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Entries in self-acceptance (23)

Wednesday
Jul052023

25 Ways to Turn Ordinary into Extraordinary

Everyone goes through life with choices to be ordinary and remain that way or to activate the extraordinary within themselves (and others). Consider 25 ways to Turn your version of ordinary into extraordainary:

1. Clarify Vision -

People who identify a vision are more likely to realize this as a purpose.  To know what you want allows moulding the dream. Vague desires and beliefs lead to uncertain outcomes. It is this sense of direction that gives them the staying power, and collaborate with the universe to allow magic to happen.

2. Develop Expertise -

Whatever the vision, be driven to research and know the field to the best of your ability. Be the best you can be. There is no job too small to strive for excellence. There is innate understanding self-mastery is part of evolution and money is a by-product of the value they offer.

3. Focus -

People who know how to focus realize that they cannot do everything. They focus on what enables them to feel most alive and inspired in their chosen direction. 

4. Positive Attitude and Perseverance -

Extraordinary people have a broad perspective.  They take action and have confidence being the bext they can be is inevitable. They know action is required before feedback is aquired and changes can be made. This attitude allows them to persevere and be resilient when things do not follow a linear path.

5. Be Flexible -

Success is not about being closed- or single-minded. Sometimes changing course makes sense in changing environment. Turns iut, success is a mindset not a destination. It arises as a feeling of self-acceptance from engaging in what we feel passionate about. This feeling may arise after changing plans or directions. Successful people know that if their reasons for doing what they are doing changes, then changing behaviour is natural.

6. Master Time -

Making the most of time we give ourselves is the way to make the most of life.  Extraordinary people value their time and see the direct connection between how they spend time, respect schedules and expsnd energy. 

7. Communicate well -

People who can communicate effectively excel in life. Speaking the same language does not necessarily mean people understand or truly listen to each other. What makes them effective is that they are clear about and sensitive to the outcome they want to get from their communication and are flexible in their method of communication to achieve their outcome. They know how to build rapport. 

8. Nurture Courage -

We've all heard the phrase "No pain, no gain."  Not many actually go that extra mile. Those who do make life worth living. Successful people have the courage to put their vision into practice and courage to continue. They are willing to not only take risks to fail and face fears. They are not afraid to fall if it means moving forward.

9. Be Generous -

Extraordinary people are generous givers. They know and are convinced of the "secret" that the more you give, the more you receive as long as you are genuine about your gifts. They operate on the principle embodied by Zig Ziglar's quote, "You will get all you want in life if you help enough other people get what they want."

10. Build Self-Esteem -

Extraordinary people believe they deserve their success and know anything is possible. They understand that a mistake is something that they do and not who they are.  They realize that self-esteem is a state of mind and choosing to uplift and encourage others uplifts and energizes themselves. 

11. Be Proactive -

We all know of people who have potential or talk a big game but accomplishes nothing. Those who spend all their time thinking about doing something will never succeed. People who ignite the extraordinary in themselves are doers and not talkers. They don't wait for conditions to be perfect before they take action. They take the plunge, observe the feedback and then modify their further actions.

12. Nourish Confidence -

Confidence guides extraordinary people take action. Like the chicken and the egg, confidence helps you achieve your goals which in turn makes you more confident. A great way to be confident is remembering your past successes and overcoming your fear of failure.

13. Read -

Regular reading inspires extraordinary people.  Sometimes they read the stories of others they admire to awaken these qualities in themselves.   Accessing more books makes a big difference in our own expansion, understanding and open-mindedness. Certain books will help you become a true expert in your field, others nourish your passion or challenge conditioned or limiting beliefs.

14. Trust Intuition -

Trusting the "gut" brings out extraordinary aspects of ourselves.  They may not be easily explained rationally. People who feel successful learn to harness the power of their subconscious mind.  They send it "orders" from the conscious mind. This involves mentally visualizing a desired outcome and then being present to take in the data and information that will become the ingredients for the subconscious to deliver "orders" that were sent. 

15. Be Curious -

Two people are running a race and they come up to an immense wall blocking their path. One person sees the wall and starts getting down on himself for wasting his time and decides to quit the race before he wastes even more time. The other person immediately thinks about what the possibilities are for getting over the wall. Will he/she climb it, break through it, dig under it, etc? No matter which option he/she chooses, he/she immediately acts on their decision and collects feedback. Extraordinary people adopt an attitude of curiosity and they truly feel that they can always learn. They adopt great qualities of others.

