Get back to what is real

Notice pure consciousness is. 'You' arise by taking on projections of the world around you. Pure consciousness is colored by them. "Your" identity takes shape as you decide to accept or modify the projections. That decision gets repressed in the unconscious and becomes a fixation. Once repressed, you can no longer change it. Your thinking process grows from projections and your decisions arise as the basis of thought. Ego (who you believe you are) arises from who you are told you are. The false idea of you stems from early projections, decisions and fixations. It's like ego is the image you see in the mirror. The basis of the underlying operating system (beyond the mirror) often goes unrecognized. The ego wants center stage. Eliminate the operating system, and the ego disappears ('you' see no reflection). Yet, to hold 'your' attention, ego imagines problems. This prevents you from seeing behind the curtain/mirror. By thinking it's unworthy, in need of improving, ego prolongs its false existence. As long as ego can maintain the illusion of imperfection, 'you' do not see ego arises from false logic. No entity really bears your name, personality, or sense of person-hood. It's an illusion created by pure consciousness, filtered through primary projections. To eliminate the fixation, grow aware the projections are false. By imagining inadequacies, you perpetuate suffering and the illusion of separation. The real issue is the projections only arise because originally what was offered was a lack of love. Do not trust the projection that produced 'your ego'. It was not God saying he did not love you, it was people in your life that unknowingly withheld /did not provide constant, unconditional love. No matter how much self-improvement you do at level of ego, you are still unworthy because of the structure of the ego. No matter what cosmetic changes you make, no matter how much money you obtain, none of it will end the projection the core of the ego desire to improve itself. Only by growing conscious you are a Being of Light does the desire for love shift beyond Ego processes and yearn for improvement. Innermost Source of love is pure consciousness from where all creativity comes. Be the endless field of abundance, joy and bliss.

Love Yourself First

Notice loving yourself first brings greater clarity and fulfillment on a wider scale. "Who am I" who is able to give love? Am I giving it or, simply wanting to receive it? And is this about love or wanting to be desired, accepted, valued, heard? Love and desire are not the same. In this context, to be loved (desired) one day could lead to being rejected another day. Desire is then, not a stable form of emotional energy. Is my desire truly "love" for another or a subtle attempt to control and possess and take away their freedom or potential for growth? Does the free offer of love grow into an unconscious demand based on set of conditions? Is love then selfish or selfless? Is love based on fear, perceived lack and assumed instability without the other? Its amidst the chaos of internal self conflict that the impossibility of certain love is recognized. Related relationships end. This revelation evokes misery, despair, sense of where to from here? The very structure of collective ego is in a state of fragmentation. The only way out of the quagmire is through- to feel and return to Source, focus on love power that is ever present and accessible, alongside the courage to let go of the unreal.

Ego's ideas of love can justify regressing to childish behaviour. To move out of the energy of a codepedent struggle, mental-emotional imprisonment of the other, the key is to recognize true love is about letting go not clinging or holding on. When the other flies, and detaches emotionally, ego is abandonned. True love is seen as it is. Only love of pure goodness gives one the ability to shine or radiate light. The conditioned reaction to fear, deny, repress and run from pain and search for pleasure signals the love we bear for self.

Deny thyself nothing, give self infinity and eternity and discover that you need nothing for you are beyond. - Nisagardatta Maharaj

Surrender to the Mystery

Notice much like a caterpillar cannot turn itself into a butterfly, the ego cannot turn itself into a Soul. HUmans hold potential for a level of collective consciousness that is more expansive than where we are. Yet, only as we surrender to what is beyond ego, only as we trust that which ego cannot see, think or comprehend, and let go of the desire to have to know, does the miracle of alchemy occur. The elixir of life is within and each of us is called to experience it fully for ourselves. Consider a caterpillar eats its way to oblivion, innocently encloses itself in a cocoon, not knowing what is going to happen. Then, a mysterious metamorphosis takes place to transform it. The butterfly emerges effortlessly from the liquid like a phoenix that surrenders to death and emerges from the ashes. What happens to the caterpillar inside the chyrsalis and the phoenix within the ashes, is not for the physical eyes to see. This transmutation is timed precisely to coincide with the ultimate expansion of consciousness. So, a new mode of magical thinking or being is emerging without conditioned limitations. At the perfect moment, it dawns one cannot take an external bridge to infinity when one is itself the bridge.

Come Full Circle

(Image by  Mareh Kohen)

Notice at a given moment, you can only ever do "your best" based on your current insight, level or stream of consciousness. A focal point of awareness knows there is never anything wrong with you or how you do anything. How and what we see is simply a matter of perspective. Purpose and circle of compassion simply change (expand or contract) based on sense of self. So long as you view yourself as a separate individual, purpose is related to time and distance imagined to reach "success," in forms of a job, life role, sense of community or experience. As you tune into the Soul, and reframe 'coming full circle,' the only purpose is to love everything and everyone equally not only in mind, but also consistently in practice. There is nowhere to go, nothing to become. As it dawns love and acceptance are here now, one's circle of compassion expands. One gently stops recognizing difference or attempting to prove oneself, stops comparing and judging. Imagined boundaries dissolve. The ego mind could never understand for it cannot comprehend unity, equality or interconnectedness. The more you notice fear and/or love speaking through you, the more you come to notice the ego comes and goes whereas true divine Being is ever-present. As timeless Being takes the helm and navigates the ship (human body-mind), then choices change and love is the ultimate purpose and motivation in every area of your life. Trust and surrender are the compass. This does not often happen instantly, but it does happen. We are each like a stone skipping across the cosmic ocean, leaving ripples, deciding what stacks up, changing vibration in due course.

Equanimity is what you are

Notice the resistance that arises at the prospect of facing adversity. Sitting meditation in silence offers ideal conditions for preliminary practice, to develop tools to face what evokes discomfort, and yet, sitting as such is not the real thing. True meditation happens when you are amidst the action, the chaos, when you face impossible people, intense emotions, unavoidable situations. During such conditions, can you keep the mind in silence, solitude and peace? To do so, we must first raise awareness and stop attacking ourselves. Many of us have a mind split into a victim, rescuer and/or attacker for ourselves or "others". We may even change roles. Still, when we are fiercely equanimous, we do not perpetrate or yield to threats, do not cave at emotional manipulation or implications, remain unaffected from attacks and guilt-trips that come from our superego, our own unconscious. We dissolve it by refusing to ratify it. By calmly abiding, we see through the unreal. The ego mind attacks, would like us feel bad about ourselves, stuck in a spiral. The only way out of it is to stop being an ego self, be unaffected by desire or fear, pain or enjoyment. Our true practice is to come to view suffering as a mental exercise. Most of us are taught to fear death, pain and other challenges. Yet, to a Zen master, all are great blessings. The view is our enemies are our greatest gifts to evoke love, passion, forgiveness, self-empowerment in the realisation of the unity of all that is. They guide us to let go of the ego mind, that which would like to be in pain, to be in a state of inadequacy, guilt, shame, attacking or peaceless self -justification or self-reproach. These are all false relationships with the real. The Supreme Being is within us. Only through awareness and alignment with Soul can we claim this power. A guru cannot give it. Mantras or other spiritual practices do not give it. One must claim it and with the power of will, integrate it into our life. It happens when we are in a state of deep honesty and truthfulness with ourselves. If we allow it, our inner voice can sting us worse than a sword. Let us focus on remaining in unwavering stillness. Let us not react, but move instead into that state that dissolves into the pureness of our Being which is love. Let us follow our breath. Get into the mind of silent presence. This vital life force, or equanimity is what you are and it cannot be lost.