Restlessness is a sign of transformation

Notice at the perfect moment, light penetrates like a catalyst to clarify what disconnects from all that is real and matters in heart. By affirming our dignity and allowing others theirs, we are able to honor ourselves, connect as equals, move forward with insight.

Earlier in life, I often heard myself saying things like;

"Everything happens for a reason"

"It was for the best"

"It was a blessing in disguise"

(all of which were relevant in context...)

In passing, such phrases sound optimistic and seem harmless. Yet, with maturity, I realized I had been taught to dismiss very real concerns and feelings worthy of considerable attention. People would cross my boundaries, be hurtful, or behave in ways that went against my core values or intuition and I would be overly tolerant and accepting or too easily forgiving. Making light of difficult situations was a superficial way of glossing over issues. This felt better in the short-term, but ultimately, it solved nothing and left hidden issues to linger. In fact, as I go down the rabbit hole, it appears I mastered the art of pretending things were fine when they were clearly not.

Part of my awakening has involved recognizing I would hide or avoid anger that deserved to be felt and expressed, Rather than working through hard emotions or confronting unresolved issues, I used to simply downplay or dismiss them. Believing traumatic events must serve as “learning experiences” or focusing on the silver lining behind every negative experience, did not allow me to experience the fullness of the wisdom they held. Assuming I had a handle on it was how I hid from insecurities. It was a clever way I pulled the wool over my eyes until I was ready to go deeper.

I went through stages where I was convinced spiritual practices I engage in are always positive. Feeling detached also came to mean I was not fully conscious or present. I was very good at focusing on the positive or being overly optimistic. Had no idea I was projecting negative feelings. At some stage, it dawned positive thinking is not the way to overcome problems. Facing shadows is far more effective. Rather than attempting to “rise above” emotions, I learned to feel, heal and move through them.

Pride is difficult to detect in ourselves because it is a refusal to admit wrong or see a need to change. As the light of our dignity shines more brightly, we realize that we don’t have to be perfect. Showing vulnerability and humility invites stronger connection. We move from the superficial into soul-level relationships. We grow approachable rather than seem intimidating. We don’t see ourselves as better or worse than anyone else. We are the same.

It is freeing to hold ourselves with the dignity that comes from simply being human. We don’t need to achieve “greatness” to have worth and value. Greatness is innate . We might be inclined to seek excellence because it feels meaningful, energizing and expansive, but not because it defines who we are.

It dawns pride that drives us at certain stages of life prevents us from acknowledging our human vulnerabilities. When driven by shame or illusion of inferiority, its uncomfortable to say, “I’m sorry, I was wrong, I made a mistake.” When pride rules, we believe we’re always right or we fear backing down. This makes it difficult to know and sustain intimacy.

A self-centred culture teaches we must achieve self-actualization (enlightenment) to be truly happy. This quest also contributes to a tendency to avoid difficult or painful emotions. Rather than trying to solve problems in environments that cause suffering, self-centred culture teaches people that they alone are responsible for their destiny. At certain stages, maybe you relate?

What stands out is that negative thoughts and feelings serve a purpose. They do not exist so we avoid them. Rather, they point to a diminshed self image, deep hurt, sadness and that emotions that require acceptance and validation. Negative thoughts exist so we use those thoughts to propel positive actions. Simply putting on rose-colored glasses and ignoring deeper issues does not make them go away. Choosing instead to forge friendships, look people directly in the eye, be candid and share vulnerability, are keys to being more assertive, self-loving and decisive when it counts.

Ultimately, discomfort is a soul-level sign that something is not right and needs to change. If you think you lessen discomfort by simply avoiding it, or normalizing abnormal behaviour, situations causing distress will remain. Yet, to recognize the nature of our unconscious behaviours, is to see restlessness is itself a sign of our ongoing quantum transformation. We are catching up with the light.

Return to Love

Notice what it is to be truly good to yourself. This is about more than simply resting periodically, drinking before you get thirsty. Its about stopping to smell the flowers often, because you can, not because you have to. Its about not only dreaming of what is out of reach, but taking steps to taste the dream again, as if for the first time. Its about fearlessly taking risks to go that extra distance for good reason only to discover there was never any real risk involved. Afterall, Love is all we ever think we want, need and seek and its always here, nearby, ever-present, inviting us to see and embody it.

Life beyond the mind

Notice that the moment arises when you no longer follow things in the mind but rather, shift to what you feel (consciously experience). This may shake "your" world up so much that you ask yourself how to move through "the world." You can no longer navigate based on what you think or believe. It dawns that any belief you could possibly have is simply "you" taking an opportunity to feel what its like. That moment, you get a very visceral idea of the "me": the judge, the commentator, that which assumes and attributes blame. The little "me" cannot fathom another way to be other than its thinking way. When you ask "how" to function in the world, the answer is: there is no answer. Nothing prepares "you" for this. One simply is and moves through worlds. Something else is guiding you, something the little self could never know even if it was told. Its no big deal. It simply is not anything related to "your" thoughts and expectations and reperatoire of conditioned . One no longer asks how to integrate new understanding or awakeness into life and dimensions. Asking has no place here. One simply lives, breathes and flows. Being awake is simple when we do not believe whatever thoughts we have about life. All sound is swimming in silence. That is the sound of reality. A thinking mind can never know how silence operates. That silence is what mind is seeking to know.

Move beyond assumptions

Notice a widespread assumption is that Truth is a hidden thing to reach or acquire. It is assumed that the Truth is separate from us, somewhere other than where we are. One belief is enlightened people know something that "I/ you/we don't." What happens when things shift and it feels like everybody knows something I/you/we don't? Even this is a form of knowing. We tell ourselves we are seeking what we really want to know while secretly, we know a whole lot. We know we judge ourselves as worthy or unworthy, guilty or innocent or are attempting to be something we are not. We gimpse pockets of knowing. We are taught to spend our lives seeking. Even if at some stage we take the spiritual path, we tend to seek/acquire knowledge in books and through teachers because we are taught to assume "somebody knows." Even as teachers invite us to know who we are, then we assume the teacher knows. We think our own freedom or liberation is some missing piece of knowlege that is going to remove our insecurity. Yet, everything we think we know or not is simply a product of our own conditioning, nothing more or less. Where did we learn our concepts, morals, ethics, beliefs in anything to reach "enlightenment?" Many people simply adopt conditioning without seeing fully. What can we know with absolute certainty? Nothing. (We may know with greater or lesser certainty, but nothing with absolute certainty). When you know you do not know or cannot know anything, you come to know oneness (Truth) without effort. When we embark on spiritual inquiry looking for an answer, to write a book about it or tell everyone, it leads us to not knowing who we are. Ego cannot grasp this. Its impossible to know who or what you are. We can only be who we are knowingly, in silence. Be here Now.

What makes Life worth Living

Notice what makes life worth living is being touched by the magic of life. Call it the unexplainable mystery that inspires sparks of excitement. Call it love, the palpable or visceral sensations of joy, acceptance, belonging, the energy we radiate as it hits we inter-connect, we are seen, heard and valued. A pivotal frequency shift occurs as we begin to love ourselves so deeply that nothing fazes us. We fearlessly make choices that a former version of us would never even contemplate. We surrender completely to the unseen support of the universe. We give and receive energy without judgement and strengthen boundaries that demonstrate we reclaim our true power. This is the moment we draw strength and courage from within ourselves that enables us to face what another part of us might interpret as our greatest gift. This brings true illumination