"Be clear that true love is unconditional and not directed toward anyone. It is complete in and of itself. It is the source energy of all." - Liara Covert
Creating a good (reciprical) relationship implies learning how to interact with your partner in ways that promote and enhance honest communication while allowing for trust and vulnerability. Becoming skillful at relationships requires both your own inner work and external work (on your partnership). Consider 5 pointers to nourish a satisfying relationship:
Unconditional Love & Compassion: How to have a satisfying relationship? Some say its key to always put your partner first. Yet, you cannot ignore yourself. Focus on what you are giving and how you are caring in balance with what you are receiving. Express your needs in a way your partner can understand. If s/he does not get it, this may not be the right person for you.
Absolute Courage and Vulnerability: Love no matter what and commit to absolute truth. Treat someone else as you would have done unto you or treat your partner better to raise the bar on how you would like to be treated. The power of compliments, kind gestures and expressing love is often underestimated. Yet, if this baffles or overwhelms your partner, you may not see eye -to-eye and the relationship may drain rather than energize you.
Know the Truth: This is not about blaming. The key to extraordinary relationships is to know your partner’s soul and never make them wrong. Understand their needs, past hurts, behaviours and patterns. If it resonates, do what you can to satisfy their needs. Yet, being a good partner in a relationship is also about feeling complete unto yourself without the other person. Know that you cannot satisfy each other's voids, only enrich each other.
Be Honest with yourself: Get conscious and commit to moment-to-moment awareness. Your state, body language, words and actions have a direct and potentially lasting impact on your relationship.
Giving Freedom: The power of forgiving, forgetting is profound. There is a saying: if you give a bird freedom and he comes back, he is yours. If the bird never comes back, he was never yours. This is not about possession but rather about free will. Create a safe space for your partner to make honest mistakes and make them feel that they can take comfort in a secure relationship. You cannot force anything. Satisfying relationships arise from giving partners the freedom to value you as you are or move on without imposing guitlt or coersion.
If you are confused about your relationship, whether its moving forward, stagnating or even if you have one at all, you may benefit from getting more clarity.
Clarity in relationships means a situation where both partners are on the same wavelength, have mutual understandings of the purpose of spending time together. The need for clarity arises if either partner is unsure of the direction a relationship is heading. Its helpful if confusion is addressed.
The major way to ask for clarity in relationships is to have a genuine and open talk with your partner. You both need to be clear on what you want in the relationship and how the other party can contribute. Clarity is important because it is one of the best ways to open your eyes to several things you might have ignored. You need to know if you both see the relationship in the same way. Getting clarity will help you know where to improve or if action can be taken for mutual benefit. Consider 25 questions to help you find clarity:
1. How often do I doubt my relationship?
Identify how often this thought crosses your mind. Does it cause insomnia, and are you looking to find solutions to unanswered questions? Be deliberate. Query about your relationship.
2. Is there a pattern?
Another way to gain clarity in relationships is by asking yourself if there is a noticeable pattern in your own behaviour or theirs. This might explain why you are having doubts about your partner.
3. Do we agree on the status of our ‘relationship’?
Two partners must be aware of the nature of a friendship or evolving relationship to consciously play their roles and allow the union work. Are you both of you are working towards a common goal?
4. Is history repeating?
Do you notice that some things that happened in your previous relationships occur in the present one? If this is so, (i.e. fear of commitment) you need to find out what is truly going on.
5. Do I feel safe?
A key question to ask yourself about your relationship is if you feel safe or not. Providing answers to these questions will help you understand if some behaviors should not be condoned.
6. Are we willing to compromise?
If you want to know the level of commitment, you can gain clarity by finding out if you and your partner are ready to compromise. The basis of compromising is stepping out of your comfort zone.
7. Can I count on my partner for support?
When you are in a relationship, you should rely on your partner for support, irrespective of the circumstances. If you are looking for how to ask for clarity, knowing where your partner stands when it comes to supporting you is crucial. If your partner is always available for you, or simply shows up intermittently at his/her convenience, this means two different things. Do you feel like a priority?
