4 Tips to transform relationships

If you desire to change soething about your relationships, its helpful to realize you must begin with yourself.  Reflect on these 4 tips to transform your relationships by shifting your point of attention inward:

1. Notice relationships mirror beliefs: 

Your beliefs about relationships, men, women, children, pets, love and anything emerge as relationships. The beliefs each person holds prompt us to react and act  to support our growth and conscious awakening.  In order to experience anything or anyone you must first relate to it. For instance, the nature of relationships reflects what you are choosing to vibrate. Even if your partner is being faithful, if you vibrate distrust you will look for reasons to prove otherwise and you experience an echo of this.  Beliefs that govern your experiences and relationships point to subconscious core beliefs.  Since your relationships are based on them, you perpetuate a vicious circle until they are made conscious and healed.

2. Be accountable for all your qualities: 

Every quality you see in your partner, is your mirror. The more you dislike a certain quality, the more it is showing you a part of your consciousness that you are not acknowledging. For instance, if you dislike your partner's jealous nature, you will find that you too are jealous perhaps not of him or her but of others. If your partner's or child's competitiveness annoys you, this reveals you do not see competitiveness in yourself. If your partner's negativity or insecurities get you down, this reveals the same about you. The only reason that these qualities are annoying you is because they are also yours. As long as you do not acknowledge them as your own they will continue to frustrate you, while owning up to them allows you to grow.   You may find that even some positive qualities annoy you. For example, if your partner's overly kind and giving nature frustrates you, it reveals you want to be more generous but resist. Alternatively, your partners' ability to forgive may make you uneasy. See it as an opportunity to forgive. 

3. Own what frustrates you in others:

When your partner acts in ways that upset you, you too act in the same way, most likely not towards him or her but towards yourself and probably others. The more some behaviour frustrates you, the more it reflects a part of you that you are not owning. If your partner treats you with disrespect, look within yourself and see who you treat with similar disrespect, whether it be a friend, a family member or yourself. If your partner criticises you, you will find that you are critical of yourself and others. If your partner ignores your needs, you will find that you too ignore your own needs or those of others. Ultimately, you teach others how to treat you by how you treat yourself.

You may find that the quality you see in your partner appears to be the opposite of your own quality, but in fact it is the same quality expressed in a different way. It is still your mirror. For example, the introvert attracts the extrovert, the weak attracts the strong, the giving attracts the taking. Such seemingly opposite partners attract each other so that they can learn from each other and bring their own extreme quality into balance. In order to attract your opposite, you yourself have to be at the other end of the spectrum and so are unbalanced as far as that quality is concerned. Simply put, opposites attract in search of balance. When none of your qualities are at either extreme of the spectrum, then you can no longer attract its opposite.

4. Face the truth of all relationships: 

Emotionally and physically abusive relationships mirror qualities/ core beliefs like any other relationship. At the root of abusive relationships is a deep lack of self-worth in the abused partner. The only way to rise above such relationships is through the power of self-love.  The more you love yourself, the less you put up with any lesser behaviour toward you from others, the more you invite a mirror of self loving treatment.

10 Keys for a successful & rewarding life

Many people ask what is required to create a successful life, which can include areas of relationships, business, career and more. Whatever your current focus, consider these 10 tips to guide you:

1. See through your resistance

The ego mind is that part of you that tells you no, that's not possible and offers reasons why you cannot do what you want.  Ego kyboshes ideas, blows them out of the water and discourages you.  Its up to you to see through fears underlying your own resistance. Why do you fear success?

2. Align with intuition

Call it the the inner voice, Spirit, intuition, the proverbial Jiminey Cricket voice of conscience or something else. Whenever you listen to this higher more expanded aspect of yourself, you know you can have everything you want in life. Its a matter of focusing attention here rather than on the sparks doubt. You choose to hold back or move ahead.

3.  Set your intention

The more you clarify for yourself the road you wish to travel, the more powerful the journey can be. You do not need to know exactly how the universe is going to translate every step of your intention into physical reality.  It helps to be flexible, to be certain your version of success is attainable and feel it.  The power of intention is like a launching platform or catapult to accepting and expressing inner greatness.

4.  Share your passion

You create your version of this world as a place to share your gifts.  This requires you not only identify what your gifts are by also have the backbone, courage and take initiatives to present them. 

