Find the bright side

No matter what kind of condition or life circumstances you know and have known, a bright side exists. You can always train or untrain the mind to notice this.  Its a blessing to do so.

For instance, if it is raining outside, and this appears to spoil your plans, you can shift focus to be grateful for the nutrients this brings to the flowers and greenery. You can be grateful for the moisture that renews the Earth, that gives you water to drink, and enables you to do something you would not otherwise have done. You can see rain as opening the way to see the sun. Even an electric storm can be viewed as a form of relief for Nature and much more.

The same can be said for every person you ever know, every job you've ever had, every event that has ever unfolded in front of you. If you feel cheated or betrayed, you can find something positive about the same situation. You can focus what appears to be lacking or what insight, opportunity or wisdom you are gaining. What did you learn about yourself that you wouldn't have seen otherwise? It is valuable to step outside the judging mind.

If you feel you have reason to resign from your job, then you can choose to see that as the best possible thing that could happen, and feel excited about what is coming next. After all, to be your own boss or to find a different job more suitable to your skills would be marvelous!

Consider how an unforeseen injury that laid you up a few weeks enabled you to read the books you hadn't made time to read before. Perhaps you benefit from a reminder to relax and be kinder to yourself. Every event invites you to be more compassionate with yourself and others.  To recognize you have ability to see your life situation from another perspective is something that helps you, come what may.

Wherever you are, whatever you do, you can re-program your mind.  What will it take to convince yourself that you have blessings in your life? Start believing your relationships will be restored, that opportunities already exist for you and you choose to see them or not. As you start expecting good things to happen, then you reach a stage where this is all you see.  Know you pass your tests with flying colors. Recognize everything is preparing you for something else. You are being readied for conditions which are better for you than before. Sensing the bright side strengthens more than eyesight. It moves you from hope to trust.

"Always look on the bright side of life." - Monty Python

Digest the possibilities

What does the desire to goal-set mean about you? This concept has different meanings for each of us. Some people feel the need to identify a target to self-motivate or make anything happen. Other people recognize value in committing to a series of goals that are supposedly leading to longer-term conditions.

Whatever your mindset, goal-setting can play a beneficial role in your life, if you choose to evaluate what courses of action would suit you, and what you will have to contribute to the process to get something desirable back. Consider these aspects of the process:

1)How would you like your life to change? Goals can be like the signposts you outline to guide you through your own evolution. You may not realize your attitude, mindset and thought process all influence how you think you would like your life to change and also what you really want. Reflecting on why you desire to aim to create certain experiences will help you understand this. This phase is the time to self-examine, determine wht may be missing and what you could do to fill a void in your life. Only after you discern something is missing might you act to change that.

2)What will be possible implications for whom?Its easy enough to voice a desire to create change in your life, but you may not be used to recognizing how change will affect other areas of your life. Your commitment to one thing may require sacrifices and compromises elsewhere.  Are you ready to deal with the reactions of people in your life to yoru desired changes? What if they disagree with your priorities? Communication with people oustide of yourself may be a beneficial part of the goal-setting process. Who will your new goals affect and how? Would you be willing to spend less time with loved ones? Are you ready to sacrifice part of your life or disrupt family routines to care for sick friends or relatives? If so, for how long?

3) Are you aware of possible physical tolls? When you claim a desire to accomplish something, you may not factor in the physical exertion it will require to reach your goal, and also what you will have to manage afterwards. These are not matters meant to scare or deter you, but rather, to remind you that goal-setting is more than an emotional planning exercise. If physical training will be required, do you plan to keep this up as part of a long-term change in lifestyle? Would gaining weight as the result of having children be something you would later take steps to lose?

4)Where will new responsibilities lie? You may come to associate a level of responsibility with the process of goal-setting as well as following through. To devote yourself to a cause or dream is not something you desire to abandon during growing phases. Acquiring a pet, seeking a new job, developing new relations, having children, working on your self-image, health, fitness or entrepreneurial skills, are but some of the goals that involve an ongoing learning process. Your existence may be set to connect with other people, creatures and circumstances. To step back and recognize the profound terms will contribute to new fulfillment.

"We have more possibilities available in each moment than we realize." -Thich Nhat Hanh

Ease into the flow

Relationships with some people come so easily while other relationships seem awkward and strained. You may ask why? How can you get along so well with a friend or colleague and have parents, a partner, siblings, in-laws or other people, causing you to feel self-conscious or 'out-of-place?' What is the nature of incompatibility? What does this tell you about harmony?

As you get-to-know yourself, sorting through feelings and vibes gets easier.  You actually know yourself better than anyone, yet may temporarily lose confidence.  Rest assured, openness is a trait you have as a child and you can tap into it at any moment.  Why do you think it felt much easier to express your feelings more directly then? Ease into the flow;

1) Be more aware. Ask the source of love in your life what you need to work on. Keep an open mind.  Watch which emotions arise as you listen and hear the observations. Discover negative vibes  are not telling you about people so much as why you resist expressing love. Invite love to come in and replace negativity. Zero in on why you may think someone won't accept you or like you, and why this matters. Reasons for discomfort you thought you'd never solve resolve themselves. Issues actually begin in your own imagination.

2) Open your inner channels to feel. Recognize that anxiety or worry are telling you valuable things about your complaints and reactions to particular people. What do you fear? What might other people fear about you? Allowing your energy to flow reminds you the more fulfilling life you envision can't come if you're stuck in a mode of self-criticism. You can't control what others may think. This is an invitation to release thoughts you outgrow.