8. Is my relationship adversely affecting my self-esteem?
Another way to gain clarity in your relationship is to find out if your overall self-esteem is affected or not. You need to be brutally honest. If you always feel good about yourself and the relationship, then the union might be something you want to continue.
9. Is my relationship preventing my growth?
The goal of any healthy relationship is to grow together with your partner. There is something wrong if one of the partners is not growing in different aspects of their lives. The right partner will ensure you grow and succeed in everything you do. If you are not growing, your partner might not have your best interests at heart.
10. Do our major goals align?
One of the reasons you might not have gotten clarity in your relationship is that your goals do not align with your partner’s. Do you know your own goals? Do you know theirs? This may be an invitation to reflect here.
For instance, some major goals in relationships are relocation, children, career, marriage, pets, spirituality, ect. For your relationship to work and stand the test of time, you need to be sure you and your partner agree here.
11. Does it excite you to see your partner?
You need to ask yourself important questions like “am I happy to see my partner?” Knowing the answer to this question helps you to know if your relationship excites you or not. In a healthy relationship, partners will always be happy to see each other when they meet. This means that despite what they are facing, the thought of having a partner gives a sense of fulfillment.
12. Where do I see my partner and me in a few years from now?
Another way on how to get clarity in a relationship is knowing where you and your partner will be in some years and if the both of you will still be together or not. Knowing the answer to this question allows you to focus on other areas of life. If you don’t feel your partner has staying power, the relationship may not be worth keeping.
13. Am I ready to change?
Does it look difficult or easy for you to change some things for your partner? If you are not ready to be accommodating and understanding in some aspects, then it means your relationship is not rock-solid.
14. Is the communication between us smooth?
Communication is beyond the regular conversations you have with your partner. It involves how the both of you make plans to achieve a common goal, even if it is to resolve a conflict. Are you someone who likes texts and written messages? Is your partner mor of a gift giver of time, energy and objects? Unsure whether your understand each other? The 5 Love Languages book may help.
16. Do you feel free to express yourself when your partner is around?
Have you noticed how you behave anytime you are around your partner? It can give you a pointer to know if you like who you are around them. When you are with your partner, you should feel secure and happy to express your ideas, emotions, and thoughts. If you don’t feel delighted and safe around them, it is a sign that the relationship is not healthy for you.
17. Do you and your partner trust each other?
Trust is one of the core building ingredients of a healthy relationship. To ask for clarity in relationship, you need to find out the level of trust between you and your partner. Both of you have to be sure that you will keep each other in mind when making critical decisions and avoid being selfish.
18. Is there respect in your relationship?
When it comes to finding out relationship clarity, one of the things to check is if there is respect in the union. Showing respect comes with honoring your partner. It means you will always note that they are an integral part of your life, and you will not demean them.
19. Have you spoken about romance?
To truly gain insight into your present relationship status, this is one of the questions you need to ask yourself. If you and your partner have not told each other “I love you” , it might be that the relationship, it may cross your mind to explore this.
20. Are you or your partner sacrificial in the relationship?
One of the ways to know that your partner is rooting for you is when they go out of their way to do something for you. Have you or your partner made some huge sacrifices that came with many demands? If this has barely happened in your relationship, it means you have a lot of work to do.
21. Do you feel threatened by people who admire your partner?
How do you feel when you learn that some people are into your partner? Do you feel secure that nothing will happen, or do you always feel agitated that your partner will cheat on you? Any feeling you have when other people find your partner attractive determines the state of your relationship.
22. Do you love spending time with your partner’s loved ones?
When you are in a relationship with someone, you have an important duty to keep close relations with those close to your partner. However, if you don’t feel comfortable being around your partner’s family and friends, something might be wrong with your relationship.
23. Can you call your partner your best friend?
One of the ways to find clarity in relationships is if you see your partner as your best friend. Having your partner as your best friend is mostly advised when it comes to relationships. They should display certain attributes that will make you rely on them and call them your best friend.
