human fulfillment. Being mindful a satisfying, balanced, a meaningful life at the deepest, most holistic level of life. They offer a way of keeping you 'above board' so you make sound decisions. Knowing soulful goals brings meaning to your spiritual practice.

Purushartha implies “for the purpose of the divine Self. Take a moment and ask yourself, ‘Am I managing my life in a way to support my spiritual growth?’ and ‘What do I really, really want at the level of my Soul?’”

Consciousness opens or unfolds your potentiality relevant to where you are in life.  Issues arise if people take steps to rush this process.  For example, engage in intense spritual practices without proper preparation, purification and guidance is risky.  Without the proper containment of energy, guidance and interpretation of what is happening within, it can create more issues that you start with. In some cultures, a person is apprenticed to a master and goes through the process at a suitable pace for a disciple. 

Yet, in modern times, with access to the Internet and bombardments of information, people often work on their own without background insights. The ego would have us believe that we do not require external teachers or gurus.  To take a substance or engage in practices on a whim might evoke extreme experiences, but not everyone is equipped to intergrate that. Some people take drugs or intensify practices and  get shaken up without anyone to guide them. So, if the process does not unfold naturally,  the issue is never consciousness or kundalini energy, but the state of receptiveness of the body vessel. What happens sometimes is people attempt to get somewhere they have not created an energetic basis to sustain.

My own process has involved opening myself to progressively more intense flows of energy.  To simply have energy flowing without blockages would be pure bliss (satchitananda). However, trembling typically reaches a hiatus where a person cannot handle any more charge or electrical flow and must then take a rest. The process may then, in due time, begin again.

To surrender to the flow allows it to flow down through the crown, integrate all the koshas into harmony. This energy is divine intelligence, knows precisely what you need for soul evolution.  Some blockages are shaken out through kriyas (body's spontneous movements). We are invited to feel into discomfort, relax to allow energy  to flow freely.  Does the pain have a memory or emotion attached to it? One may lead to flashes of others as part of the process of releasing blockages. Does the intensity flowing through have a sound? Release it.

In Kundalini meditation, you can work to awaken this energy, go through your process and achieve enlightenment through a combination of techniques, including:

1. deep breathing (breathwork)
2. mudras (hand movements)
3. mantras (phrases)
4. physical movements (kriyas)

10 Points to accelerate positive change

Its common to wish to accelerate life change but how to do this effectively is often misunderstood. Change does not happen in proportion to the amount of physical effort you exert. 

The pace of change unfolding in your life reflects how well you understand everything is energy, frequency and vibration in motion and put this insight into practice.   Consider these 10 tips to accelerate positive change in your life:

1. Allow yourself to focus on the bright side
2. See the dark side points to what blocks more joy 
3. Accept personal responsibility for how you feel
4. Establish healthy boundaries
5. Practice forgiveness & appreciation
6. Live in harmony with your values
7. Use time wisely
8. Be a pioneer
9. Exercise the imagination regularly
10. Surrender to your intuition more often

7 Ways to revive & revitalize

When you sense you feel restless in a set of particular conditions, its important to ground yourself or at the very least, identify what would ground you.  This is a process to pinpoint 7 ways to revive and revitalize. These are sample areas coaching can assist you to

1. Body Awareness- Pay attention to your body and physical sensation

2. Nature Awareness- Spend time in Nature & learn to sense differently

3. Activity Awareness- Review your priorities

4. Mental Awareness- Discover how to truly listen to yourself

5. Soul Awareness- Pinpoint values and alignment or misalignment

6. Feeling Awareness- Tune into feelings & express in this moment

7.  Absolute Awareness- Take Steps to expand perception

4 Tips to be more authentic

All too often, people are taught to exert effort to identify and pursue a career based on standardized test scores and external guidance that tell you what is best or right for you. Sound familliar? Maybe you have gone down this road and something about your current focus does nto feel right? 

What if from before birth, you are on a collision course with what matters to the Soul? What if authenticity is about recognizing what drives you, understanding emotional blocks and mental filters that prevent you from seeing?  Consider five tips to be more authentic:

1) Get to the root

The true meaning of authenticity is in its Latin root, which means "author".  Thus, being "authentic" is not being honest about who you are, but rather, about being conscious you author-create your life. Authenticity is both active and creative process. It's not about revealing something, but building a vision of you.

2) Align with the soul

As you do some soul searching and better understand yourself, you may, like many people, realize, your current career is not congruent with who you are (your values, passions and core). Only you know if you earn money via a livelihood, vocation, or an unconscious habit to get by.

3) Share intimate revelations 

Life is a mirror.  The more intimate you get with yourself and share about yourself, the more comfortable you are with intimacy and transparency.  As you join the dots of childhood events that shape your character and share these, you show integrity, own the process and integrate the soul lessons that enable you to move into an expanded version of you. Love is not about a relationship.  Love is relating.  It is an ongoing phenomenon, a verb not a noun.  To relate is insecure and relationship is a security.  The flow of revelations is like pure water.

4) Be

When you are fully authentic, you never have to go through the process of revealing who you are. True authenticity doesn't require you to tell anyone else what your values are, because everyone will be able to see your values in the way you live your life. When you are fully authentic you don't reveal your chosen values, you become them – you live them.