3 Revelations about Control

The desire to control is a common unconscious phenomenon. Many people are unaware of their own driving force or what exists beneath it.  Consider three revelations about control:

1. The effort to control arises due to fear.

In other words, control is a defence mechanism.  As you identify the fear, question its validity. Ask yourself, Is it true? If you’re afraid the night will be ruined, question that assumption.

2. Control is a result of being attached to a specific outcome (as if we always know what is best).

As we trust that we’re okay no matter what circumstances unfold, no need arises to micromanage the universe. We let go, open ourselves to all sorts of unforeseen possibilities that are unseen when we’re attached to one “right” path. What can you directly influence? Is your focus here? Or are you in someone else’s business? When we’re trying to control things outside of our own sphere, things fall apart rather than together.

3. The energy of control is less powerful than surrender.

When our vision gets very narrow and focused, our breath goes shallow, adrenaline is pumping and the heart rate increases.  It almost always does. Let that feeling of freedom guide us toward loosening our grip.  The more we want something, the more we are conditioned to hold on. yet letting go results in something beautiful.

Let go of will to control

Notice its common to wonder what determines how life unfolds. Yet, its not up to us. Its outside of our control. Feel into any resistance arising to not being in control. Everything that presents results from dynamic forces of equilibrium and natural laws interacting and creating what is seen and unseen. We do not have to know all reasons that needed to happen for everything to be as it is. This has nothing to do with us. Its completely impersonal. Everything is fine until we show up, judge it, attempt to force or manipulate. Energy flows where we are not. We are fine with that. We rarely or never complain about where we are not. Ponder this...

So, life is not about controlling energy. Its about our relationship with the force of creation unfolding outside us. We each inhabit a body and "the world" is outside. Energy is always unfolding, that includes before after time, before our birth and after body is gone.

Many people seek peace. Thing is, right now, we can be in a state of acceptance, awe, respect, honour, experience this moment as fresh and new. Insodoing, we gift ourselves whatever arises. We are the only being standing right here, now. From this view, no problems exist, simply experience we accept (or reject/ resist). For most, their relationship with life and self is not always peaceful. Why is that?

Well, we decide in the mind, develop ideas, of what life should be doing today, tomorrow, and beyond. In truth, we limit possibilities, make it all up, create a vison, goals, dreams we must realize and specific steps to get here. Ego decides what should and should not be, what we like and dislike, what is right and wrong in relation to our own self-created points of reference. A problem is that unfolding realities are not obliged to meet our expectations. Business projections are not always accurate. When what we want to happen, doesn't happen as we want it to and when, that is viewed as a problem. Yet, reality does not behave this way. We make up an alternate version of reality and get upset when the unfolding does not happen as ego wants. This brings suffering. We are the source.

In essence then, Buddha's Nobel Truths are simple. Everybody is suffering because they do not have the right understanding of the way things are, they have expectations for life that reality does not meet. The cause of suffering is desire, preference, our idea of ways things ought to be. We make it up and want things to happen, our way.

As it is, moments exist independently from the rest. Everything is interconnected. To end suffering, end attachment to desire and outcomes, stop being rigid about the way things must be. Come back to simplicity. The way the world is does not have to be the way you want it to be.

A key question to ask is what prompts us to fear things will not be the way we want? It evokes tension. A wise person does not renounce all desires. Yet, why do we insist on imagining an alternate reality instead of savouring the one that exists? Rather than struggle with life or ourselves, go deeper. Everything does not have to be a certain way for us to be loved, lovable, accepted, successful. We are a witness, guest and observer.

Be receptive to the present

Notice at some stage, it dawns no separate personal, public, professional or spiritual life exist. The fragmented ways we are taught to view our lives are paths and back to wholeness.As we begin to make the shift from ego to soul, we may encounter opposition or interference. Those most closely connected to us resist our shift because we have created predictable patterns (healthy or not) and this keeps others in their comfort zones.

