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Entries in relationships (32)

Saturday
Oct142023

Dream Analysis of the Week- Rats & Relationships

Dream:

My dream was in my old bedroom at my childhood home. My sister was in bed beside me. I was scared of rats getting into the room. I thought they would come thru the skirting boards. My uncle came in checking everything was secure. He could find evidence that they were trying to get in. There were people from work in the room ensuring me that there was no way they could get in. They even pulled up the carpet to show me no holes. I kept looking at the closet thinking they’ll get in thru there. But I look at the floor in the closet and it looked secure. I was terrified. My sister took out a notebook and was adding up sums. She showed me how long I had left to live. I didn’t know why she was showing me this. It was all mathematical calculations.

Insight:

Why fear boredom? it's good when it enters your life. Boredom is a transitional state, a stepping-stone to the next stage of personal growth. If you understand its wisdom, you can use it to fuel self-reflection or spark your creativity or take life in new directions.

Are you "skirting?" Unable to advance specific interests? "To smell a rat" suggests you are convinced someone is trying to deceive you.  Even if you do not initially see proof of this, to focus on negative thoughts can invite in what you do not want.  Are you making something out of nothing? What happens if you pay no attention to bothersome thoughts?  The mind may be playing tricks.  You only experience what aligns with vibrations of love or fear. 

It appears you crave a sense of security, while your current experience echoes you feel unsafe and insecure.  The floor is like the foundation of your beliefs. You may question the basis of your trust. A carpet often echoes sense of warmth, comfort. Notice if you continue to doubt,  then contentment will continue to elude you.

If your "biological clock" is ticking or you feel time is running out to have a family, its not up to others to decide or impose their ideas of what is right for you and when.  Any hole is a two-edged sword: it reminds you that you are whole and complete with or without offspring.  The hole may also echo empliness you feel or low self esteem if you would like to hide your head in a hole. Don't be an ostrich and bury your head in the sand, hoping your problems will disappear. Facing, reframing them, is far more effective.

The bedroom is symbolic of the heart. If you close off the heart, fear being vulnerable, it is not open and cannot let anyone in to create a reliable friendship or romantic relationship. Confusion about unresolved feelings, or desire for intimacy suggest you are in process of tapping into and integrating lost childhood memories.  Get intimate with yourself,.  True intimacy in the external follows.

We all have different relationships with our siblings, or sister, from close to distant relationships.  Review your relationship with your sister. How is this changing or how has it changed? How would you like it to change? Do you feel she interferes in your affairs? Do you trust or question her advice? Have reason to trust or distrust?

A dream about your sister (that you do not have a relationship with) may signal your longing for connection and union.  Turns out, in the Bible Proverbs 7:4, it states a foolish woman "does not stay at home". This is sometimes interpreted as a sister who is causing trouble within the family.  One who causes trouble for family may also disrupt your life. Dream dialogue with older sisters sometimes points to our deep-seated desires for reliable advice and unvoiced concerns that go though our mind. We can be the sister we are seeking and see if this mirrors back.  We have opportunity to create a new kind of dialogue. Remind yourself it takes two to tango. How are you growing in her midst? How does she benefit? Does it teach you about avoidance or connection? Or is dialogue strained or non-existent?

We dream of extended family members when we are transitioning away from the expectations or influences of the immediate family. The uncle can represent a new way of going out into the world to provide for ourselves. At the same time, the word 'uncle' is associated with giving in (to "what" & with whom?- meditate).

We offer Dream Consultations on single and multipl dreams as individual sessions or a tool as part of integrative  psychotherapy. We also offer an Astral, Lucid & Dream Yoga Course.  Contact us for details.

Sunday
Oct082023

Dream Analysis of the Week- Horse stuck in fence

Dream:

So, I was walking along this path with a friend or 2, looking for something it seemed, somehow I had the feeling it was a misty morning. Anyway, we turn up this other path and I look up and see a bit of a commotion. so I hurry up and then see the horror or this bay brown horse that had somehow got its front legs tangled in the fence wire. But at a height just higher than my head. So, I am now this side of the fence, the horse is that side of the fence but its head is this side. There are a few people trying in vain to cut the wire with an old garden scissors, but nobody seems to stress.  I recognise the boy with the scissors as being in the same school my daughter was in well I see this and go into Panic mode. we must free this horse asap else it won't make it. I shout to those in that side of the fence to wake up and hurry up and get pliers from the house or garage behind them and cut the wire from this horses legs. Then I get a Christian lecture from this boy’s mother about my language. And all I am thinking is please not now just get pliers. And I am feeling so confused with the mentality of all these people. And what about this poor horse. Helpless. I woke up.

Insight:

Invite you to start with the emotions that stand out: helpless, confusion, panic, horror, fear (of death).

Brown animals as totems echo strength, stability, and endurance. The moment a dream animal exerts effort to escape a trap or entanglement, it warns you to pay attention to what you resist releasing in waking life.  If your relationship with self needs some work, to embark in a healthy, committed long-term or deepen an existing relationship, raising self- esteem is key.  If during childhood, you were often given what you wanted without much effort, you may have to learn assertivenss, learn to communicate.