24. Are you keeping a secret from your partner, or are they keeping one from you?
Do you feel your partner is hiding something from you, and they don’t want to spill it? Usually, you can detect this by watching any behavior they recently started displaying. Such behaviors might be propelled by something you are hiding.
25. When last did you discuss the future together?
To gain clarity in relationships, look back at the last time the both of you had a serious discussion about the future. Planning for the future regularly with your partner helps you know what to look forward to. If you rarely talk about the future together, something might be wrong with your relationship.
Another step to find clarity in relationships is to find out the deal breaker in your union. Is there anything your partner would do that can make you walk out of the relationship? You need to be clear on the boundaries in your relationship that come with some repercussions if they are crossed.
If you have been confused about the state of your relationship, use the questions mentioned in this piece as a yardstick to measure how your relationship is going.
Those who struggle to create and experience lasting relationships may be unaware of the power we each hold to reframe or turn our lives around. This requires introspection, shadowork, deep honesty. Before making hasty decisions, consider 5 Ways to explore new approachins to existing relationships:
1. Give & receive without judgement
2. Treat others as you would like to be treated (or better)
3. Derive strength and inspiration from relationships
4. Act to enable your partner to feel seen, heard & valued
5. Cultivate courage to speak your truth with compassion, understanding and love
Now, doing the above whole-heartedly opens you to deeper insight within yourself. If, when you communicate, you still do not feel loved, valued or heard and still do not feel on the same wavelength, then this invites you to step back and recognize your needs are not being met and other actions must be taken. Positive, lasting change can only result when you consistently listen and align with your true self.
This is of course, the tip of the iceberg. Connect with us to join one of our related courses to help renew, revilaltize or reframe key relationships in your life.
Your relationship to time says a lot about your relationship with yourself. You can learn a lot about your personality, state of mind and level of consciousness based on how you view and relate to time. If you are asked what time is, notice which (or how many) of the following feel right or compatible with how you view the world:
1. Time is a means of enslavement
Notice whether you use time unconsciously, as when your attitude resents deadlines or calendar events. Observe how you feel, whether your muscles contract or get anxious about constraints. This view evokes feelings of stress, limitation, resistance, discomfort, and punctuality issues. Being late is like sending the message, "I don't care", "It doesn't matter" or "F*ck you." Identify specific emotion(s) driving you along and follow them to the Source.
2.Time is a device of convenience
Notice whether you use time consciously as a tool to rendez-vous with people in specific places, longitudes, latitudes or when the Sun is at a certain point in the sky. Meet a friend for a hot drink or a lover for dinner. How else in the physical, linear world can you be sure to be in the same point at the same time? This view sees time as a device, like an invisible thread to bring people together in the same perceived conditions.
3. Time is a luxury
Notice whether time is something you feel you lack, do not have or choose to deny yourself. Pinpoint whether its something you think you must earn or bend over backwards to get, strain or struggle to obtain. This view sees time as like a carrot at the end of a fishing line you always seem to be chasing. Yet, what is luxury? It is increasingly defined by how people view and spend time. In a busy and intrusive world, people increasingly value time for enjoying intimate moments and extraordinary or unique experiences.
4. Time is therapy
Notice how much time you give yourself reveals how much love, joy self-care you give yourself. In another way, what you are aware of in time is all that exists for you and offers a lesson in the psychotherapy of appreciation. The more you observe and appreciate yourself, the more your senseory perception expand s and the more of your surroundings opens itself up to you. If you are not in the forest when a tree is cut, you do not hear it fall. If you are unaware of your needs, you cannot satisfy them in-time.
5. Time is a pointer to the totality
Being here involves intention to know life in all dimensions. Let us say we turn down voltage to lights. You cannot see verything clearly in your midst. Imagine that your mind-body is operating at a limited voltage until you discover you hold back and then turn up the life voltage within you. Awakening and Mastering Time to time turns up your voltage which enables you to handle whatever happens. Inside you are fully charged. Life within you is like an explosion. Exercising control on the outside can lead you to constraint the energy flow on the inside. As you allow energy to flow freely inside, surrender to yourself, and properly control the outside. The body, mind can then be used to the full extent. Things you never thought you were capable of you begin doing simply because you begin to see yourself as a battery with voltage fully charged.