16. Accept yourself fully -

Polonius had it right when he said: "To thine own self be true". People who awaken to the extraordinary within don't pretend to be something they are not. This allows them to express their creativity freely and not worry about hiding who they really are. The best way to accept yourself is to genuinely appreciate and accept others. If you tend to judge others, you do not accept yourself either. Self-rejection prevents being who we are.

17. Create Big Dreams -

Bioographies and autobiogrpahies of extraordinary people reveal they are motivated by their visions. This is one of the reasons they blossom. They are not afraid to dream big. If you want to know whether someone is extraordinary, ask them about their dreams. Ask yourself. The more clarity you add, the more you can feel what it is to realize this vision now in this present moment, the easier it is for dreams to manifest.

18. Be Well-Rounded and Balanced -

Extraordinary people are well-rounded. They live healthy lives, become financially independent, nurture meaningful relationships, develop self-mastery and accomplish their professional goals. They are willing to surrender and change plans if it feels right. They know that sacrificing one key area to achieve another will not help them maximize their potential. 

19. Create a Broad Network -

Successful people understand the importance of relationships and how it is one of the most important factors in achieving your goals. They also realize helping others with no expectation of reward is part of creating a closeknit network. Those who constantly take without giving usually do very poorly on building a solid network.

20. Be Enthusiastic -

A sure sign of someone extraordinary is their enthusiasm or zest for life. They wake up in the morning excited about their day because they know it is going to bring them one step closer to achieving their dream. Extraordinary people tend to be leaders and go-getters because others are attracted to their enthusiasm and become followers hoping to experience the same excitement and energy.

21. Admit Mistakes -

Taking personal responsibility and reclaiming inner power only happens as we admit our mistakes. When something goes wrong and you blame other people or make excuses, you give your power away unnecessarily. Great people admit when they are wrong so they can focus on the solution.

22. Feel Abundant -

Extraordinary people do not view finite resources where achieving happiness and success for yourself means denying someone else happiness and success. They believe that there is enough to go around and it is more about creating value. This is the quality that allows them to be happy for other people's successes. This mindset also encourages the empowerment of others.

23. Live in Integrity -

Heroes are people who triumph. Think of all the heroes you know (in movies, books, and real-life). Don't they all act with honesty and integrity? Aren't they usually generous with others and frugal with themselves? Doesn't everyone look up to them? Being a hero that triumphs in life is no different. People who feel successful are in control. They know they ALWAYS have a choice. They don't feel victimized by their genetics, history and/or circumstances and are aware how they feel now determines where to next. They write the script to their lives.

24. Surround yourself with people who stretch you-

We learn much about others by their company (entourage).  Watching people you know and note who they spend the most time with. Some say a person's salary is usually the average of the five people they hang out with the most.  Some say we are becoming the qualities of the 5 people we spend the most time with. Surround yourself with people who inspire you.  Tune in. Adopt their beliefs and habits. Extraordinary people are self-reliant. They don't need permission to do what they want and they don't give other people permission to slow them down.

25. Be an attentive Listener -

People who listen effectively are able to hear and understand the needs of others and focus energy on meeting those needs. The fastest way to be a good conversationalist is to listen well and ask relevant questions.  Extraordinary people are patient and attentive. They get a handle on their emoations, take interest in making the unconscious conscious so they can heal.  They have learned to control their emotions and consciously put themselves in a resourceful state. They understand that they can't change other people or what's happening to them but they can change how they respond to the external.  This is about emotional intelligence.

Saturday
Feb052022

The Truth of Oneness

Notice no separate events, relationships or "other(s)" exist. Any conflict you detect with another is a conflict inside with yourself. Any fear you harbour about sharing your feelings or perception points to what needs healing. At a pivotal moment, it dawns that nothing is left to fear. Right here, it dawns nothing remains but love.