Anything we attempt to push away, deny, fragment or forget is stored energetically inside us. As we allow ourselves to feel the tug-of war, discomfort fully, honour, accept its right to be, learn, grow from the experience, then energy and related conditions dissipate.

Truth is, we also cannot undo past events. The pain we feel related to what we cannot change is a form of love. To be open and receptive to energies coming through, is part of learning to be comfortable with all vibrations. Growth only happens when we learn to get comfortable with and decode our own discomfort, energies we are not completely equipped or ready to handle. Anything that is stuck inside is unfinished energetic business.

Life is about getting in touch with our inner selves. When we no longer attempt to control and manipulate life, we stop triggering our stuff. If we are unaware or not taking care of our inner world, then our outer world reflects this.

So, if the mind is healthy, no emotional or mental "needs" exist. Yet, if we are afraid, tense, insecure, anxious, not paying attention, our uncomfortable vibration projects into our external. Certain things can happen outside that make it worse inside, that magnify inner disturbance. Most people are disturbed far more than they are at peace. Inner disturbance are the most common underlying reason we tell ourselves we want to take vacations, buy things, get different relationships, new homes, jobs or create new businesses or conditions. Until we deal with the underlying issues that drive all of this in the mind, they simply emerge again.

Some people go out of the way to put themselves in challenging situations. When conscious, this brings out the best versions of us. What if you could awaken in the morning with no notion of what's next? Simply be spontaneous and totally okay about that?

The ultimate aim is to be receptive to energy flows, to let energy pass through and choose not to carry it with you. If it is not unfolding right now, then it is no longer relevant to our attention. Life can be savoured moment-by-moment without unfolding in a certain way. Living with the uncertainties and stress of modern day can feel s of the ego is to know life does not have to be what we are taught. We can feel our way into new realities.overwhelming, but only if we allow it. To recognize dreams and goals are ego constructs is to know life does not have to be a certain way. We can feel our way into new realities.

 

Interview with Raana Zia

As life experience guides us from one synchronicity to another, it is a delight to connect with Raana Zia and have the privilege of reading her book, Your Hidden Light:  A Practical Guide to Creating Your Desired Life.

After reading it, I felt I could relate to so much she had written that I intuitively asked her to participate in this interview to share it with Dreambuilders Australia readers. I am absolutely delighted to share this exchange with her which I honestly feel raises the vibration of those who vicariously share parts of her journey.

Thanks Raana for making yourself available for this interview and for contributing in your own way to lighting up the world. 

Being a person who loves joining the dots and empowering others to do the same, I am curious how you heard about me and why you so recently chose to offer me your book.  

I discovered your blog through The Clearing blog in an article written by Kris de Leon.  I read more about you and felt very connected to your messages.  I too have recently experienced similar awareness and understanding of the power of following your heart, intuition, inner guidance.  From what I read in your blogs, much of what you say resonates as truth to me and is aligned with what I talk about in my book.  I so appreciate that you took the time to read my book.

Contrary to what many believe, like attracts like.  That is, everything and everyone is a mirror inviting us to get a message we are not yet consciously seeing and integrating. Please share a bit about yourself and your process. What prompted you to write this book?

I am a corporate executive/CFO turned spiritual self-help author of the book Your Hidden Light:  A Personal Guide to Creating Your Desired Life.  I had been in corporate finance for 20+ years successfully climbing the corporate ladder.  In 2012, while I achieved my goal of becoming a CFO of a billion-dollar company, I felt a strong internal pull in my heart telling me I needed to be doing something else in my life.  I had no idea what I was supposed to do, but the feeling was so strong that I knew I needed to find out.  I spent the next five years reading self-help books, going to seminars, talking to personal coaches, etc., searching for my purpose and building a belief I could do something different.  The more I searched, the more curious I became on how the world worked and how I was able to manifest the good things in my life (career, family, home, vacations, etc).  I was drawn to this subject matter of “manifesting your desires”, and I was determined to make sense of it all in a way that I could easily understand and apply. 