6. Time is a portal
In Science fiction books and films, time portals are often used to take a group of people or a single person back in time. Popular time travel destinations often involve traveling back to the era of the dinosaurs. In some films time portals can also be set as a hazard, for instance, they can begin to go haywire which makes them accidentally transport you where you do not wish to go. Back to the future or back to the past is a choice you can easily change with awareness.
7. Time is the key to endless possibilities
From the moment you see time as branching timelines and dimensions, excitement grows as you create pitstops as you hitchhike through universes. You shift gears, travel differently, discover astral and lucid dreaming, the insights to travel through the chakras and other systems.
8. Time is an imaginary concept
Notice time is an imaginary concept that exists in the mind. You give it life and meaning by focusing attention on it. Time play with in movies and books. We need not travel by Flu powder like Harry Potter and friends who call out the name os a place, disparate and apparate To be mindful of your past, is to be open to lessons. Yet, do not focus here, or it will trap you. To be mindful of your future, is to know your vision of future shapes your future. But do not linger too long, or it will distract you. Choosing to stay present is to marvel at simple wonders of this moment and be infinitely grateful all-the-time.
Barbara, it is a pleasure to connect with you again here. Years ago, during another stage of my life, I had the privilege of attending a few of your corporate keynotes with Allan. I sincerely enjoyed your humour and the way you both so effectively shared insights the audience could relate to. You have this amazing ability to understand fears, and put them in perspective in ways that are educational and entertaining. To be in the presence of your energy is eye-opening, thought-provoking and empowering. Thus, you are a perfect addition for the inspirational mentors area of this Blog.
I love how you are so approachable and down-to-Earth in-person, that your stories feel so genuine and engaging and that being near you enables people to feel more comfortable laughing at themselves. It is no surprise that you and Allan are internationally renowned, best-selling authors. The Definitive Book of Body Languageand Why Men Don't Listen & Women Can't Read Maps are two of my favourites. I love all the ones I have read. To your credit, you share an impressive 18 best-sellers, including 10 number ones and more than 27 million books sold. Thank you for all you do to encourage others and to enrich the world. Now on to this interview. Let us see where it takes us...
Society and our peers engrain ideas about success and expectations. We each come into struggle, turmoil, and places we do not wish to go. Tremendous changes are taking place. We do not always know where to turn, or how to respond with confidence.
Please share why you chose to write and publish The Answer, how it stands apart from your other books, who is your intended reader and why it is empowering?
Our other books are about how to be a better communicator, how to be a people magnet and how to build rewarding relationships. But after many years in the speaking business, meeting and talking to people everywhere, The Answercame to life as a book to teach people how to discover what they are passionate about and then how to achieve it. Many people believe they know how to achieve success but most never seem to move forward with their lives. This is usually not from lack of trying, but from not having the right system to move forward and to effectively set the goals they really want.
So, you tell your readers, here is The Answer: "Life is a game and here are the rules."
From an early age most people are conditioned to please others instead of themselves. As adults, this often translates into being stuck in a job they don’t like or with a partner they no longer connect with because they’re often listening to the opinions of others and end up doing what society, family or friends expect of them, rather than marching to their own drum.
Your insight is such encouragement for us all to participate more whole-heartedly in life, yet not for the purpose of using life experience to avoid ourselves. It sounds like an invitation to notice our own resistance and let it pass through. Its like when you relax, little bits of pain and tightness are released, and we let the creative music in. It is said that true greatness and transformation hide beyond pain. As we open our eyes and wake up, so much more exists to each of us that what we are taught. How does your book help people see their true colors?
The amazing feedback and stories we’ve received from readers around the world is testament to the powerful and life-changing techniques in The Answer. We’ve had readers writing to us from Moscow to Paris, to Quebec, Tehran and Sydney sharing their stories about how they’re now moving in new directions with their lives and finally doing what they really want to do.