When fear is evoked in nature, we may be ready to integrate a new level of awareness into our lives. How do we cultivate more self-love? Do a task you have been postponing.  Put yourself out there and create a kind of community to reflect self-love.  How can we be more autonomous in the way that we are living our lives? How do we speak to ourselves (self-talk)? What is our entourage like? Is there camaraderie, loyalty?  Are you nourishing soul growth?

Fence dream symbols often echo or emotional or relational boundaries. Are you ‘caught up’ in situation that evokes discomfort? If you or someone you know is at the ‘breaking point,’ what gets you over the hump is the decision that “I must feel better.” The revelation happens that there are things that must change for you to live a different life.  We learn about people when we observe them relationally.

Dream pliers are symbolic of a deep desire to. fix something. Resolve your family conflicts.  When we can accept ourselves despite our flaws then we can love a partner despite our flaws. People who judge themselves harshly also judge others harshly.   Choosing well and discerning well requires you know your needs well.  Are you a communicator and is this person open.

Scissors in a dream are part of your quest to eliminate anything non-essential from your lifestyle. This can be feelings and thoughts that you keep, yet disregard. Figure out what you cannot live without in a relationship and do not settle.  What is healthy is people who know themselves, who are kind and who communicate.

If you believe your needs are less important, then you are prone to co-dependent relationships and may have abandonment.  If you think your needs are more important than someone else’s, then you are selfish.  We are not given many examples of enduring love, of what happens after the honeymoon phase.  Everyone deep down is capable of that.

Our greatest opportunity for healthy soul growth is through relationships.  A bad relationship is not good for health.  Trust, safety are foundational.  Do you want to be a great partner.  If you do not feel protected, if you do not feel like you have the freedom to express yourself, then control may be an issue. When we support each other to deal with our own stuff reveals we can be here without having to control a situation. (i.e. Do you want me to give you a hug, support, you listen or do you want my advice?)  What is the source of your beliefs, morals? Religion? If you feel stuck in an area of your life, you have the power, ingenuity,  resourcefulness and awareness to get yourself out. The nature and pace of change is up to you. Nobody can rescue you but yourself. Everything in the dreamechoes a part of your state of mind.

We offer Dream Consultations for single and multiple dreams as well as an Astral, Lucid and Dream Yoga Course.

 

Saturday
Sep162023

Dream Analysis of the Week- Dating

Dream:

Dreams about relationships reflect our sense of well-being and balance.  In some cultures, dating more than one person, even having more than one wife or husband, is common and acceptable.  In other cultures, monogamy is the norm and dating or having relationships with more than one person at once is viewed as unacceptable even grounds for separation or divorce.

So, dating multiple people at the same time can draw attention to indecisiveness, fear of commitment, dishonesty, fear of judgement. Reflect on what authenticity means to you (living in integrity), in relation to someone else's idea of how you should live. You may be ready to take a new level of responsibility in your life, decide what you want, regardless of norms, external advice or previous choices made to appease others. 

Buildings symbolize aspects of our inner architecture, that is, how energy and emotions are flowing through us. When we are undergoing change and transformation, we may dream aspects of our life are under construction (in flux) and link this to specific rooms in our house. To remodel our home reflects the desire for or actual ongoing changes in how we define happiness and fulfillment.

To sense many rooms echos the dreamer is willing to explore the inner self further. Each room in the house may symbolize an aspect of the dreamer’s personality. There may exist some parts of the psyhe the dreamer is reluctant to explore. The dream could echo the dreamer is ready to uncover hidden emotions or thoughts. The desire to grow and expand may be in opposition to feelings of uncertainty, feeling scattered or overwhelmed.

Each room in the house could represent different emotions or psychological states of the dreamer. For example, a cluttered or chaotic room may indicate emotional turmoil, while a serene and well-organized room may reflect inner peace and harmony.  Note the character traits of the different dream characters and how you feel about them. They may each echo an aspect of your psyche. How do you feel about "braces," appearances, judgement of straight or crooked teeth? This points to possible self-rejection.

A house may also echo the dreamer's journey towards integration and wholeness. It suggests the need to embrace and accept all aspects of oneself, recognizing that each room, much like each personality trait, contributes to the overall makeup of the dreamer’s identity.

Among our services, we offer in-depth Dream Consultations which also cover a series of dreams, using dreams as tools for self-discovery.  We also offer an Astral, Lucid & Dream Yoga Course. Contact us for further information.

Thursday
Aug102023

Listen to the Soul


On the surface, we may appear poor and aspire to get something different, something more. Yet, only a rich person can be poor. This 'rich' is not about money. Material riches are not true wealth. If ambition remains, we are poor. What we have or do not have is not the point. When we have enough, desire and dissatisfaction disappear. The vanishing of desire is the meaning of "enough". An analogy can be made with fears we adopt. The letting go of fears is a way to expand spiritual wealth, which allows other kinds of abundance to flow freely.