5. Feel worthy to receive

Self-worth issues can be roadblocks to different avenues of material success. The spirit world is taking care of each of us. If you open your mind and tell yourself you are worthy to be successful, success happens, with a bit of effort, trust and intervention from higher (unseen) forces.  It goes without saying you have to believe, know and have the right mindset.  You have to see yourself sharing your gifts. How the gifts get to people may surprise you as you allow the universe to cooperate with you.  The 'what you wish to share' always takes shape in your scope before the universe reveals to you how the rest unfolds. 

6.  Honour who you are

Never measure yourself in terms of anyone else.  What is in you allows you to do anything. Open up to your own unlimited inspiration and power.  You can be successful in anything.  Simply make up your mind, set our intention and get on with it. Whether its a business, relationship, new career or something else envisioned, its all within reach now.

7.  See money as energy

Many people assume that certain kinds of businesses or people are prone to be more financially succesful than others. It is often assumed for instance, that spiritual businesses cannot make money.  Whatever your business idea or other life vision, the experience of having it can be curtailed by your beliefs about money.  Seeing money as energy flow allows a more abundant self-perception to emerge. 

8.  Change your consciousness

You have to be willing to take ownership of your thoughts, feelings, actions and involvement in situations. Changing your consciousness is about accountability, the willingness to take responsibility for where you are at, your self-view, educational and other milestones as well as self-defeating tendencies to get over.

9.  Empower others

Whatever hat you wear, whatever roles you perform in life, your job is to empower and enable not disable others.  Part of your responsibility in this life is to help others identify and honour their own inner light and empower them to honour their gifts and talents, share them with the world and shine brighter. Its often easier to see in others what they do not yet see in themselves.

10.  Recognize your unique path

Refrain from comparing yourself to others. You are only in competition with yourself, on a path to clarify and share more clearly your reasons for being.  Each human being is on a unique path.  Resis judging others and dismantling people and ideas.  You exists to build people up, empower them to see their own true greatness via your unique journey.  Insodoing, you come to see everything as a mirror of your own true greatness.

12 Ways to master your fear

Resistance is fear in disguise. It has the power to stop you dead in your tracks, stagnate your growth, limit your perception and understanding. Notice specific experiences you reach for or deny yourself right now. Whenever you say you postpone anything, far more is going on.  

Hesitation is fear in action. Fear arises when something threatens your comfort zone. You may tell yourself you do not have the time, the money, the freedom, the right mindset, adequate insight, to take advantage of what is presenting. Its all fear taking shape as excuses. Telling yourself why you cannot do something simply reinforces the fear that holds you hostage. The moment is here to address this and move through it.  

Review these 12 ways to master your fear:

1. Shift focus from the future

Your fear is always about assumptions on what’s going to happen next. Thus, your fear is always about that which does not exist. If your fear is about the non-existent, your fear is completely unfounded, imaginary. The future is always pointing and guiding you to the present moment where intuition is the most reliable guide. If you have the urge to act, fear only holds you back if you are unconscious to the mind's tricks.

2. Decide why you are here

You must decide whether you are on this planet to experience life or avoid life. If you exist to experience life, intensity is required. Without it, you are not living fully. Using fear as a tool to protect yourself reduces the energy flow available to you to create. Once the visceral is gone, you are no longer really living.  You only live based on mental ideas or heresay. You cannot experience anything fantastic and ecstatic.  When you are fearful, you cannot experience wild abandon. You cannot sing, dance, laugh, cry, fall inor lose yourself in love. You cut yourself off from what makes you feel alive. You only sit, grieve, regret not taking risks. 

3. Get comfortable with the unknown

Admit it.  You are taught to feel comfortable with the familliar, with what is predictable, or  perceived 'normal' though no such thing exists.  The more you accept life is energy in motion where nothing is permanent or predictable, the more you realize you are living with the unknown every moment and doing just fine. Be conscious of this and watch your perception of fear transform into excitement about the unknown.

4.  Let go of the urge to control

HUmans are taught that unless we can exert control, we must fear. But is it possible to ever have control? Even if you can swim, you can drown. A professional musician or experienced chef can still make mistakes. Give up the illusion of control, and you are free.