That is powerful confirmation you are right on track with your desire to move forward and still guide people to recognize and let go of their comfort zones. We can devote life to staying with the familliar or, explore 'what ifs,' step boldly into the unknown, expand into more of ourselves. We only experience more of what is available without mental boundaries. We must see and transcend our own.
This said, the Self-help book industry is huge. Many say everything that can be said in this genre already has been. This said, new books are still being written, released and also becoming best-sellers. Your book The Answer, has been called “ground-breaking” and a category killer”. How do you feel about this and the impact this book is making? What enables it to stand out?
We have always written our books for everyday people. We write in a straight-forward, no nonsense and humorous way. We do this intentionally because humour is an important tool that helps people absorb and remember information. The Answer pulls together most of the ideas and strategies people may already know, for example, The Law of Attraction, The Universe, Goal- setting, Prayer, the Yin & Yan and so on. We then tie it all together with the science of the brain to explain why and how these things work. The Answer gets enormous results from our male readers who are sceptical of concepts like The Law of Attraction – men demand evidence and The Answer provides it. The Answer gives scientific proof then shows the reader how to achieve anything they want.
The human mind fears uncertainty and resists pain. From a young age, we explore questions to shift focus away from the mental cage created by our fear and discomfort. Curiously, answers we come up with do not always help realize dreams. As what you teach nipping fear in the bud, readers may be astonished or, find it no wonder your monthly relationship column has over 20 million readers in 25 countries. Many people seek advice to equip them to deal with what arises.
Turns out, when the going gets tough, people come face-to-face with big questions. You say participants of your seminars have had their lives changed by your teachings, that your simple but powerful skills help you deal effectively with almost everything that happens. What about dilemmas that trigger insecurity, health issues, stress us about the biological clock, and fear of mortality? What insight does The Answer offer to deal with really tough situations?
We share how we have used the techniques in The Answer to produce our IVF children, to overcome depression, fight cancer and many other areas of our own lives. The techniques revealed in The Answer are simple and practical - not always easy, but simple - and show how when you have the belief you can achieve anything you want – you can!
Accessible, easy-reading books like yours help people feel better equipped to deal with what life throws. Reminds me of the reach of the Original Chicken Soup for the Soul compiled by Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen. It contains of course inspirational stories that help people find courage to overcome adversity. Although your books are more instructive, readers of your books and these relate and imagine their own triumphs. You have to nurture a dream before you can manifest it.
Now, love the term Easy Peas-y, often used to refer to how you view and respond to challenges. As the single most best-selling female author in Australia with 14 best-sellers to your credit, what advice do you offer aspiring authors? Is writing something you always wanted to do or did the writing career happen unexpectedly? If you could rewind or fast-forward your life, anything you would change?
Growing up in Central Queensland, I never thought of myself as a writer but as a person who had been given the gift of being able to teach people on all levels and to make people feel valued and important. So when I met Allan he was already an author and he saw in me what I never saw in myself - that I had a talent to offer the female perspective in our books and to reach people globally from all walks of life. We have always worked as a team on our books so that they have a balanced male and female perspective. In my life I have 6 children and 8 grandchildren that I adore. I exercise 6 days a week and live in Buderim on the beautiful Sunshine Coast. Allan and I practice what we preach. We decide what we want in our lives and work every day toward our goals. Right now, we are building a community of people who we have worked with at our weekend events… and I wouldn’t change a thing! I love my life and I am constantly excited about what can happen in the future. Allan and I learn and grow together and create amazing life goals that keep us moving forward.
The process of moving forward is indeed energizing. We can move in so many directions. What is possible begins to expand based on our choice to cross paths and interact more often with people on a similar wavelength. The idea of creating a community of like-minded people who connect, support and encourage each other strikes me as a model with staying power. Love others as you love yourself and the universe responds by moving mountains. We help each other and like the movie, Pay it forward. This is true freedom.
Speaking on a practical level, what you have seen in practice during your workshops and events since The Answer was released? Is this impact meeting your expectations? How is your vision for the book changing with the changing consciousness of the planet?
