(Image: Human Energy Field- visionary art by Alex Grey)
Many people have heard phrases like “Silence is golden” and “Silence speaks louder than words.” And yet, situations also arise when not speaking up is not in our best interest and can also be detrimental to others.
This article invites reflection on 13 situations that invite us to recognize speaking up is important, desirable and in the interest of the greater good. Knowing the best course is about learning to tune into our vibration and watch signs and signals within us. May this inspire each of us to step back and review what can feel like tricky situations. Self-mastery involves systematically mastering our fears.
1) When we witness injustice
When we see someone is treated unfairly or unjustly, we ought to know deep down silence is not an option. Whether it’s at work, in public, or even among friends, standing by and doing nothing makes us complicit in the injustice. It takes courage to speak up, especially if the person acting unjustly is a partner, family member or perceived authority. We each matter. What we say matters. Validating others and their rights is like validating ourselves. Candidly sharing can inspire others to also listen to their gut and say what they feel.
2) When our boundaries are being crossed
Moments arise when people, intentionally or unintentionally, cross our boundaries or those around us. It might be through words, actions or even invading personal space. Many people know what it is to stay silent, thinking they don’t want to create a scene or get on someone’s bad side. Yet, I’ve come to realize my peace of mind is paramount. Respecting myself not only alleviates discomfort. It also ensures my boundaries are respected. Yet for my boundaries to be respected, I must first clearly define them.
3) When something is unclear
Many people seek clarity. At the same time, they may act as if they know or understand things they do not. I’ve been in meetings and personal situations when what’s being discussed is confusing or unclear. It’s easy to feel embarrassed and just nod along, pretending to understand. Yet, I’ve found that asking for clarification shows courage, open-mindedness, and willingness to learn. That does not necessarily mean I always get clear on everything, Yet, If we say nothing, we stay in the dark. Instead, make room to let light in.
4) When our health is at stake
Well-being is a given yet how we experience health in the body, varies. True health and balance depend on being in harmony with our soul. Life experience has taught me to tune into the heart for guidance. Although self-care may be effective and beneficial at times, there are situations where I speak up and reach for external expertise. In health matters, silence is not an option. If I have a serious physical wound that is bleeding, or require surgery, I get things properly treated. I am open to discussing symptoms with specific practitioners, expressing discomfort to a fitness instructor or friends who relate. It’s easy to ignore signs until that no longer resonates with conscious living.
5) When our values are compromised
Certain situations arise that challenge our sense of taboo or compromise of our values. Whether it’s at work, in relationships, or even casual interactions, I’ve been in situations that turn out not to align with my core values. Tempting as it might be to keep silent to maintain peace or avoid conflict, I’ve learned that this can lead to regret and resentment. As the way I live my life is my message, I work toward transparency to encourage others to work though their own layers of unconscious dishonesty. Hence, it’s crucial for me to shift situations when my values are disrespected, standing firm in my convictions while also promoting understanding.
6) When we feel unsafe
Safety is a tricky one. This may seem obvious but it is not. Earlier in life, I found myself in situations in school, workplaces and elsewhere where I was bullied and due to fear of authority, injury, or undesirable consequences, I chose not to speak up when I felt unsafe. Fear of safety led me to allow others to exert power over me. Of course, we are generally taught not to put ourselves in harm's way. Yet the mind can interfere. As we grow in wisdom and maturity, this allows seeing things from new perspectives. I am systematically working through this and empower others to do so. It helps to take the personal out of situations, to reflect on universal principles and make decisions based on what is for the greater good not based on what ego would have us do or not do.
7) When someone we care about is hurting
During our life journeys, we encounter situations where people we care for deeply are going through a tough time, mentally, emotionally, physically, perhaps living with the memory of having done something they regret. If we truly see this, feels it, we are aware of it, both the inward sorrow, as well as the outward sorrow. Then, only one option exists-we must respond, one has to solve it, one can't just sit by and do nothing. Of course, it may be tempting to remain silent, assuming they need space or fearing that we might say the wrong thing. However, I’ve discovered that reaching out and expressing concern and support can make a difference. It’s not about proposing ot solve their problems. it’s about reminding them they’re not alone. Sometimes, it is reassuring to feel supported. At the same time, its also important to recognize we are not responsible for the choices other people make or do not make.
8) When we are hurting
To feel is what makes us human. Pain is physical, suffering is mental. Self-worth can be affected. At times, I’ve chosen to keep difficult feelings to myself. I’ve put up a facade, pretending I could handle it all. But I’ve learned that silence can amplify my suffering. Being honest about my feelings, reaching out for help when it feels right, has been one of the hardest yet most liberating things I’ve done. Turns out, vulnerability is strength. In some situations, to admit that we not okay is a big step towards deep healing.
9) When our ideas can make a difference
Some of the biggest innovations have come from unexpected ideas? For instance, the idea for the Post-It notes came from a 3M engineer who thought of using a weak adhesive for bookmarks. To doodle or generate ideas invites brainstorning and expanding on what inspires us. Our ideas could be the next big thing, or might resolve a situation that’s been bothering loads of people. Remember, thought and the courage to voice it is what changes our reality.
10) When we are treated unfairly
Discrimination and other mistreatment are more widespread than often realized. I recall a period in my life when I was working for a few different employers who had favorites and exploited me. It wasn’t initially overt, but the subtle biases were felt. I was often overlooked for opportunities for which I was just as qualified. In some cases, I was underpaid for my work. At first, I brushed it off, thinking it was all in my head. But as time passed, the pattern grew more evident. It took courage, but I finally voiced my concerns. Those employers did not always see the same way as I did. I was let go in one case and threatened by others. Things didn’t change immediately. Yet, I began to see a shift in myself which led me to create situations where I was treated well. The lesson here is, if you feel you’re being treated unfairly, don’t suffer in silence. We deserve to be heard and treated with respect. Life is a mirror for how we treat ourselves.
11) When silence hurts more than words
We’ve all had moments in our lives when we chose silence, hoping it would save us from confrontation or pain. But sometimes, silence hurts more than words. I remember a time when I had a falling out with a friend. Instead of talking it out, we both chose silence. As days turned into a longer period, the distance grew. It took a lot of courage and swallowing of pride to finally break the silence and mend the friendship.
12) When dreams are guiding us
The more we develop drem recall and explore possible meanings in our dreams, the clearer it is we are often giving ourselves soul-level guidance from about how to manage situations in the physical world. Exploring dream recall tips and writing down what we remember is a helpful way forward.
13) When you experience (or witness) a conflict of interest
Conflicts of interest happen when people acting in professional roles of authority as well as in personal roles that compromise our position and vulnerability. For example, its unwise (and unethical) to get romantically involved with our boss or a anyone who exercises authority over us. Its also not in our best interest to share deeply intimate details of a colleague or co-worker who could take advantage of that information. This is about creating or reinforcing boundaries.
In closing, if you’re in a situation where silence is causing more damage than good, it’s time to speak up. The words might be hard to say but remember, healing starts with a conversation.
Monday, November 13, 2023 at 6:30PM 