In 2015, I thought that maybe I needed to write a book to synthesize all that I was discovering.  I was getting pieces of wisdom that were life changing and profound from many different sources, but there wasn’t one book that brought it all together in a way that was direct and easy to understand. However, the thought of writing a book was surprising to me since I was never a writer, nor did I ever dream to write a book.  I built my career on finance and analytics, so this new creative urge to write was unfamiliar to me.  Despite my initial uncertainty, I knew I needed to follow my inner guidance, but I needed the right moment of courage to begin. 

In October of 2016, I lost my CFO job due to a corporate restructuring, and at that moment I knew it was time to follow my heart.  I was given the opportunity of time to do what I really desired to do.  However, I was scared because I did not know what I was doing or how to write a book.  My family assumed I would immediately start looking for another job since they had no idea what I was thinking and feeling on the inside.  I remained paralyzed in fear for about six weeks until I finally had the courage to believe that I was a writer and I was supposed to write this book despite what people close to me thought.  The moment I finally believed in myself, was the moment the words started to flow out of me.  The chapter titles and page count came into my head immediately.  I then began writing the content, and I did not stop until the book was completed.  It took me two months to write this book.

The writing process was incredible.  I loved writing the book because I felt a powerful energy with me throughout the process. I felt supported and aligned with what I was supposed to be doing for the first time in my life.  The words I was writing helped me through my own uncertainty of losing my high-level job and all the fears associated with that.  Writing the book helped me through a major transition in my life and career because I was constantly reminded by the words I was writing to stay disciplined and focused on what I really wanted in my heart, and to not let fear (fear of poverty, failure, etc.) or doubt stop me. 

All this feels like something beyond you took over.  Over and above what you share already, how has your outer life prompted and directed your attention to an inner shift?  

In the one year, it took to write and publish the book, I went through my own personal transformation.  I went from being in a state of fear and depression (from losing my job) to a place of happiness, peace, and fulfilment for the first time in as long as I can remember.  By taking the guidance of Your Hidden Light seriously and developing a disciplined practice of consciously aligning my inner thoughts, feelings, and beliefs daily, I became more relaxed, confident in my creative abilities, and truly happy.  This new way of being, improved my family life dramatically, and allowed me to achieve all my milestones to getting the book published easily and without stress or strain.  I have become an even stronger believer that it is only though changing your own inner thoughts, feeling, and beliefs, that you can most easily and effectively change the world around you.

After the book was published in November 2017, a professor at the business school at Suffolk University in Boston told me he was adding Your Hidden Light to his syllabus for his course – Happiness:  How to Get It for the Spring 2018 semester.    I am looking forward to the concepts of this book being taught to our future business leaders.

You incorporate quotes from a number of people and books in this work.  Let us know why you are drawn to these particular references?                                                                                          

I quote several people in the book from ancient philosophers, scientists, spiritual teachers, religious/spiritual texts, business people, entertainers, etc. who have all inspired me by their view of the world and the messages they gave to remind us that we are more powerful than we think we are.  All the quotes I use are inspirational, empowering, and relay powerful wisdom.  Your Hidden Light makes this wisdom easily understood and applicable in people’s everyday life.

Very cool.  Many people are unaware that anyone who inspires you is actually a mirror inviting you to allow qualities you admire in others to shine from inside you more consciously in a similar way. As part of your transformation process, are you noticing any shifts in sensory perception?                         

Since 2012,I have become more aware of the energy around me and more attune to my own inner guidance.  Prior to 2012, I never noticed or felt the energy of people or places, the way I do now.  I also feel very connected to the world around me and much more aware that my external reality is a reflection of what is inside of me.  Through my greater awareness, I regularly notice when I am receiving signs or guidance from the Universe. 