We have just completed the 5th of our new VIP Weekends at our rainforest property on the Sunshine Coast. On these weekends, we coach up to 30 delegates to discover their true potential and to pursue their dreams. When Allan and I began to write The Answer, we hadn’t conceived the VIP Weekends yet, but once we set our RAS and decided that The Answer would be life-changing to our readers, amazing opportunities started to appear to us. That’s how the RAS works!
We’ve since had the privilege of meeting hundreds of people through these VIP weekends and we are always excited to hear how their lives have evolved after they’ve attended the VIP Weekend.
It is indeed exciting to follow up and see how exchanges of energy are affecting the dynamic field of awareness. As talented singer-songwriter Grace Vanderwaal reminds us, So much More exists as we listen deeply to ourselves. It is what it is.
The examples you share helps us start seeing beyond individual people and stories, and the darkness that keeps chasing us. We begin to see the power of where and how we are focusing our consciousness. Very cool revelations arise. We see how others interpret behaviour and movement based on what we hold in our minds and the blocks that funnel energy toward more subtle bodily actions and activities.
You say in The Answer, “The reason most people don’t accomplish much or have much in their lives is because they haven’t decided what they want.” You also tell readers to, “Expect and plan for people, and things to try and slow you down.” What advice can you offer people who do set goals, write ideas down, yet feel discouraged by encountering repeated roadblocks to manifesting or somehow hold themselves back from realizing goals? Please offer an example of a few cases where people managed to turn their lives around.
I received an email yesterday from a couple who came to our VIP weekend last year. At the time, they were stuck financially and emotionally in past failures. They had a dream to move to France but they didn’t have the belief they could do it. They emailed us from France… their RAS had found their way forward and they are now living there and loving it! Another of our delegates from our first VIP Weekend a year ago set a goal of becoming a net millionaire – from a zero start -by age 50. He told us this week he had just achieved this goal – 3 weeks before his 50th!
For many people, following through on their plans can be the hardest part of the goal-getting process. You’ve set a specific goal, you’ve written a plan with a deadline, and now you are announcing it to the world. But suddenly you find a flood of people – especially relatives and friends – trying to talk you out of it. Decide right now that you will not listen to these people. We are not saying that you should be reckless or take unnecessary risks – every choice you make to move forward has risks. You need to make your own informed decisions -- don’t let anyone steal your dreams. People who are too weak to follow their own dreams will always find a way to discourage yours. Don’t let small minds convince you that your goals are too big. If your goals don’t scare you a little, they are not big enough. And be careful who you open up to. Only tell your dreams to a few people really care. The rest are just curious.
Funny thing about France. I sense another synchronicity! Like your VIP guests in the example, years ago, I also had a dream about a move to France. I started with the vision, then drew a map, read books, got some French penpals, learned the language, really focused my attention on the goal. Athough it didn't happen right away, I did end up winning a scholarship and completing my Masters and Ph.D in France. That period of my life was full of adventures. Years later, something similar happened before my move to Australia. Like other readers here, consistenly living dreams is a topic of great interest. You can realize a dream, yet feel impatient for others to happen. What to do about closing the gap between here and there...
On this note, The Answer intrigues loads of people because of its substance, exercises and advice about repeatability. A lot of research went into it. You talk about the importance of training and retaining the brain. Tried and tested methods appeal. Please comment on the RAS (Reticular Activating System), how to activate it, and what we can do to accelerate the process of finding a passion and creating multiple income streams. How does knowing more about brain power catapult us into more of our true greatness?
Every person has the seeds of greatness inside them, but few people realise it. And even if you do know it, how do you make it all happen? When you understand how the brain functions and that you can program it for whatever you want, your life goes into over-drive. You realise that nothing happens by chance and that you are – and always have been – in charge of what happens in your life.
Taking charge, that is personal responsibility for everything, not just credit for what works out but also what does not, is such a key revelation.We have to love ourselves and express this in more than external body language. This feels like a turning point to real transformation.