Spiritual wealth is an intangible kind of richness. To nourish spiritual richness is not about going to church or adopting a particular faith or religion. Its about living by universal principles. It is about qualities and experiences that nourish love, respect and acceptance, trustworthiness, honesty, truthfulness, peace of mind, compassion, contentment, honour, playfulness, love and spontaneity. If we do not embody a reservoir of spiritual wealth, then no amount of money or material gain can make us happy. Spiritual wealth guides us to live in integrity with intuition, the voice of inner wisdom. It guides us to our own source of happiness which is then mirrored energetically in the external.

In light of global upheavals, many people fear uncertainty, fear losing points of reference, find themselves hesitating to move forward in a soul-guided way. We are taught to doubt ourselves, question our ability to survive, question how we can continue living in the lifestyle we have been even if we give parts of it up. The prospect of stepping outside the familliar triggers deep wounds, issues or patterns of our respective lineages or unseen blocks.

If we choose to listen to the soul, when we put up an emotional wall, this is an soul-guided invitation to decode and dismantle it to grow as a soul. Facing fear is the process of rediscovering true unlimited richness inside ourselves. It is part of taking full and complete responsibility for our role in creating where we are and all our conditions or accepting them. Its knowing all is possible. Making choices that whole-heartedly put inner knowing into practice is art of letting go, creating new Soul guided relationships and conditions as realities

 

Friday
Aug042023

Decoding trauma leads us to truth

Notice that Truth emerges out of trauma, even layers and layers of trauma as one finds unimaginable courage to to sift through it. This process is about exploring taboos and caverns within us that the mind has us believe are out of bounds, covered with no trespassing signs. Yet, being undeterred from what mind scares us into believing is "mischief" , non-conformity, even instills fear of death or God, is the yellow brick road in disguise, the ultimate path into the unknown that allows the wizard behind the curtain to reveal itself.
Turns out, truth is the unbearable knowledge we are taught to fear and avoid, what ego develops around to hide deeper realities. Truth leaves ego speechless, utterly crippled, unable to know how to relieve its agony as its very existence is threatened. It avoids "Truth" entirely by developing the imaginary level of consciousness. This is where we create an idea of false self that is tolerable and can allow ego to manage the unbearable reality it has to face. It also creates familliar physical senses to ensure the real does not erupt in the face. So, unbearble familliar knowledge becomes repressed, forgotten. Amnesia hits. One becomes clueless, deliberately throwing away the key to knowing itself.
As a strategy, ego creates a symbology, a logical or rational way of seeing and analysing things to ensure the mind stays trapped in the imaginary world. That level of the the symbolic only affirms the imaginary. It simply creates more karma and confusion. True symbology enables us to see through the illusions of imaginary reality that the conscious ego exists in. That conscious level of ego existence is no more than a prison or hell room, (some call it a red room and have fun here for a time). Yet the growing agony of limitations that the imaginary register create difficulty, forces one to play a character that one knows is not one real Self. One feels its an inauthentic being . This cripples the possibility of any lasting happiness and lasting relationships.
To know true happiness, the ego must be released to rediscover what is truly real. This differs from what has been accepted as real, conceptualized as such and then repressed. The act of meditation begins by dropping all concepts to offer a glimpse of truth. At first, this is dropping of imaginary concepts, then the eruptions of the real must be felt and dropped. This brings on the dark night of the soul. Then as all unconscious is recognized as unreal, and the shock of reality may feel like hitting rockbottom.
Despite this, the ultimate trauma for ego is real love. The love ego seeks is the love that reinforces its own illusory existence, that is, conditional love. The ego cannot become vulnerable enough to love deeply or know true intimacy. Ego can only express love as insatiable desire. The desire to be desired is simply the desire to be seen as an object, a body lusted after, used, possessed, defiled by the other. That kind of love is sought as a way to deal with other unbearable trauma. Of course, the awake being knows this is not real love. For it simply leads to more desire for illusory love to fill an emptiness that cannot be filled.
The only way to be free of this is to discover what true love is for oneself. Only through direct experience then does it dawn that you are more than a body. more than a mind, more than emotion. The love that comes from one's own heart is something the ego can never reach. The ego is too repressed to allow itself to be open. To find courage to enter the heart and rediscover love, we rediscover chakra 5, the ability to refute or dismantle the fantasies that have been destroying one's life and crippling one's capacities to manifest one's potential. Yet, once one has access to real love, the ego and power it exerts over consciousness, is dissolved. This fabrication was only meant to enable a helpless child to survive, not to be in charge of the adult body.
One continues to run from oneself, continues to fall into repressed infantile states, until one is ready to grow up, let go of dependency. This is about taking responsibility. We each have ability to self sabotage . As we recognize the ego's folly, nothing to fear. Demons are mental delusions, memory traces. Monsters we project are inviting us to lturn within, see the source of fear. So long as we choose to live in the past, we do not value or fully embody the real truth. Real Love leads one to the real Self.