Your Hidden Light is meant to awaken you to your most powerful self, what I call your soul self or spiritual self, in order to most effectively create the life you desire.  When I became more in tune to this part of myself, I began to see the world in a different way.  I realized that everything I desired in the physical world came from the unseen spiritual world, which I could only access by going within myself.  The more I regularly turned inward through meditation, the stronger my intuition became.  In addition, I became a more powerful creator of my reality because I learned how to more effectively direct my energy.

Why would readers of Dreambuilders Australia like your book? How could they benefit from it?

Your Hidden Light is a go-to handbook for how you can reclaim the greatest power that has been lost to you – the power to create your own reality.  The purpose of the book is to awaken you to your spiritual nature and the powers you already possess to fulfill what is in your heart.  Your Hidden Light easily synthesizes ancient spiritual wisdom into practical application today.  You will learn the 4-step process to create your desired life with practical tips to help you along the way. You will walk away feeling empowered to live the life you want, and create the world you want to live in.  In addition, you will feel inspired to take at least one step towards making a positive change in your life. 

You offer man ymeaningful insights in your book. What advice would you offer people who feel stuck?

Regardless of the situation, feeling stuck does not feel good.  You feel frustrated, disappointed, dissatisfied, etc.  However, realize the “feeling” of being stuck is telling you what you don’t want.  You don’t want to be in that situation.  The most important step to take when you are feeling stuck is to consciously decide what it is you really want.  This is the first step in the 4-step process to creating what you desire. 

1)      Create your positive thought, desire, or intention. Write it down.  Get it clear in your head as to what you truly want.  Most people feel stuck because they don’t yet know what they want.  Take the time to create the vision for your life.  Some strategies to help you:         

•          Create a vision board – pull images from internet or magazines re: what you want to experience
•          Take a trip for inspiration
•          Talk to a friend, coach, mentor
•          Meditate – go inward and ask yourself what would make you happy

Once you have done the work of creating a strong, heartfelt, positive desire that you believe in then you are ready for change!

2)      Feel gratitude as if you have already received it

3)      Detach from your desire – know it’s coming

4)      Take actions that are aligned with your desire – you will know what actions to take by going inward and following your inner guidance.  When your actions are aligned with your inner guidance, it will not feel like work.

This is the 4-step process to creating your desires.  I found this to be the shortest and most effective route for getting unstuck.  You will find more details and strategies for each step in Your Hidden Light to help you master this process in your life.

What a gem! Short, concise steps or tips often trigger our own inner light bulbs and remind us we have to illuminate (or en-lighten) from within. Speaking of which, how does your view of time, love and money change as part of this book project?     

The process of writing this book and practicing the disciplines presented in the book, has opened me to the spiritual nature of the world I live in and my connection to the energy that connects everything.  As a result, my view and understanding on love has expanded beyond what I thought I knew was love, to an awareness of the unconditional nature of love.  I am finally beginning to understand what people mean when they say that “love is all there is”.  I now believe that love is how the Universe works – it is unconditional and gives you whatever is a match to what you are thinking and feeling.  I also view love as a frequency that is balanced, accepting, unconditional, and empowering.

I view money as energy like everything else now.  In order to attract money, you cannot feel   fear or a lack of money.  You need to align your inner being to the positive energy of what you want to attract.  This is something I consciously had to do when I decided to leave my high paying career to pursue what was in my heart.

I also have a relaxed sense of time now.  By understanding and practicing the 4-step creation process presented in the book, I began to realize that the Universe supports me, and things always happen at the right time, when I am ready.

Funny, its common for me to be in book stores, libraries or other places and have books literallly fall off the shelf in front me.  The universe has a fabulous sense of humor! Books also end up in my lap or cross my radar in a variety of ways to capture my attention. To me, this is always a sign from the universe the answer to some pending question or, something I need is to be found in or between the lines of the book. I would love to know your view on coincidence and synchronicity? 