More and more people are growing aware that something in their lives does not feel right. Yet that does not necessarily mean they are ready or willing to take action to change. The Answer invites focusing on what one finds exciting as a step to making bigger life changes. Of course, talkers and doers still exist. What, in your experience, prompts people to take the most immediate action, especially the leap from fear to being more honest with themselves and doing what they love?
For some people, motivation to make a change comes when something bad happens or their life begins to unravel. While that is very normal - and Allan and I have certainly had our fair share of setbacks - if you practice setting your goals and writing and re-writing them, using affirmations and always working a piece at a time towards your goals then the process becomes second nature, life is constantly evolving and you are always focused on something new and exciting. With this approach, you come to see life in a positive way. When someone reads THE ANSWER they realise that they can really have what they want in life and that is it simple when you follow the rules in our book. Life can be amazing if you want it to be.
I just love revelations you share about human behaviour. You bring those up in other books. The observations you make and write about have such widespread relevance, the themes show up in greeting cards and cartoon blurbs. The universality of themse you write about helps so many people wake up and live more consciously.
That said, some goals are tangible, and trackable on linear timelines. Your Book, The Answer, offers loads of pertinent wisdom for this. Yet, other people have a vision of fulfillment that is more qualitative and less relevant to timelines. What advice can you offer people who have a vision for who they are or what they wish to be, but have difficulty outlining measurable steps. After you clarify a vision for yourself, what role does surrendering to the universe or letting go and letting God ( as they say) have in your own life? What are the results?
The RAS will find the “HOW” when you are clear about “WHAT” you want. As Allan says, the “HOW” is none of your business [laughs]. Affirming what you do want and believing that the RAS will help you find answers to how to achieve your goal is the first step. But some people stop there and procrastinate or allow other people or situations to pull them off track. This is why it’s so important to spend time each day visualising yourself achieving your goal. Then to start writing down what you can do to get closer to your goal. How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. And so it is with achieving your goals.
Right! Nothing ever goes away until it teaches you what you need to know. As you imply, goal-setting is not all its cracked up to be. Knowing unpredictable events arise allows one to better adapt to them. Expect the unexpected and never be disapointed. We control everything yet are not conscious of everything. Learning more about the brain helps us connect the dots and respond without allowing emotions to control us.
With all the lives you touch, all that you accomplish, all you have done, what at this moment, makes your life most fulfilling? What would you like to do but have not done yet? How would you encourage others to live a more purpose-driven life? Could you offer any preliminary steps that would jump start the process?
My family and friends make my life fulfilling… and I just love spending time with them. We have 4 older children and to watch them achieve new goals and move forward with their lives is such a joy. We also have 2 younger kids and we are having so much fun being older parents and showing them what they can achieve if they believe in themselves. Allan and I have an great relationship which keeps getting better and better as we grow older together (which was one of our original joint goals). Allan is my running mate in life and life is never dull. We laugh a lot and create an amazing life together. I feel I am a very blessed person, but this was always on my goal list. My advice is find your running mate in life, set your goals and dreams and chase them until you achieve them. TWO BOOKS TO READ TO KICK START YOUR LIFE ARE ….WHY MEN DON’T LISTEN AND WOMAN CAN’T READ MAPS and THE ANSWER…these are a must for anyone that wants an exciting, happy fulfilling life. Men and Women are different and once you understand the differences your personal and business life becomes really exciting.
Those book are great. The observations you make are hilarious and so true. This makes me chuckle. I am also reminded of themes covered in that book by John Gray, Men are From Mars and Women are from Venus. That is another classic worth a read. I suppose you know of it?
Books help with self-growth, yet is said that in-person coaching or mentoring people to accept more of who they are, is a way of seeing a deeper part of ourselves. Please share some of the most profound lessons you have learned about yourself in your career. What are a few big highlights?
When I was 12 years old I had 3 jobs and worked hard. As an adult, I realised that I was tenacious in business and could achieve almost anything when I set my mind to it. When I met Allan, he showed me the science behind why what I did worked so well and this propelled me to go to even bigger things. And thus, The Answer was born.