5.  Surrender

Surrender to what is is powerful, even if it seems 'way out there.' because as long as we try to change what is, we allow the mind's filtered version of reality convince us that is real.  In doing so, we cut oursleves off from far more.

6. Get rooted in reality

When you are not rooted (grounded) in reality, suffering happens. Suffering is always about that which does not exist.  When not rooted in reality, you are always rooted in your mind. Mind is – one part of it is memory, another part of it is imagination. Both of them are in one way imagination, because both of them don’t exist right now. You’re lost in your imagination, that’s the basis of your fear. If you were rooted in reality, there would be no fear.  If you are suffering the non-existential, we call that insanity. So, people may be in just socially accepted levels of insanity, but if you’re afraid or if you’re suffering anything which does not exist, it amounts to insanity,

7. Consult a Life Coach 

Do you fear success or fear failure? A good life coach can help you examine what you truly want from life, and guides you to pinpoint the true origin of your fears. Its crucial to be clear on what you really want and what is actually holding you back.  Commit to loving the process.

8. Read & Listen

Reading a book, scanning relevant webpages or listening to podcasts that touch on your specific fear can open new doors on how you can get rid of it. Access motivational and inspirational work or glimpses of workshops about topics you recognize you are avoiding.

9. Get into the flow

Inactivity can be a sign from your inner guidance system telling you that you still have preparation to do. If you tell yourself you cannot do something due lack of income, it helps to see everything as the flow of the same energy.  Taking action to generate income begins with loving yourself and being true to who you are. Loving more, doing what you love and seeing everything as energy in motion, allows flow to happen. 

10. Watch films & Youtube videos

Watching a movie, documentary or Youtube videos can be eye-opening. Sometimes it’s nice to distract yourself from your fear, but if you really want to, you can find loads of movies on the fear you’re dealing with and empower yourself to see your fear from a completely new perspective.

11. Identify the lesson

Fears are pointers to lessons we create for soul growth. Overcoming fear involves learning related lessons and moving ahead.  The Path of life is about identifying lessons, accepting and expressing more of yourself. This shapes all areas of your life; relationships, career, and far more.

12. Model a master

Connect with a person or people who have experienced the fear you have and also moved beyond it.  Spend time with them, ask how they did it, and explore whether this approach could work for you.  Discuss the nature of the process. You can learn a lot about yourself and the emerging master within.

Allow optimal health

In the deepest core of ourselves, illness or any sense of life imbalance offends what we are.  Perceived illness and imbalance are experienced when we deny core well-being, deny perfect health is our true reality, deny responsibility for situations we are in.  To resist lessons being offered is to resist we create and respond to situations for our own growth.

Denial is resistance. It limits freedom.  The thing that core being or inner intelligence does not tolerate is loss of freedom.  From the moment you are self-limiting, you hold yourself back from being the best you can be.

Notice the heart expands into joy and love.  Allow yourself to express these things and you feel good, align with core well-being, see things as they are.  You cannot help but feel content wherever you are and people around you feel the good vibrations. Allowing optimal health and balance into your life is a choice. You allow whatever you believe and feel to manifest.

Stop taking things personally

If ever you ask yourself how to stop taking things personally, you are really asking yourself to look deeper inside at what is truly bothering you.  Feeling stuck or victimized can reflect in every area of your life to get your attention.  You may wonder what or whom you are really resisting?

When you allow other people to control your emotions, you give your power away.  When you feel stuck or victimized, you resist your true self.  That is, you do something your true self would not do.  You create your own stuckness because you resist expanding beyond your belief or idea. When you are peaceful or accepting of the way life is unfolding, you accept your true nature, you accept people as they are and know it is not about you.  When you experience negativity, emotion is pointing to something you do not wish to see inside yourself.  

You may resist change because you think it is threatening.  You may take things personally because you may forget confidence and worthiness are innate. The human side of you fears going into the unknown, fears what it cannot explain. It wants to go somewhere on its own terms, controlling the what, the where, when and details. The human creates an ego identity to protect.

Every moment you feel stuck or uncomfortable, you are pushing yourself outside of your self-created comfort zone.  As you choose to accept whatever other people say about you without being adversely affected, you are connected to self-acceptance.  When you truly love yourself without conditions, you stop taking things personally. What other people say no longer matters.  Your experience or projection of the external world is a mirror of how you feel about yourself.