3) Feel good about yourself. Your own desires create, deepen or sever relationships based on what your mind allows. If someone clearly asks you not to contact or interact with them, it's their call. Such people have and may deny their own issues. As you release your own negative thoughts, any unwanted energy will dissipate and stop controlling you. What remains is grounded in compassion.  Trust this process and negative energy won't return.

4) Accept flashes of insight. The truth is that quieting the mind enables you to reframe the relationships you live. Observing your own thoughts and behaviour triggers flashes of insight.  The mind says all pieces will fall together and the heart knows no puzzle ever fell apart.  Intend fulfilling relationships and this is your experience. All is always well.

Restore your inner strength

For much of your life, you may have derived your self-worth from how you performed in the office, with romantic partners, in athletic competitions or, in some other area of your life.  Even if you haven't been consciously aware of it, you may have felt that the more professional or group recognition you gained, the more personal compliments were directed your way, the more money you earned, all determined your underlying value.  Are you the type of person who thinks, "the better I do, the more people will like me?" Is this the crux of your view of success?

If you've had thoughts like those described above, you may have accomplished things, but still miss out on a lot.  There's more to life than simply lving according to other people's criteria or how they think you should live.  Some of the most challenging experiences are those that trigger most personal revelations and initiate inner healing. 

If you have been frightened of making new decisions or taking initiatives, you may assume fate is in charge and there's no point in taking steps to shape your course.  You may not yet have realized its up to you to restore faith, trust and tap into existing inner strength.  Consider this:

1) You decide what comes of you mentally and spiritually.  Conditions such as lack of food, little sleep, and other disconcerting sources of stress, remind you that what becomes of you results from an inner decision.  Do you decide to give up, stop seeking solutions, and stop fighting or, do you decide external circumstances will not control your attitude? Just as you may experience the suffering sides of emotions, you can learn what it means to stop suffering just as soon as you formulate a convincing, multi-sensual, mental picture of what it means and believe. 

2) You can make use of or forgo opportunities.  Are you aware that your inner strength can raise you above your outward experiences?  You are confronted with fate, each time you have the opportunity to achieve and learn through suffering.  You can choose to face hardship in a courageous and dignified way, and value your health in whatever state or, see meaning in other perceived predicaments that challenge your comfort zone. Ask yourself how would whatever you sense is difficult in your life actually helping you? Embrace it.

3) You can decide to take spiritual evolution seriously.  Your free will and decisions shape your observations and how you understand success.  You determine how long you fear your circumstances, and when this destructive mindset will end.  Another way of seeing is to realize difficult situations are gifts that enable you to interpret life as an opportunity to grow beyond what the mind can teach you. Embrace the challenges where you perceive.  Shift your perception.  Turn your circumstances into the reason for your latest, inner triumph. Decidr to take spiritual evolution seriously. Respond with joy and stretch yourself.

"If you haven't the strength to impose your own terms upon life, you must accept the terms it offers you." -T.S. Eliot

Hungry for self-acceptance

When someone makes you an offer, you have the opportunity to accept or reject the offer. Similarly, if you propose products, services or something about you to other people, then they could embrace or reject you.  If you learn to see rejection as a process of learning how to become more effective or how to become truer to yourself, then you'll be less likely to feel devastated in the case that events don't unfold your way. Its a path to self-acceptance.

Reflect on an experience when you feel rejected.  Your attention may be drawn to things you didn't know about yourself or other people.   How do you benefit? What can you gain?  You may discover a hidden agenda, evidence of untruths, an interplay of thoughts and feelings within yourself, and about the other person who has rejected you.  Getting 'brushed-off' is an invitation to grow and love yourself more just as you are right now.  Do you realize that? 

Consider Colonel Sanders, the brains behind Kentucky Fried Chicken (KFC).  Whether or not you like or eat the food from this restaurant is beside the point.  Sanders shouldered over 2000 rejections before he came upon a receptive restaurant for his recipe ideas. It took a lot of determination and thickening of his own skin before he met people willing to buy and market his special recipe.  The rest is history.  Yet, KFC success didn't happen overnight. 

Take notice of how you give and respond to rejection.  Do you shrug off rejection easily and move on or, would you benefit from taking a crash course on grace and maturity? Are you tolerant, loving and accepting of others, or are you apt to humiliate them and wound their pride? Whatever approach you take reveals to what degree you love and accept true self.

Let's reflect. So, you didn't get offered the promotion or maybe you were dumped by your partner for someone else.  Neither situation is particularly appealing on the surface, but look a bit deeper.  Rather than permit yourself to feel bad about what you didn't get, or view yourself as less than worthy, you can see every situation as doing you a favor.  Look at your new freedom! New opportunities are arising; in personal growth, in other jobs, and more fulfilling relationships. Everything is a stepping stone to something. 

When all is said and done, you benefit from observing your responses to everything that unfolds in your life.   As you evolve to understand why you feel rejected, you come to see a limited perspective can expand.  If you tell yourself you're less than you are, then you reinforce false beliefs that do not serve you.  Everything is a teacher if you see it.

In the end, you can breathe a sigh of relief if you are brushed off.  Step back and see what this allows to arise in your life.  If you didn't have doubt or expectations, then feeling frustrated, demoralized or disappointed wouldn't arise and capture your attention.  Situations only hurt if you allow attachment.  Teach yourself suffering is a state of mind.  Satiate the hunger that does not really exist.  Self-improvement is unnecessary as you love yourself as you are.