Hence, the relevance of that phrase, "the best is here and the best is also yet to come." With every moment comes the possibility of renewed strength, new ideas and inspired action. This is how we can each experience harmony within. As you say, the focus of attention is paramount and so is being open to learning new things about ourselves.
Of course, its common to view time as a human process, a thing we create to master ourselves, grow conscious of and move through our self-created obstacles. Love the way you invite people to make the most of their time based on how they clarify their dreams and realize them. What does time mean to you? How dos it feel to spend time wisely and master it in your own life?
Most people waste time by spending 80% of their time on the things and activities that only produce 20% of their results. I dedicate 100% of my time to the things that get me the 80% of the results and I take the rest of the time off. We all have the same amount of time – the difference is how we use it.
Taking time off, the self-care time is widely under-rated and so often overlooked. What a valuable reminder. William Penn echoes "Time is what we want most, but what we use worst." This is a valuable piece of advice to take away. Looking after ourselves is loving ourselves much like sharing here is caring too.
It is widely known you and Allan are public speakers and facilitate seminars related to your books in 70 countries. That is mind-blowing. It also inspires everyone to be the best we can all be.
At this stage, I’m excited to hear more about your VIP Weekends for coaching. Please tell us more about those. What prompts you to create this opportunity? How often do you offer these events? What do they involve? How does one qualify? We would love to hear all the details.
Our VIP Weekends are amazing! We started running them because people learn the most and have the most profound, deep experiences when in a small group environment for 2 days. We limit the VIP Weekends to a maximum of 30 people so that we have time to spend with everyone, getting to know what is important in their lives and how we can help them move forward and get more of what they want and achieve a fullfilling life.
Love that you invite people to step outside the perceived world they build for themselves to see new sources of light, inspiration and possibilities. One core message that stands out in The Answer is we exist to go beyond the walls or limitations we imagine. To do that, we have to understand why we build walls in the first place. Group discussions are great for helping us be more aware of our blind spots. Sense lots more people are interested in joinging your VIP groups.
It feels exciting to feel you developing and expanding in your projects. You are really branching out with Heliport Studios. This is a unique extension from books and public speaking to recording studios for TV and music. What inspired this? How do you envision this brainchild evolving? Can you give us a sneak peak of projects in the works?
Allan was a professional Blues guitar player in the 1960s and his passion was always music. We decided to make this passion a business and it has grown to the point where we host famous musicians, bands and identities. Last year we even engineered Rihanna’s song Towards The Sun which was the title song for the Dreamworks Movie, When you have identified your passion with The Answer, the ultimate is to turn this passion into a paying business, When you do this, you’ll never work another day in your life.
Uplifting music to the ears!
Rhianna's song is a lyrically and melodically beautiful. Like this song, your books highlight the importance of taking life events in stride. Thus we "let the shadows fall behind [us]." The Answer echoes the Sun always shines from our hearts when we choose to be in harmony with ourselves. We can each bring more light and love into our lives when we stop being so Delicate , just like Taylor Swift sings.
And the vision of living playfully like a dolphin near the ocean is so inviting. The fact you are located near the Gold Coast is an inspirational setting, the perfect environment for brainstorming and discussing new visions and life transformation. Love the opportunities you are creating for natural human connections and jumpstarting innovation.
Thanks so much Barbara for this timely interview. Only perfect timing exists. You and Allen make such a huge contribution to help others awaken and reclaim their inner power. In order to understand why we limit ourselves, we have to understand who is holding us back. This involves gaining insight into body language and mental and emotional games we play.
Thank you for reminding us who we are and what we can do is related to our thoughts and focus of attention. There is a saying: you are beocming like the five people you spend the most time with. This is an invitation to reflect on the qualities of those you admire and create ways to spend more time with like-minded Souls. Take advantage of the opportunity to participate in an event hosted by Barbara and Allan Pease.
Choose to get the most out of life. You get exactly what you decide, nothng more, nothing less.
Here is a link to Pease International website for more information on the VIP Weekends: www.peaseinternational.com
Saturday, November 4, 2023 at 6:02AM 