Monday
Aug022021

15 Signs of radical life shifts

In light of ongoing energetic shifts (seen as global changes), reflect on these 15 signs of radical life shifts which are ongoing;

1.     Tune more into feeling energy

2.     Discern things based on harmony and disharmony

3.     Recognize that your external judgment reflects self-rejection

4.     Stop being triggered by criticism 

5.     Let go of self-deception, pretense to live in integrity and truth

6.     Know self- compassion and show others radical compassion 

7.     Forgive easily (until nothing exists to forgive)

8.     See everything as a cosmic mirror 

9.     Relax more, breathe easier

10.  Experience shifts in perception from fear to love

11.  Make more confident decisions

12.  Spend more time in nature

13.  Go from randomness to coincidence to only synchronicity

14.  Laugh more, experience the lighter side of life

15.  Exist in frequent states of gratitude and self-appreciation

Saturday
Feb202021

13 Benefits of facing your inner shadows

The inner shadow can be viewed as aspects of our true self we come to reject.  We resist these parts of our personality and do not allow ourselves to see them. When we, as children, internalize messages in our subconscious, they can take shape in adult life as emotional triggers. We may tell ourselves we do not know why we react as we do. Yet, a hidden part does know. We often make choices out of fear.

For instance, if one of your shadows formed around speaking your truth, when people around you speak openly and honestly, this may evoke restlessness, resentment, even terror. You may feel threatened but unclear as to why, and disregard the emotions and discomfort.

Upon deeper self-reflection, hiding your feelings may be an unconscious strategy to avoid suffering. It may point to a fear of safety or survival. This may cause you to stop speaking up, to decide your feelings are unimportant, that you are unlovable, invisible or flawed. Such misperceptions arise from denying shadows.

Consider 13 Benefits of facing your shadows:

1. Grow aware of your triggers

Noticing triggers is a step to joining the dots between your thoughts, feelings. They offer clues to where a sense of  wholeness is fractured. They remind us that it is our thoughts about the way things should be that make our lives difficult or uncomfortable.  People we encounter will continue to press our buttons until we realize what it is we do not wish to know about ourselves, yet.  They guide us to our source of freedom.  Any situation that evokes discomfort is what we seek, an entrance into a lost or unseen part of ourselves.

2. Re-activate your feeling centres

Many people have lost touch with their inner truth. They forget what it feels like. You may be conditioned to doubt or second guess true feelings. When taught to favor the left brain hemisphere, we favor the logical, rational role modelling or social beliefs and behaviours we have been given. We may downplay or devalue our right brain and creative capacities or "other ways of seeing" outside the conditioned comfort zone. This may relate to society's ideas of which life decisions "are best for us." Left-brain ideas are ego-based. Focusing on external advice or ignoring signs and signals of our bodies loses touch with the feeling truth or inner harmony unrelated to ego.

3. Stop being overly optimistic

Being overly optimistic suggests we are missing part of the bigger picture. When we only see the good, we reject aspects of self. Sometimes we are taught to be overly positive and avoid the negative.  Avoidance is a defense mechanism and reveals something is missed. As you notice a tendency to favor the positive, shadow-work is useful.  Ignoring things increases their density. Look at recurrent nightmares. What we resist, persists to invite us to make the unconscious, conscious.  Manifestations of what you reject grow stronger. If you resist your dark side, it grow more solid, takes shape in ways you cannot ignore.

4. Realize you could be right, or could be free

As you explore deeper reasons for anger and fear, this can trigger moments of awakening that lead to greater authenticity, creativity, and emotional freedom. Finding pleasure in the way things are, rather than the way you think they should be, inspires others to act in ways that surprise us. being open to deeper insight into yourself accelerates self- growth.

5. Let go of desires for love, approval & appreciation

As we disconnect from feeling centres and subtle senses, this is like overriding our inner knowing.  As we face the sense of conflict that arises, we begin to recognize that any desires we hold are unnecessary.  That is, we are what we are seeeking. This is the beginning of letting go of desire for love, approval and appreciation because it dawns we are never missing anything.

6. Recognize spiritual bypassing

In the case that we justify going against our feelings by saying "this is an exercise in uncondicional love & forgiveness," this may turn out to be a case of spiritual bypassing (SB).  SB is  is like any other form of avoidance that rewards us with a false feeling of security and happiness, while undermining our deeper path of self-growth and transformation. John Welwood coined the term, 'spiritual bypassing' to mean: "the tendency to use spiritual ideas and practices to sidestep or avoid facing unresolved emotional issues, psychological wounds, and unfinished developmental tasks." Making the unconscious conscious is part of spiritual integration.