I believe that the world we live in is intelligent, and there is a logic and process by which everything happens.  I believe that we are connected to everyone and everything including the Ultimate Creator (also referred to as God, Source Energy, Cosmic Consciousness, the Universe, etc) at a deeper unseen level.  As a result, what we call coincidence and synchronicity are actually connections.  For example, have you ever thought of anyone you haven’t seen or talked to in a while, and then a short time later, that person either calls or texts you?  That was not a coincidence, it was a connection.  Your thoughts get directed to that person, and through our connected energetic nature, the other personal receives the signal and connects with you unknowingly.  Coincidence and synchronicities, because they grab our attention, are reminders that we are all connected at a deeper level.

Everything you discuss is pointing to the humor in the shared experience of selective awareness.  How many times do we overlook what is always right here? It can seem so obvious from another vantage point. How is your sense of purpose during this lifetime shifting? 

My sense of purpose in this lifetime has shifted dramatically in the last year.  I was never clear on what I was supposed to be doing, until I went in search of it.  By writing this book, living and sharing its principles, and experiencing a new sense of happiness and freedom, I know my purpose is to inspire others to find their own power, truth, and joy.   

Another sticking point for many people is fear and how to manage it. Gaining insight into the experience of others can offer valuable insight or inspiration. What is your greatest fear before writing the book and what is your greatest fear? 

My greatest fear was what people would think, especially those who knew me.  Everyone knew me as a corporate finance business woman, not a spiritual self-help author. Now, I can honestly say, I have moved through my biggest fears.  I do not feel fear right now.  However, when I do feel fear, I know it is a barrier I need to move though in order to achieve what I really desire.

Share anything else you feel would benefit Dreambuilder Australia readers.

I realized that before I wrote this book, while I was a successful finance professional, I was hiding who I truly was.  I was hiding my light.  Why do we feel like we have to hide?  I wanted to find what truly lit me up.  Your Hidden Light reflects my journey and understanding and is helping me to shine my light.  My desire for you is that you find what lights you up in your life.  Your Hidden Light:  A Practical Guide to Creating Your Desired Life will provide you with the wisdom, tools, and tips you need to make the change you desire in your life in order for you to become the person you are meant to be.

Thanks Raana for being so genuine and offering the world a glimpse into the nature and details of your personal journey. I invite visitors here to include your book in their own path to deeper fulfillment. 

Your Hidden Light:  A Practical Guide to Creating Your Desired Life is available on Amazon.com and iBooks.  To learn more please visit www.yourhiddenlight.com I especially love how you list such inspirational resources.  I'm familliar with many but not all. Appreciate your guidance. Reading offers subtle or not-so-subtle reminders of what we are ready for right now. Love the revelations we trigger within ourselves when we are open and receptive. Much love and joy to you in your endeavours! May your life continue to be enriched and worries be few.

Master diplomacy

Diplomacy is often viewed as a useful skill in negotiations and handling people. You may understand diplomacy as figuring out the right words to say at the right time in the way that is least offensive to another person's beliefs or ways of seeing the world.  As you come to think there could be more to diplomacy than the obvious, then what?

Reflect on your use of tact in interactions. How and what do you withhold or hide? What is transparent and to whom? Explore the nature of your own communication through, to and by you.  Be clearer about vibration, how it shapes what's really going on in your life.  There is nothing you cannot know or be when you trust fully.

What if you could:

*stop second-guessing yourself when it counts? 

*master diplomacy in a whole new way? 

*intuit exceptions to a given rule and see underlying reasons for rules themselves? 

*see you create ideas of 'right' and 'wrong' that help and hinder you? 

*feel good and love life regardless of unfolding life situations?

Be aware signs all around you exist to guide you to master self-confidence and tap into talents and wisdom  you forget is inside.  Come to view inspirational mentors themselves as stepping stones to gaining new insight into yourself and living more fully. Imagine your ideas of right and wrong change based on where you are not for reasons you think, but based on how you feel.  Imagine certain life experience makes you feel as though you get NOWHERE... this is why you are NOW- HERE. Explore where your actions support your intention or not. Create powerful shifts in behaviour.