7. Integrate heart and soul

Bringing uncomfortable issues to the surface is helping to realize that emotions only have a hold over us when we allow it. Timeless practices such as meditation, mantras, sacred geometry, journalling, automatic writing, dream journalling and immersing in nature help us to integrate the deepest desires of the heart and soul. This draws our attention to any illusions of separaton we perpetuate in thought, word and deed.

8.  Rebuild inner trust

Imagine the case where you befriend someone and they seem like one type of person and then later reveal they behave in ways that make you feel uncomfortable. If you trust your feelings, and are true to yourself, that friendship may diminish or disappear from your life. Whereas if you go against your inner compass, you are eroding the trust you have in yourself.  

9. Strengthen listening 

In life, there may be occasions where you feel unheard or ignored by people at work, in family or even in passing.  Being aware of feeling ignored is tuning into deeper  reasons and buried feelings of resentment and sadness about being devalued.  As you live more based on feelings, your being feels more heard and the external world reflects this back.

10. Sharpen intuition

Intuition is the language of the soul, your essence.  Living fully requires tuning in and living soely based on intuition without over-riding our inner knowing.

11. Jumpstart self-rediscovery 

Until deep self-reflection happens, you may spend a great deal of time researching, creating or changing a sense of purpose and not really feel a sense of lasting clarity or direction. Purpose may simply be related to  skills or experience you seem to have and overlook internal cues. Self-discovery only happens when you are tuned into your feelings. 

12. Unleash inner genius

To become the best version of you, and truly free of what holds this back from realizing inner genius, the path involves uncovering and integrating your inner shadow aspects. They undermine your transformation into into the physical. Call if your soul's destiny or whatever you like.  The most authentic version of you already exists but it is up to you to take steps to experience transfiguration. Every being has a unique path.

13. Accept yourself fully

Accepting who you are at the core involves living in alignment. Every journey to complete self-love is unique. Some paths can involve soul retrieval.  The key is to walk the Path and know situations that present only change from the moment we have learned and integrated what those energies or lessons have to teach us. Accepting yourself fully allows you to turn inward and experience the peace that already exists within.  That peace is immovable, unmoving, ever-present.

Contact us to explore shadow-work on a whole new level

Thursday
Nov212019

5 Tips to reframe rejection & criticism

It may not always be clear, but we always have choices about how to respond to what is going on around us and also to what is being directed towards us. Being open to explore our own role in the dynamic is important also. Breathwork often sheds light into our beliefs and patterns so we can change what we outgrow. Consider these 5 tips to reframe rejection and criticism;

1. Do not take things personally

Don Miguel Ruiz expands on this in a fabulous book entitled, The Four Agreements. When criticized, do not allow criticism or rejection to trigger emotions. We can respond with "thanks for sharing that..." or, "I am happy to discuss things calmly with you when I do not feel attacked," or, " Would you like to rephrase that?" If the person is unwilling, turn attention away, leave the room and refuse to channel energy into this.  (Differs from withdrawing in silence)

2. Ask the individual to repeat the negative comment

In many cases, the individual will not repeat it as s/he knows we are onto their game. If the individual does repeat the criticism, we can respond, 'we are not sure we heard that correctly.' Please repeat that... [or #3]

3. Say directly, "Sounds like you wish me to feel badly about myself..."

The individual may say no, no no, just offering constructive criticism or, yes I am! You are a _____! ect. This is an opportunity to take a deep breath and say to yourself "I am not my body, not my mind, not my emotions, not any name someone would like me to believe." (Conscious living is about knowing we have a choice about what to believe and how to feel)

4. Say, "You can say what you like, but I am not choosing to let that in. "

This would not be stated in a way to taunt someone on or nudge them into an argument. It is simply a way of standing our ground. (To ourselves, we can say. 'I am a confident person who is worthy, talents. We must also realize that the way we are being treated is reflecting how we feel about ourselves inside. If we want external behaviour of others toward us to change, we must be willing to take steps to explore how and why we feel about ourselves.)

5. "Say, " did you know critical people reserve the harshest criticism for themselves?

In fact, every instance we criticize others, we are actually making a statement about our own discomfort, pain, fear or inadequacy.  Whenever we criticize others, we are actually relfecting how dissatisfied we are with ourselves? That is a shame. We need not be mean or harsh. We can simply choose to be strong by loving ourselves enough not to be affected by false information. Loving and accepting ourselves fully means we love others enough to show them love rather than reacting in fear. This is done though an open heart.